Music Banter - The Sexual Experience Thread

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Oh god, it really is the worst. So weird, not to mention it's impossible for anyone actually doing the work to not look ridiculous. All I can think about is how gross my feet are and it ruins the moment.

I was thinkin of the $$$ he paid tbh and I played Pokemon and tried to block out his weird noises and ohhhh goddessss thank uu soooo much for letting me suck ur beautiful toes

I kicked him out after like 5 mins lmao

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carpe Mortem (Post 1449417)

I hope the fact every time my bf wants to cuddle I try to make it sexual doesn't push him away. I have been dumped for treating my men like meat in the past.

Will try harder to be sweet.

I know that feel, just im a guy and she plays the part of your boyfriend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rezdaddy Longlegs (Post 1456027)

I know that feel, just im a guy and she plays the part of your boyfriend.

We can't be blamed dude, cuddling feels really really good :beer:

Had the best orgasm of my life last night. Equally high libido relationships are cool.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering (Post 1450414)

I'm going to write a memoir called "Jesus Will Come Before I Do: How I Joined a Nunnery"

Ki not providing the goods?

Had a first last week. A girl fanny farted on me. The grossness and ridiculousness - try making eye contact and putting it back in - of the situation caused me to lose my hard on.

Home for the summer now, back to sharing a room with my younger brother. Can't jerk off in the room. Laptop dies if it is not plugged into a socket so can't take it somewhere more convenient to jerk off.

Not being at Uni cuts me off from the plentiful amount of other young people looking for NSA sex. And I'm from a pretty small place. I refuse to sink to Tindr but feel the lack of sex over the next 2 and a half months might drive me insane. What on earth do I do?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mankycaaant (Post 1456431)

Get an 8 dollar fleshlight from wallgreens bro.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rezdaddy Longlegs (Post 1456434)

Get an 8 dollar fleshlight from wallgreens bro.

Wait, you can buy those at Walgreen's? Huh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mankycaaant (Post 1456431)

I fucking hate Tindr.

The fanny fart thing I've done often. The thing is it's actually really funny (albeit slightly embarrassing) and it tends to not be off putting when you're actually dating the person. One night stands makes it awkward and you don't feel completely comfortable with someone else's body.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mankycaaant (Post 1456431)

Ki not providing the goods?

the logical side of me blames the varying schedules.

there are people I know who would probably sacrifice their life savings to fuck me (but I could never bring myself to be attracted to anyone else, and this I know - I really have a difficult time finding most men attractive) and this chump is missing all the cues.