I wish I knew what to say, buddy.

Write a trashy vampire novel and become a millionaire

It might actually be such a good idea that everyone's a fool not to go for it. Practice writing, then do some weird furry/vampire thing and self publish. Base it on Harry Potter, but just distanced enough that a lawsuit won't happen. Might end up printing money.

PS: Remember to write under an alias so you name won't be tarnished.

My pen name is Sultry S. McVixen.

The S. stands for Surprise.

Nobody said anything at work. Just business as usual.

Yeah wouldn't want to tarnish OccultHawk's good name.

They probably didn't care. Employees do weird scornful things all the time, and what you did wasn't nearly bad enough to get reprimanded for it.

I gotta say though as someone who worked in food and dreaded coming into work everyday, **** that ****. If you have the option, bail. Set up a fall-back job once you quit/get yourself fired and get the hell out of there.

Yeah. My plan is one year and then polishing up the resume and heading out west.

If you don’t know my backstory I had a meltdown and ghosted my tenured teaching job. I’m hoping doing mindless **** for a while will get my brain healed up. I’ve improved a lot emotionally. Trying to enjoy the moment. Like today, I listened to a bunch of good music at work on my headphones. Now I’m coasting on an easy buzz about to fix some grub. I hear you though. So long ago while in college after a dish/prep job ended I swore I’d never work in a restaurant again. And I stuck to that promise for 25 years. But yeah you can’t stay in it. It’ll kill you.

I truly hope everything works out for you dude.

I did that too. Been lucky so far.