Divine is from my hometown, and We have John Waters here too. Heroin and drag queens are our #1 main export.

looks like I have found my calling

anyway

I hate how I really want a new pair of saddle shoes but every fucking listing on eBay or Amazon seems to have the word "costume" in it.

bitch, do you think this is a fucking joke?

Ive never seen the actual movie but i saw a midnight movies documentary where they talk about Pink Flamingos.

From his work the only one i can say that i like is Cry baby.

I had to look that up. So, basically... you want to wear bowling shoes?

... I was not aware that bowling shoes look like the supercute black and white oxford saddle shoes that the girls wore in the 1950s.

....I'm also kind of busted up because I could easily wear a poodle skirt to work in the summer but I feel conflicted 'cause it'd have to be black and I'd feel much better about myself buying a $50 skirt in my favorite color (pastel pink).

I have so many problems today, man.

You are a ridiculous person.

right?

sometimes I wish I wasn't, but then I'd be so bored with being a human that I'd probably kill myself.

I don't wear bowling shoes and I'm still not particularly bored with my awesomeness.

I just wanna drink booze and get high and dance with pretty girls but the MOTHER****ING MAN, MAN. Everygoddamn time. **** the man, man. Except don't literally just cuttim or something. Unless you're into that. Or either.

DRUGS

They are in my brain.

Is it cool if I use these as lyrics?