Obama Inauguration Speech Generator (dance, house, albums, American, magazine)

sleepy jack · 01-19-2009, 10:47 PM

My fellow Americans, today is a pretty day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "abortion", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually dance.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces spicy and juicy challenges like never before. Our economy is grotesque. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for Republicans. Our healthcare system is cute. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a philosopher. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Star of David dildo. But fucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Palestine.

Finally, I must thank my nutritious family, my massive campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank NAMBLA for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of fucking the American people. Without your hot efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Inauguration Speech Generator

lucifer_sam · 01-19-2009, 10:56 PM

Play for keeps.

sleepy jack · 01-19-2009, 10:59 PM

Does Cheney ever not look agitated though?

NSW · 01-19-2009, 11:01 PM

"My fellow Americans, today is a poofy day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "rat", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually spit.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces hard and soft challenges like never before. Our economy is smelly. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for hobos. Our healthcare system is squishy. If your head is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a gigalo. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a pencil scotch tape. But swallowing together we can right this ship, and set a course for taj mahal.

Finally, I must thank my skeezy family, my round campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank occultists for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of banging the American people. Without your super efforts, none of this would have been possible."

Some of it doesn't make sense...but it was amusing.

Surell · 01-19-2009, 11:12 PM

My fellow Americans, today is a ugly day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "boxer", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually knock.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces super and cool challenges like never before. Our economy is majestic. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for arteries. Our healthcare system is awesome. If your wrist is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a hustler. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a ****roach Superbowl. But sensing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Bowery.

Finally, I must thank my awful family, my distasteful campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Black Panthers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of destroying the American people. Without your great efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Surell · 01-19-2009, 11:13 PM

wait, wut

Dr_Rez · 01-19-2009, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sleepy jack

Finally, I must thank my nutritious family, my massive campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank NAMBLA for making this historic occasion possible.

My ****ing god. I thought NAMBLA was basically a joke, and something people had made up.

After reading 3 pages on it, WOW. I was certainly wrong. And I learned candy is not what draws the boys into houses, apparently its the video games.

"Suffolk County District Attorney Garrett Byrne found that the men used drugs and video games to lure the boys into a house, where they photographed them as they engaged in sexual activity." (That is how it began.)

-Boston Magazine, Boy Crazy, By Benoit Denizet-Lewis, May 2001

sweet_nothing · 01-20-2009, 12:01 AM

Quote:

My fellow Americans, today is a penis day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "penis", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually penis.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces penis and penis challenges like never before. Our economy is penis. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for penis. Our healthcare system is penis. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a penis. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a penis penis. But penis together we can right this ship, and set a course for penis.

Finally, I must thank my penis family, my penis campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank penis for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of peins the American people. Without your penis efforts, none of this would have been possible.

oh yeh, I went there

WWWP · 01-20-2009, 12:13 AM

My fellow Americans, today is a squishy day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "goat", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually swing.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces scratchy and soft challenges like never before. Our economy is luscious. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for sluts. Our healthcare system is beautiful. If your thigh is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a mailman. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a fireplace shoe. But sucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Wyoming.

Finally, I must thank my black family, my white campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Crackers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of ruling the American people. Without your strong efforts, none of this would have been possible.

LOL.

The Monkey · 01-20-2009, 06:25 PM

My fellow Americans, today is a murdering day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "honky", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually ****.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces black and ugly challenges like never before. Our economy is wet. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for heroes. Our healthcare system is soulless. If your ass is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a prostitute. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a America ****. But ****ting together we can right this ship, and set a course for Alaska.

Finally, I must thank my foolish family, my redneck campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank white trash for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of kicking the American people. Without your stinky efforts, none of this would have been possible.

01-19-2009, 10:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
lucifer_sam Unrepentant Ass-Mod Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 3,921	Play for keeps. __________________ first.am

01-19-2009, 11:01 PM	#4 (permalink)
NSW Bigger and Better Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Texas girl living in the UK Posts: 2,596	"My fellow Americans, today is a poofy day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "rat", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually spit. Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces hard and soft challenges like never before. Our economy is smelly. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for hobos. Our healthcare system is squishy. If your head is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a gigalo. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a pencil scotch tape. But swallowing together we can right this ship, and set a course for taj mahal. Finally, I must thank my skeezy family, my round campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank occultists for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of banging the American people. Without your super efforts, none of this would have been possible." Some of it doesn't make sense...but it was amusing. __________________ Hi.

01-20-2009, 06:25 PM	#10 (permalink)
The Monkey Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Sweden Posts: 803	My fellow Americans, today is a murdering day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "honky", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually **. Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces black and ugly challenges like never before. Our economy is wet. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for heroes. Our healthcare system is soulless. If your ass is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a prostitute. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a America . But *ting together we can right this ship, and set a course for Alaska. Finally, I must thank my foolish family, my redneck campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank white trash for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of kicking the American people. Without your stinky efforts, none of this would have been possible. __________________ Now another stranger seems to want you to ignore his dreams as though they were the burden of some other* My Last.fm