Jesus my grandma is talking about how it used to be. "In my day we ate what was for dinner, and that was that! In my day we hung them nigs because they were bad people back then! Haha it was just different, I tell ya."
It's driving me insane

Ok... This all sounds very similar to how I went through my teenage years (and to a large extent I still go through these things), so I'll throw my 2 cents in.

Above all, just know you are over analyzing things. The fact that you wrote all that and felt better proves this. I bet half an hour later you felt like crap again. This is because for a while, you worked things out in your head in a tangible manner and your logic-loving mind appreciated it. Then your surroundings changed (as in you may have gotten off the net) and your brain had new things to deal with yet again... Hello anxiety. Judging from the lucidity of your post, I'm willing to bet you are a pretty smart and self aware guy. This is good and bad. It means you will be able to appreciate the beauty in the world but you will also feel the bad side of life a lot harder than many people. This is just something you will have to learn to deal with in your own way. I'd tell you how, but I'm still learning myself. Even my appreciation of my own interest in life and figuring these things out has become jaded, so I'm pretty confident this is something I will have to deal with my whole life.

All in all, this is why I am here. I love music. It helps more than anything else. I feel my head running 1000 miles an hour and I know it's time to get lost in an album. I'm sure you already knew this trick, though. Outside of that... Instead of just being honest with people try to relate to them. See where they are coming from in life. The biggest comfort I find in others is realizing everyone has problems and REALLY being able to see how that is.

Anyway... I hope this helps a little.

That is a really good point. That is what really made me feel better about my anxiety at the start, was I started realizing that everyone experienced it in some degree and then my motives really became quite jaded after the massive security I experienced. To some extent I was discussing problems with people not to gain perspective but just to make myself feel as though I was better than others because I had the ability to get people to open up back to me.

Which is totally the opposite to what I was doing in the first place. I guess I just gotta listen to my heart. Listening to my heart was what lead me to try being straight up with people and be happy. But I have to work on accepting that what it means to follow my heart isn't going to be the same all the time, it is so counter intuitive to my logic loving brain (as you very accurately described it) to accept that.

There is a reason I guess why it is so effortless to have conversations with people when you are following your heart because it has an essence of truth and the truth is always incredibly interesting. I want that kind of effortlessness to be more prominent in my life.

Music does wonders for me but just like my tendency to over do things I enjoy I often do it with music as well. Moderation is something I struggle with. When something makes me happy I get to attached. Interestingly enough I have never had an experience where a person has ever made me super attached. That's usually like the first thing people think of when they think of desperation.


Duga is there any life experiences that you had that helped you mature some what out of this kind of over analytical obsessive thinking?

Ok guys, my computer is blue screening, the cd/dvd drive won't work, and I'm running out of space. I think it's time to get a new computer, but I has little money. :(

I just need a new tower, I want something that doesn't cost too much and isn't complete crap. Any suggestions, or should I move this post to another thread (I don't know a proper place for this)?

Getting attached to someone is one of those life experiences. Obsessing over materialistic things for comfort is easy...you get tired of it, throw it away, and maybe come back to it whenever you want. Getting attached to someone and having them attached to you in return is a different experience altogether. You don't just have your concerns to worry about, you have theirs. Rather than generalize this, I'll let you know how it went down for me.

I met a girl my senior year of high school. She was gorgeous, we could talk on and on for hours, and most importantly - she wanted me. This was so much the opposite of my experience up until that point that I got completely lost in it. Like my obsession with music, I let myself make her my world not realizing that like music and many other materialistic things, I would get tired of her. It hit me and I didn't know how to deal with it. She had followed me to college, so I felt very guilty and it became very hard to just end it. It resulted in a lot of psychological stress for the both of us. We eventually did end it, I started missing her (despite getting tired of music sometimes I always come back to it, and it happened much in this way) and did some very embarrassing things to try to get her back. It didn't work.

Despite this, I don't regret one bit the way it went down. It taught me a lot about myself...more than any other experience I can think of. Somehow I was able to extrapolate this experience on a much broader scale. I am patient with everyone, I am very understanding, and I am very honest (not because I want to be honest for my own benefit, but for the benefit of others). Not just that, but I was able to figure out exactly what I wanted in another relationship. Now I am with a girl who is 1000x more what I want, and even when I can feel that weary feeling creeping up, I'm able to ignore it because I know she has everything I want. This experience also helped me relate and really FEEL what others might be going through more than just analyzing it on my own. In that way, I'm able to calm down from my anxiety much faster than I used to.

All in all, these things just have to come naturally. Realize you are on a ride and life will take you wherever it wants. As much as you think you can rationalize and predict everything that will happen, you won't. I am consistently surprised by life, and though I know I will have to deal with stress and over analyzing for all of it, I also know more crazy things are coming my way and I can't wait for it.

Thanks duga that is some really good and highly relevant wisdom. I never really thought about how the fact I have never REALLY been in love yet as being a big hole in my maturity. But can kind of see what you mean. There is a girl I met a few weeks ago that I am starting to get some of those vibes from. Like feeling at ease and having your personality validated by some one who you validate. I should really see what would happen between us. I never really considered it before because my ego was telling me "I could do better" but really it does not actually matter at all. I think she is cute and she is a lot like me.

All my other experiences with girls have been quite shallow now that I think about it. I remember thinking that sex would change a lot of that but it never really did.

Well, we have this thread: http://www.musicbanter.com/lounge/43...rt-thread.html

You could probably get new parts from Newegg or something...

Edit: I'm an absolute twat.

my fiancee are having a really bad tiff

What does tiff stand for? I mean I know it means an argument, but is it short for something?