| The Batlord |
12-04-2013 10:05 AM |
Anybody who gives their cat canned catfood should be taken out into the street and shot. And whoever invented it should be shot twice. For anyone who's never owned a cat, canned catfood is the thing in the supermarket that smells the most like putrid, rotting flesh. Probably because it is. Whenever I walk into the kitchen and my mom has given the cats the devil's vomit I can only assume that she must care more for the cats than herself, because no one who truly cared about themselves would subject themselves to such a foul odor just because their cat likes it. So shooting these people would be putting them out of their misery.
Whenever our cats are sick or have had surgery and need to be kept in a room they go in the bathroom, just because it's the only room we can use. To get them to take their medicine my mother frequently mixes it in with canned catfood. So for a week, or a month, or however long, I often open the door to the bathroom (since it obviously has to be closed to keep the cat inside) and am assaulted by the rancid stench of canned catfood that has been fermenting in a small, enclosed space with little to no ventilation. It's enough to make one gag. I don't just smell it, I feel it in my nose. And in my mouth. And on my eyeballs. Luckily Criminal Minds has taught me that breathing normally will acclimate my sense of smell to just about any odor in a few seconds. But for those few seconds that I'm inhaling this noxious cloud I hate my mother and my cat and the world at large with a fiery passion that makes me glad we don't keep a gun in the house. Arg.
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