The Bitch Box

Urban Hat€monger ? · 01-03-2014, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mojo

I'm either growing a spine or I'm just getting to an age where I'm getting more comfortable saying exactly whats on my mind.

I think it's an age thing, you get to the point where you've been burned so many times before you just can't be bothered with it anymore.
I used to go clubbing with a big group of people maybe 20 - 30 of them, I bet if I called any of them up now only a couple of them would give me the time of day.

Mr. Charlie · 01-03-2014, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ROCKSTARMARTHA

I work 2 full time jobs and go to school and still seem to be broke. End of story!

However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. - Henry David Thoreau

Maybe he was onto something?

Dr_Rez · 01-04-2014, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mojo

One lad I used to work with, didn't see him for a few months when I left, during which time he split up with his girlfriend. He got back in touch, we grabbed a few pints on occasion, I helped him with things on about three different occasions, which included helping him to move house, then he met someone else and ignored me whenever I tried to make contact with him again.

Lots of people do this with relationships. I understand that when meeting someone new it is exciting and you want to be around them all the time but it is unhealthy to stop your entire life for them. Those are the kind of people who when single are a miserable mess. The same people are constantly getting in and out of relationships because if you are not happy with yourself what makes you think some other person is going to change that....

Point being if you are not happy single you will not be happy with someone long term. I may only be 23 but I have watched people I know go through this time and time again and it holds true. Iv been single 90% of my adult life and have grown quite comfortable with that, so now that im in a relationship it is like an added bonus not the end all be all.

Mojo · 01-04-2014, 11:30 AM

Yeah, lots of people definitely do it. Basically if someone I know meets someone and is happy to spend each and every minute with their partner and completely forget about their friends, then fine. Its their life. It just should, and probably will be, a decision with permanent consequences.

If they are gonna pick me up and drop me at their convenience, only using me to alleviate their boredom or loneliness, then they can piss off. These are the people that, should they find themselves alone, will be very, very lonely.

Plankton · 01-04-2014, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mojo

I've always been irritated to no end by people who ignore me, or pick me up and drop me whenever its convenient for them. Basically if someone doesn't wish to commit to a friendship, or just doesn't like me, and they never give that impression then I'm perfectly ****ing happy with that. However I know too many people who are happy to give that impression when they need something, and then pretend they never met me when they don't. What annoys me the most is I've always tended to allow these people to keep coming and going, appearing and disappearing.

This weekend I had encounters with two people like this. Both went very differently. One lad I used to work with, didn't see him for a few months when I left, during which time he split up with his girlfriend. He got back in touch, we grabbed a few pints on occasion, I helped him with things on about three different occasions, which included helping him to move house, then he met someone else and ignored me whenever I tried to make contact with him again. This weekend I bumped into him and he sparked up a conversation with me. I said hello, I shook his hand, and told him I would very much appreciate it if he just doesn't bother in the future, that I don't particularly wish to remain friends with him, and goodbye.

There is also a girl I have known for several years now. Way back when we used to hang out a lot, very frequently. I was quite into her at this time. We drifted apart, we saw each other much less frequently. She is very rarely single. Its always been the case. After three separate break-ups, it became very clear that I would only see her each time she was dumped. I would make her feel better about herself, give her a little bit of an ego boost, sometimes a rebound, and of course then I wouldn't see her again when she met someone else. Someone told me during the week she had just split up with her last serious boyfriend, and so I waited. Knowing what to expect. She texted me today. I deleted both the message and her number.

I'm either growing a spine or I'm just getting to an age where I'm getting more comfortable saying exactly whats on my mind.

I call those people Fair Weather Friends. I don't even bother with them anymore.

Dr_Rez · 01-04-2014, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mojo

Yeah, lots of people definitely do it. Basically if someone I know meets someone and is happy to spend each and every minute with their partner and completely forget about their friends, then fine. Its their life. It just should, and probably will be, a decision with permanent consequences.

If they are gonna pick me up and drop me at their convenience, only using me to alleviate their boredom or loneliness, then they can piss off. These are the people that, should they find themselves alone, will be very, very lonely.

Yea my best friend got in a relationship (his first one actually) a few years ago and they spend nearly every second of every day together if not at work. Like you said I am ok with that it is his life but dont get angry when I dont feel like hanging out with you on the rare occasions you decide to do some "man things".

Burning Down · 01-04-2014, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rezdaddy Longlegs

Yea my best friend got in a relationship (his first one actually) a few years ago and they spend nearly every second of every day together if not at work. Like you said I am ok with that it is his life but dont get angry when I dont feel like hanging out with you on the rare occasions you decide to do some "man things".

I don't really understand people who do this. Like don't you get tired of the other person after a while? I know that when you're in love with somebody you feel like you should spend every waking moment at that person's side, but you don't need to and probably shouldn't.

djchameleon · 01-04-2014, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rezdaddy Longlegs

Yea my best friend got in a relationship (his first one actually) a few years ago and they spend nearly every second of every day together if not at work. Like you said I am ok with that it is his life but dont get angry when I dont feel like hanging out with you on the rare occasions you decide to do some "man things".

My old best friend was like that. I can't continue to consider her my best friend when she constantly does that to me. This last relationship she decided to take it a step further than usual and she un friended me on Facebook. She usually just ignores me when she finds a new guy/relationship but I guess she is more serious with this guy and felt the need to unfriend me.

Paul Smeenus · 01-04-2014, 06:21 PM

^ Then she wasn't really your friend in the first place IMO

djchameleon · 01-04-2014, 06:24 PM

She was a friend at one point in time when I first met her and for a few years after. She was married at that time but as she got older and separated. She got worse over time. I have known her for 11 years.

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01-04-2014, 11:30 AM	#13884 (permalink)
Mojo Melancholia Eternally Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: England Posts: 5,018	Yeah, lots of people definitely do it. Basically if someone I know meets someone and is happy to spend each and every minute with their partner and completely forget about their friends, then fine. Its their life. It just should, and probably will be, a decision with permanent consequences. If they are gonna pick me up and drop me at their convenience, only using me to alleviate their boredom or loneliness, then they can piss off. These are the people that, should they find themselves alone, will be very, very lonely. __________________ Last.FM \| Echoes and Dust