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Freeskier
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Istanbul was Constantinople now it's Istanbul not Constantinople...
Posts: 1,544
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Every now and then I feel old. I'll be talking to girls I go to school with, who are only two years younger than me and just feel years ahead of them. It's not that they're SO imature, it's that all of them seem to be in such a rush to move into the "adult" phase of their life. Two girls in my class are 19 and have met the "love of their lives", certain they are going to be married. Call me cynical, call me bitter, but I refuse to believe that getting married that young is a good idea. One guy in my class was "engaged" to his girlfriend for years before they even turned 18. They split up halfway through the semester and he promptly dropped out. I'm always hearing people talk about how their new boyfriend of girlfriend is the "love of their life" and they're "meant to be together." All this after only knowing the person for three months. I've had food in my fridge longer than that. I'm sure I'll get a load of responses of couples they know who met at 18 and were married 2 months later, and still live happily together 25 years down the road. That's great, lucky them. But I don't know a single couple in my personal life who have not gotten divorced within their first year after marrying in circumstances like that. I've also noticed that the most imature people I know are the ones who try as hard as they can to place themselves in adult situations. Relationships are great when you're young, they're fun, but I see no reason to place youself in that serious of a situation when it has such a HUGE chance of failing. I see no point in giving up the one time in your life when it's ok to be completely and utterly selfish about what you want to rush into something that's probably going to fail anyway. I hear girls I know talk about quitting college early so they can get married, have kids, and then maybe finish their education when the kids are in school. I'm baffled by this. I can't imagine that that's how they want to spend their lives, that they don't have any goals or ambitions for themselves other than a family. Yes, this is incredibly biased and based only on my own personal views, but still, if this "love of their life" is really "meant for them", they'll still be meant for you when you're old enough to know what you want out of life. A good indication that you're way too young to get married is that your facebook status changes from "married" to "it's complicated" when you hit a rough patch. Updating your facebook profile should NOT be your first priority if you're trying to save a marriage. And yes, I actually witnessed someone doing this in the throes of divorce. When I was 12 I knew people who were already having sex. When I was 15 people were talking about how in love they were with their boyfriend/girlfriend of a whole month, when I was 18 people were getting married, and now at 21 those people have one divorce under their belts. Am I the only one who is content to milk my youth for all it's worth and not rush into this stuff? I can't help but be convinced that these people are going to look up one day at 25, with three kids, an ex husband and a mortgage, and think "why the hell didn't I wait?" Kids these days....
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What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road. William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass. HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER |
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