The Sexual Experience Thread

The Batlord · 08-11-2012, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy

I just burst out laughing in a situation where I shouldn't have burst out laughing, thus making it awkward for myself and others.

That's why you shouldn't use your iPad at a funeral.

~~Sansa Stark~~ · 08-11-2012, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burning Down

I wish I could do that, lol. We can stay in bed for hours afterwards.

He goes into a sex coma and I'm always like LETS GO DO **** NOW NOW NOW NOW NOWNOWNWONWONOW

YorkeDaddy · 08-11-2012, 11:29 AM

^ haha, it was a little less severe than that. I was just on a computer at a library.

Alright Franco. You know what? I like you. So I'm gonna help you. You seem like you want to get your jimmies wet. Well, it's easy, especially because you're African American and you probably have a huge johnson. Here's how you go about doing this:

Step 1: Be a part of the "in" crowd. This is the only difficult step. Do whatever you have to do to do this. Play sports, be a druggie, it doesn't matter, as long as people think you're cool.
Step 2: Keep your ears open for parties. If you hear there's gonna be a big one, GO TO IT. Do whatever you have to do to get invited. Bring some kush, supply the liquid gold, it doesn't matter as long as you get. to. that. party.
Step 3: Once at the party, lay low for a while and watch as the ladies get drunk. Find the ones you're wanting, but don't be too picky. Surely you'll see some with those "juicy booties" you like or whatever the hell you say.
Step 4: Once it's pretty late and the ladies are tipsy, just walk over to a group of them, calmly whip out your shaft of love, and say in your deepest, most sensual voice: "BEHOLD. I AM FRANCO PEPE KALLE." Then watch as the ladies swoon. With this method, you'll get AT LEAST one woman, if not several. Usually you get several. This all depends on penis size though, for every inch over 7 you get 1-2 more women. So, for instance, if you're packing 9 inches of lovin', you could quite possibly get FIVE women in bed with you, juicy booties and all.

Trust me. This is foolproof. Be sure to let us know how it goes once you've followed my steps!

Burning Down · 08-11-2012, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hermione

He goes into a sex coma and I'm always like LETS GO DO **** NOW NOW NOW NOW NOWNOWNWONWONOW

Yeah, we're not like that lol. It's sort of like "let's just chill and then maybe we will have more sex". Which usually happens.

Key · 08-11-2012, 01:41 PM

Sex is pretty rare in my current relationship. Not anything bad, we both just don't find sex as "necessary to a relationship" as a lot of other people do. Every now and then it happens, but we could literally go the rest of our lives without having sex and it wouldn't change a thing.

Howard the Duck · 08-11-2012, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YorkeDaddy

^ haha, it was a little less severe than that. I was just on a computer at a library.

Alright Franco. You know what? I like you. So I'm gonna help you. You seem like you want to get your jimmies wet. Well, it's easy, especially because you're African American and you probably have a huge johnson. Here's how you go about doing this:

Step 1: Be a part of the "in" crowd. This is the only difficult step. Do whatever you have to do to do this. Play sports, be a druggie, it doesn't matter, as long as people think you're cool.
Step 2: Keep your ears open for parties. If you hear there's gonna be a big one, GO TO IT. Do whatever you have to do to get invited. Bring some kush, supply the liquid gold, it doesn't matter as long as you get. to. that. party.
Step 3: Once at the party, lay low for a while and watch as the ladies get drunk. Find the ones you're wanting, but don't be too picky. Surely you'll see some with those "juicy booties" you like or whatever the hell you say.
Step 4: Once it's pretty late and the ladies are tipsy, just walk over to a group of them, calmly whip out your shaft of love, and say in your deepest, most sensual voice: "BEHOLD. I AM FRANCO PEPE KALLE." Then watch as the ladies swoon. With this method, you'll get AT LEAST one woman, if not several. Usually you get several. This all depends on penis size though, for every inch over 7 you get 1-2 more women. So, for instance, if you're packing 9 inches of lovin', you could quite possibly get FIVE women in bed with you, juicy booties and all.

Trust me. This is foolproof. Be sure to let us know how it goes once you've followed my steps!

are you teaching him to drunk-rape?

Rjinn · 08-11-2012, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franco Pepe Kalle

Damn I feel bad for you. Keep trying, you'll get your chance to make love again.

Well obviously you can't find one.

YorkeDaddy · 08-11-2012, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard the Duck

are you teaching him to drunk-rape?

shhhhh

~~[MERIT]~~ · 08-14-2012, 09:46 PM

Still haven't been able to bring myself to sleep with another woman since my wife and I separated. Although we divorced in July 2011, we've still been sleeping together up until last month. So much for a clean break and moving on. I still can't get over the fact that we won't be spending the rest of our lives together. She was the one, at least I thought she was.. What hurts the most is that she is no longer the person that I fell in love with. That person is gone forever. I don't even know who she is anymore, and that saddens me.

Dr_Rez · 08-14-2012, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oojay

Still haven't been able to bring myself to sleep with another woman since my wife and I separated. Although we divorced in July 2011, we've still been sleeping together up until last month. So much for a clean break and moving on. I still can't get over the fact that we won't be spending the rest of our lives together. She was the one, at least I thought she was.. What hurts the most is that she is no longer the person that I fell in love with. That person is gone forever. I don't even know who she is anymore, and that saddens me.

So why are you sleeping with her then?

08-11-2012, 11:29 AM	#5683 (permalink)
YorkeDaddy silky smooth Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Pangaea Posts: 4,079	^ haha, it was a little less severe than that. I was just on a computer at a library. Alright Franco. You know what? I like you. So I'm gonna help you. You seem like you want to get your jimmies wet. Well, it's easy, especially because you're African American and you probably have a huge johnson. Here's how you go about doing this: Step 1: Be a part of the "in" crowd. This is the only difficult step. Do whatever you have to do to do this. Play sports, be a druggie, it doesn't matter, as long as people think you're cool. Step 2: Keep your ears open for parties. If you hear there's gonna be a big one, GO TO IT. Do whatever you have to do to get invited. Bring some kush, supply the liquid gold, it doesn't matter as long as you get. to. that. party. Step 3: Once at the party, lay low for a while and watch as the ladies get drunk. Find the ones you're wanting, but don't be too picky. Surely you'll see some with those "juicy booties" you like or whatever the hell you say. Step 4: Once it's pretty late and the ladies are tipsy, just walk over to a group of them, calmly whip out your shaft of love, and say in your deepest, most sensual voice: "BEHOLD. I AM FRANCO PEPE KALLE." Then watch as the ladies swoon. With this method, you'll get AT LEAST one woman, if not several. Usually you get several. This all depends on penis size though, for every inch over 7 you get 1-2 more women. So, for instance, if you're packing 9 inches of lovin', you could quite possibly get FIVE women in bed with you, juicy booties and all. Trust me. This is foolproof. Be sure to let us know how it goes once you've followed my steps!

08-11-2012, 01:41 PM	#5685 (permalink)
Key . Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 13,153	Sex is pretty rare in my current relationship. Not anything bad, we both just don't find sex as "necessary to a relationship" as a lot of other people do. Every now and then it happens, but we could literally go the rest of our lives without having sex and it wouldn't change a thing.

08-14-2012, 09:46 PM	#5689 (permalink)
~~[MERIT]~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Missouri, USA Posts: 4,814	Still haven't been able to bring myself to sleep with another woman since my wife and I separated. Although we divorced in July 2011, we've still been sleeping together up until last month. So much for a clean break and moving on. I still can't get over the fact that we won't be spending the rest of our lives together. She was the one, at least I thought she was.. What hurts the most is that she is no longer the person that I fell in love with. That person is gone forever. I don't even know who she is anymore, and that saddens me.