Dont mind Lucy. He gets randomly triggered over the most mild things on occasion.

I think this time he was being ironic.

Like, what the ****? Why you always trying to point **** out?

Yeah, I'm not very good at picking up irony in written language. Or at picking up non-verbal subtleties in general

You're fine, it is they whomst are naught

In other news, I have identified the seat ****ter.

Be merciful

When your bowels go it’s so horrible

That's no reason to **** on a seat and not clean it up though.

But who is it? Now I'm legitimately invested in a seat-****ter saga from the other side of the ocean

It’s probably not intentional or even negligent

Imagine like you have to keep a change in your purse or bag

Your bowels just ****ing explode almost no warning

You want to make sure you’re clean. You try to clean up but you feel rushed and it’s like a panic feeling. You wipe everything down. You think it’s good.

I wake up at 4 AM so I can get two chances to move my bowels at home and don’t eat much at all before work.

I never **** at work but I have to ****ing arrange it and others have it worse.

I had a friend send me a really hostile email because he said I left **** on his seat and I felt so mortified and tried so hard not to let that happen. I even went through his cleaning supplies and was sure I got it all but I obviously I didn’t. I felt terrible about it.

Oh man, I get anxiety just reading that