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View Poll Results: Hey. Did you just grab my ass?
Yes... 30 34.48%
From where I'm standing that is a physical impossibility 26 29.89%
Sh...Should I? 31 35.63%
Voters: 87. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-05-2010, 06:36 AM   #6401 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
I remember that article! I haven't started growing around my toilet...yet. But I do get red rump marks after 20 minutes of sitting on the hard seat!

Maybe I should get one of those cushiony ones.
Or maybe you should get one of these.

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Old 10-05-2010, 06:47 AM   #6402 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Pedestrian View Post
Yeah, it really should only have to happen once before you learn your lesson.
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Originally Posted by Janszoon View Post
It happened to me once when I was four, I learned to look before sitting down after that point.
Alcohol seems to blur my outlook on this theory after a night out. I look when I'm sober.
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Originally Posted by butthead aka 216 View Post
i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Originally Posted by Dr. Rez View Post
Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 10-05-2010, 12:26 PM   #6403 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
Typical man. Always shouting.



But seriously, the underside of a toilet seat often has flecks of poop on it, so I prefer to avoid touching it unless absolutely necessary. That's why I'd want YOU to put the seat down if you were the one to lift it.
Mine doesn't

Maybe it's all the extra gas in your vegan diet causing it to spray more.

I remember when my sister went vegetarian, Christ, I'd refused to go into the toilet at least an hour after she had because it smelled so bad.

Thankfully grew out of that phase and started eating meat again.
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Old 10-05-2010, 01:24 PM   #6404 (permalink)
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Not only did I have to go to a funeral today, but I also have to write an essay on female castration after a 5 hour bus journey.FML
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Old 10-05-2010, 06:49 PM   #6405 (permalink)
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Not only did I have to go to a funeral today, but I also have to write an essay on female castration after a 5 hour bus journey.FML
Which part do they cut off there?
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Old 10-05-2010, 08:26 PM   #6406 (permalink)
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I assumed it was the same idea as female circumcision.
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Originally Posted by butthead aka 216 View Post
i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Keep it in your pants scottie.
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Old 10-05-2010, 08:29 PM   #6407 (permalink)
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^ Which is absolutely horrific.
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Old 10-05-2010, 09:45 PM   #6408 (permalink)
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Google has enlightened me to the horrors of which you speak.
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Old 10-05-2010, 10:59 PM   #6409 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Freebase Dali View Post
Yea, if there's often flecks of poop under the toilet seat, both contributors should have equal stake in handling the toilet seat. This is a 50/50 relationship, and the poop must be touched by both of us in order for this marriage to work.
Oh my goodness no, I would never actually *touch* a toilet seat to raise it. I use a toilet paper square barrier to prevent contact between said seat and my pristine fingers.

I get your point about the 50/50 business, though...but my view is that if a person decides to lift up the seat (which is certainly better than *not* doing so, assuming he is going to urinate), then why not have him put it down, too, so only his fingers get potentially contaminated with bacteria from the underside of the seat?

Because if a woman were to touch the underside of a seat while putting it down, then she should wash her hands after doing so to ensure she doesn't contaminate her toilet paper, which could contaminate her urethral opening while wiping. When a man puts the toilet seat down, this just makes sanitary handling of a toilet so much easier for women! And your future spouse will really appreciate this little bit of thoughtfulness. Trust me.

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Originally Posted by mojopinuk View Post
Or maybe you should get one of these.

Hmm...it *looks* comfortable...but does it flush? I really prefer my cosy, comfy spot to be one where I can just let everything hang/dribble out, so to speak. I've got a comfy chair or two, and they're nice, but they just don't provide the same degree of relaxation to my "soul" as my toilet does!

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Originally Posted by Urban Hatemonger View Post
Mine doesn't

Maybe it's all the extra gas in your vegan diet causing it to spray more.

I remember when my sister went vegetarian, Christ, I'd refused to go into the toilet at least an hour after she had because it smelled so bad.

Thankfully grew out of that phase and started eating meat again.
I'll have you know that my vegan poop smells like flowers, Urban. Flowers, I say!

It is probably true, though, that new vegetarians produce more gas than long-term vegans such as myself. My gut fauna are used to beans and broccoli now, and I produce very little gas that could cause explosive poop propulsion. Maybe your sister just gave up too soon.

But you are onto something there with the consistency issue. Meat-eaters usually make big, hard logs, don't they (?), which probably cause waves rather than poop flecks in a toilet. Vegetarians, I have observed, make more of a soft-serve ice cream consistency (with more chance of splattering). Like this:



I don't *usually* make swirls in different colors, though.
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Old 10-06-2010, 06:19 AM   #6410 (permalink)
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I will never eat another chocolate ice-cream cone...
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Originally Posted by butthead aka 216 View Post
i havent i refuse to in fact. it triggers my ptsd from yrs ago when i thought my ex's anal beads were those edible candy necklaces
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Originally Posted by Dr. Rez View Post
Keep it in your pants scottie.
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