Gotta love today's youth
 

me: The balding man is so drunk.
B: How can you not see the ****ing hobos rising from the ground?
me: No way in hell they're getting my breakfast burrito, man.

"me: oh man...
B: what?
me: i just used a shut up card."


coming down in B's room
B: "its cold in here"
Me "it is, in fact, 'room' tempurature"
[laughter ensued for about 10 minutes afterwards]


"why do asians shave there vaginas?" my friend on mushrooms

Me to friend: Dude, we're looking kind of purple.
Friend (looks at himself): Holy ****, we are kind of purple.
Friend (stops and thinks for a second): WE'RE NOT PURPLE PEOPLE!

"I'D SQUIRT INK BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO CLENCH!"

yea... i think i would laugh hysterically at that
if i were on acid as well.