JWB: also uses too much tissue paper.

Mr. Whipple is utterly terrified of JWB.

http://gingertruitt.com/wp-content/u..._Whipple_2.gif

Mr. Whipple sells toilet paper though. Tissue paper is not a pleasant thing to wipe one's ass with I assume.

Oh.

I guess whoever wipes their ass with tissue paper has to be a super-fancy individual with some sort of mental disorder or some slightly fruity frat boy who's REALLY into parties.

Dear everyone on my Facebook feed with kids who are having birthdays:

NOBODY. CARES. OH MY GOD. YOU BIRTHED A THING. IT'S GROWN INTO A SLIGHTLY BIGGER THING. NOBODY CARES BUT YOU. SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THE UGLY THING.

There's no need to spam my goddamn newsfeed with your snot-nosed crotch-critters for the entire goddamn day. It's gonna happen again in another 365 days and still nobody will care but you.

Dear everyone on a forum I frequent with an irrational hatred for anything younger than itself because it never experienced the 70s:

NOBODY. CARES. OH MY GOD. YOU DRANK A THING. YOU'VEGROWN INTO A SLIGHTLY DRUNKER TWENTY SOMETHING. NOBODY CARES BUT YOU. SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT YOUR POINTLESS DRUNK RAMBLINGS

There's no need to spam my goddamn new posts feed with your snot-nosed whining about other people's crotch critters for the entire goddamn day. You're gonna do it again in all of the other 365 days and still nobody will care but you.

Dear everyone in Wolves in Sheepskin:

NOBODY. CARES. OH MY GOD. YOU MADE A THING. YOU'VE GROWN INTO A SLIGHTLY MORE TERRIBLE MUSIC ENTHUSIAST. NOBODY CARES BUT YOU. SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT YOUR POINTLESS MUSICAL RAMBLINGS

There's no need to spam my goddamn new posts feed with your snot-nosed whining about other people's crotch critters for the entire goddamn day. You're gonna do it again in all of the other 365 days and still nobody will care but you.

Aww you didn't change the last paragraph at all though so you only get a 6/10.

Actually I'm sober NOW BECAUSE MY MEDS WON'T WORK IF I'M DRUNK but I'd still like to tell a certain someone to fuck off and stop inviting me to her kid's goddamn birthday party.

Maybe I should pester the person in question in about June/Julyish about "my cat's birthday party is coming up" and just keep spamming even though she's made it clear she doesn't care.

It's pretty much the same concept, except my existence isn't so inane that my cat needs a birthday party.