MusicBanter News Desk
 

BONG...lucifer_Sam agrees to host a genre Introductions thread, enrol here; http://www.musicbanter.com/announcem...y-threads.html...BONG...Yes are set to become the first band to fail in the MusicBanter Hall of Fame nominations poll. boo boo distraught. Moderators mobilise suicide watch...BONG...The 100 Things That Pisses Me Off About Music thread reaches fever pitch.

And finally...sleepy jack hasn't logged in for 5 days despite not posting an "I'm leaving forever" thread. Rumours to his whereabouts abound.

THIS JUST IN: a source close to Sleepy Jack (Ethan himself) that he would be out of town for a while, 2 weeks I believe.

Also, who hired the Anchor of this news cast? A face for radio if ever there was one.

BONG..Richard from Guernsey lights the torch paper and watches MB go up in smoke BONG.. In a rare interview, Jackhammer tells the world what it's like to post sober on MB BONG... Parliament to take sub genre banning to the house of lords and in an exclusive VT still shots of female members drive the pre-pubescent boys into their hankies.

BREAKING NEWS...jackhammer reaches milestone 5,000th post with an incredible 10.87 average posts per day return. A post whoring feat not accomplished since the heady days of MisfitsPunk.

We have to return to MB headquarters with the announcement that the management has questioned the amount of jackhammer's posts due to the words 'Sade', 'I hate sub genres', 'fave' and 'Pink Floyd' appearing far too frequently. One MB insider has been overheard as saying "Those god damn limeys think they own the fucking place". Once again Ethan was unavailable for comment.

I MISS ETAN!

Inorite?

This is gonna keep me entertained, keep it up Manc.

Ethan Update: The mystery deepens.
An unknown spokesman close to sleepy jack claims he may be in hiding from an irate ex girlfriend who threatened him with sex.
Concerns were raised following reports of his final words to his parents being, "I'm just off out to stare at the stars in the night sky and gaze upon the birds leaving beautiful traces of lost memories, while I lay, alone, in the soft, long timeless grass of hope".
His mother said she wasn't duely concerned, but he left without taking his coat.
Other rumours and speculation include that he may have been kidnapped by an online paedophile ring specifically targeting emo's and reports of two separate sightings of him working as a checkout girl at a Michigan Walmart store are being investigated by MB moderators.

The heretic Urban Hatemonger, recently charged with blasphemy, is to be charged and tried under MusicBanter law of Vinyl Abuse.
If found guilty, he will be sentenced to 'death by stylus'.

BONG...booboo's shoelaces and belt have been confiscated due to the worryingly disenchanted nature of his 'Yes' related posts BONG the long forgotten tale of Tool drummer Danny Carey's midgets has resurfaced but no one has confirmed this story as nobody has ever seen these midgets (they are small init?) posters in the Metal forum are monitoring the situation closely and finally ... the introductory thread http://www.musicbanter.com/announcem...threads-3.html has descended into pornographic chat with captain caveman quoting that he can do hardcore and PMO retorted with 'fill in holes when I need to'. Last but not least we have recieved a photo claiming to be of Ethan:











































http://liquidgeneration.blogs.com/ph...orized/emo.jpg

but we cannot verify this at this time.

hahahahaha

"The circle of judgement never fails to break their spirits..."

Just in from PMO headquarters: He's getting his A-level results tommorow so wish him luck, he's going to need it :s

right-track mails in his first lot of holiday snaps...

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l9...490_widewe.jpg
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l9...peoplebird.jpg
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l9...ishBeaches.jpg

Let's hope that that's his granddaughter.

BONG...boo boo proclaims his unrequited love for Bjork and his erotic satisfaction at being whipped...BONG...Yes are on the rebound for the twentieth time during their career, yet this time for a much less significant Hall of Fame...BONG...Vladimir Putin conquers the Caucasus region singlehandedly and relinquishes control an hour later to enjoy a nice cuppa vodka...

BONG It's Alfred's bed-time, as he has a swimming/lifesaving/lifeguarding course at 9 in the morning, not to mention he hasn't finished studying.

BEEEP dreadnaught should go to sleep seeing as how the Stalag Nazis insist on starting at 7:00 in the morning. But alas, Humanities homework calls :(

Thank you! Definitely got into my 2nd choice, doesn't look like i've made my first but i'm going to college in a bit to find out for sure.

Uni here i come!

BONG...Jackhammer has posted an incredible 115 replys in six days since reaching the 5,000 milestone, admin are checking the quality of these and admit that they need 'to have a word' BONG.. despite the band 'Yes' failing to make it into the MB hall of fame, parity is achieved through the band 'King Crimson' storming into a stunning 12-0 lead. Booboo's belt and shoelaces have been returned.

One final item... MB spammers have been dealt their last hand. All new promotional posts can be banned on sight now. The moderators are brandishing the rarely used ban hammers as we speak.

http://www.rnhorological.co.uk/image...LLETS%20RN.jpg

http://www.unisatmobile.com/UniSat%20Color%20Bars.jpg

--------------------------- What happened to the news?

This is the greatest thing I've ever read, I love you david.

Bump this.

BONG! MB seems to be going Dad rock sorry Dire Strait's crazy with threads and downloads reaching epic proportions.

BONG...Seems to be the preferred smoking method in MB's http://www.musicbanter.com/lounge/25...ug-thread.html

Newsflash: Reports are coming in about the custom size avatars.
A MusicBanter spokesman today revealed that the return of the custom size avatars for regular members, that were so popular back in the day, are no more.
Consequently, all those poor members that changed their avvies by downsizing in the hope of a return of the feature...are well and truly screwed!!!

Yes, that means you Marijan.

beep beep beep:
savannah sues jackhamer for downsizein her av

faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

coryallen2 banning sensation latest:

A MusicBanter insider has recently revealed to the newsdesk that corryallen2's 3 day ban has taken a turn for the worse.

corryallen's condition appeared stable with what initially appeared to be only a 1 day ban remaining before he was given the all clear and a clean bill of health.
His return to the boards looked a certainty, then dramatically at the 11th hour it was pointed out that the the unnamed mod responsible for banning him (coughUrbancough) had given him an irreversible 10 point infraction.
Despite gallant attempts by fellow moderators to revive his account, he still remains in a vegetative state....no change there then!

Can corry's account be brought back to life?
Will the mysterious unnamed mod be even arsed?
Does anybody actually care?

The next few days will be vital...stay tuned folks.

Lets Hope Not
No
No?

Can we take bets on how long it will take the boards to get a new WendyCal/Correy/YukonC?

I give it 2 weeks at the most.

I bet they are all the same person.

Now that would take talent, so I dont think its true. I mean each of them have completely different styles of being annoying board crushing pests. To be able to diversify ones self so widely seems a near impossible task.

It's performance art by a team of Stephen hawking, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and the Dali Llama

I'm more likely to believe that out there somewhere in the dark depths of cyberspace is an evil, malevolent spirit that possesses angsty teen kids, only to be frustrated with the exorcism of the ban hammer, before seeking out yet another innocent victim doomed to spam the boards of MusicBanter...

..or at least that's how it seems from where I'm standing.

So sayeth the right-track

Phillip Seymour Hoffman should be making a sequal to The Big Lebowski not spamming these boards. Hell id even accept a MI4. Shame on you Phillip. And for the Dali Llama, shouldnt he be freeing Tibet? :( Damn technology, prevents people from getting anything done these days.

We interrupt this thread to bring you this newsflash.

CORYALLEN2 UNBANNED

I will never change my avatar.