Oriphiel

Who the fuck even bothers factoring originality into Disney flicks? I can make literally any Disney flick sound like ass just by describing the plot.

It's about whichever gives you the most feels.

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Cuthbert

Agreed.

That's why I like Mary Poppins. My mom used to put it on for me when I was about 4 and when I watched it recently it was the first time I'd seen it since then, and I felt that age again. It gave me feels.

Good film btw.

Oriphiel

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The Batlord

And Hercules gives me the feels that it's a stale, lesser return on the 90s Disney archetype. It's not a bad movie, but compared to its older siblings it's a redheaded stepchild.

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Oriphiel

Nah, it's easily the best. The fact that pussy ass Disney fanboys consider it a black sheep just makes it even cooler.

Anyway, I'm bored, so...

Aladdin: It's okay to love a poor person, as long as they're pretty.

Mulan: Girls are cool, k?

Hunchback: It's okay to love an ugly person, as long as... jk, it's never okay.

Tarzan: Animal haters are assholes, and the magic of Phil Collins makes everything so much worse.

Hercules: No matter how cool or famous you think you are, you ain't shit unless you're willing to kill yourself for some girl who isn't even a princess and might not even like you all that much.

Black Cauldren: Here, eat this mushroom

Snow White and Sleeping Beauty: Basically the same movie. Pretty people rock, ugly people suck.

Cinderella: It's okay to love a poor person, as long as... hey, deja vu.

101 Dalmations: Animal haters are assholes.

Atlantis: Lol

Road to Eldorado: The best Disney movie not made by Disney.

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Frownland

Dumbo: You might be a little weird but at least you an join the circus, you ****ing freak.

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

Oriphiel

Pinocchio: Drugs are bad. Also, you aren't a real person unless you've had to overcome ridiculous, arbitrary encounters.

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The Batlord

Plenty of bad Disney movies, but Hercules is one of their mediocre ones cause it was clearly made to be yet "another Disney movie" after they made a bunch of good ones and were now knee deep in making decent ones. The point isn't the moral, the point is that Disney was now in bland cookie cutter mode after four straight masterpieces (Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and Lion King) and were now sitting on their laurels and pumping movies out one after another.

(And the gargoyles from Hunchback were another form of the Genie schtick btw. They may not have been played by anyone famous afaik, but they were pointlessly modern with that Genie sense of humor in a movie that had no need for them, and it helped to somewhat ruin a movie that might otherwise have been brilliant.)

What made Hercules better than Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, or Lion King?

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Oriphiel

The songs are more bearable than most. The animation style and character designs are fun. The voice acting (esp. Danny Devito) is top notch. The villain is better than most, and tbh way funnier than genie. Hydra head chopping alone instantly raises it above pretty much every other Disney flick. The fact that it wasn't his purty looks, his innate choseness, the guarentee of royal pussy, or a magic thingamabob that made him a hero. It was his badass selflessness, his ability to throw all that crap away and just do the right thing.

In short, it's the best animated Disney movie on every level. And if you disagree, okay. I'll live.

Oh, and...

Beauty and the Beast: Nobody fucks with Gaston. Only Gaston is allowed to kill Gaston. Just like Clayton. Now that I think about it, this is basically just Tarzan without Phil Collins. Oh, and no matter how much he hurts you, broody assholes are actually cool deep down, and only bad women think otherwise.

Little Mermaid: Curiosity will screw you. But as long as you're real pretty, it'll work out anyway.

Lion King: Hamlet + shameless rip off of Kimba.

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The Batlord

The songs are meh but have moments of being legit good. The animation style tries too hard to be angular, and ends up being lame. The voice acting is fine and Danny Devito is... fine. Hades is legit great, but is less a villain than a showcase for how fun James Woods is. I'd agree that in hindsight that Hades is better than Genie since, well, let's be honest once you're over a certain age Robin Williams just isn't that funny (and I'd definitely argue that Aladdin has aged rather badly because of it, but it was at least fresh at the time it came out). But Hades still feels like leftovers because of it.

The hydra part was... okay as a showcase for CG cel animation, but as far as Herc as a hero, he was entirely generic and forgettable. Likable, but not memorable.

Oh hell the **** no. Gaston is by far the most fun of any Disney villain. He's just so delightfully vain and moronic that it makes him somehow more inhuman as a villain so long as you're not bent on taking him too seriously. His villain song is not about making him seem more evil, just more hilariously douchey, and that makes him all the more fun. Not to mention it turns the generic (at the time) Disney hero on its head, by making him too perfect, too handsome, too desirable. So therefore there must be something seriously wrong with him. Seriously, go watch the Gaston villain song again and tell me it isn't one of he best things Disney ever did.

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