Josef K

1. You can buy four items at Walmart or some other store that sells pretty much anything. What would you buy to freak the cash register out?
You know how at Whole Foods they sell terrible CDs that nobody could possibly want by the cash register? Three of those and gift wrap.

2. What's your most embarrassing childhood moment?
I was eating dinner at a friend's house when his dad told a really funny joke and I massively pissed my pants.

3. Do you untie your shoelaces when you take your shoes off? Explain your position and how you feel about the other side. I expect an impassioned debate on this one guys.
No, although since I wear a prosthetic which comes off with the shoe on it I basically only take one shoe off. If I want to get the rubber foot out of the shoe, I have to untie it or it won't get out.

4. What are your least favourite foods? If you're a vegetarian, we ****ing get it. Pick a food that you don't like but adheres to your philosophy.
I'm a vegetarian but I can acknowledge that steak is delicious. I can't stand spicy food though.

5. If you could take a fair amount of any drug (and not die) what would you take? Non-drug users, imagine that the men came and forced you to do drugs. After you do the drugs they leave you alone and you can do as you please so you might as well enjoy it.
I'd get high on life! And by "life" I mean weed.

6. What's the best astronomical event (eclipses, really clear and beautiful nights, I'll even allow stuff like sunsets) that you've witnessed?
I have no idea. Probably watching a sunset while on a long drive.

Exo

1. You can buy four items at Walmart or some other store that sells pretty much anything. What would you buy to freak the cash register out?

Candy. Ski Mask. Where's Waldo book. Rope.

2. What's your most embarrassing childhood moment?

Oh man. I was climbing a huge fence near my house that divided the baseball field and the woods that we played in. I had done it countless times before. This time however, my pants got caught on the sharp part of the chain link and when I went to jump down, I got caught hanging from the literally seat of my pants. Luckily there were like five or six high school girls under the bleachers smoking doobs most likely who heard my screams for help. They helped me down while giggling. It was a wonderful experience.

3. Do you untie your shoelaces when you take your shoes off? Explain your position and how you feel about the other side. I expect an impassioned debate on this one guys.

I don't wear shoes with laces so I'll answer for when I use boots. Of course I tie and untie them. They're f*cking boots.

4. What are your least favourite foods? If you're a vegetarian, we ****ing get it. Pick a food that you don't like but adheres to your philosophy.

Tomatoes, horseradish, mushrooms unless they're in a soup, broccoli, and sauerkraut.

5. If you could take a fair amount of any drug (and not die) what would you take? Non-drug users, imagine that the men came and forced you to do drugs. After you do the drugs they leave you alone and you can do as you please so you might as well enjoy it.

I'm not answering this one for obvious reasons. My view on drugs had changed a bit.

6. What's the best astronomical event (eclipses, really clear and beautiful nights, I'll even allow stuff like sunsets) that you've witnessed?

I was out on Martha's Vineyard a year and a half ago. My buddy had a house on the far end of the island where there weren't many lights or other houses. It was a clear night and I spent about three hours outside in the yard looking up. I've never seen that many stars and I've been in the middle of the ocean when our cruise liner did a blackout star gazing thing for an hour. I spent a lot of time looking at the milky way and I must have seen a hundred shooting stars. It was probably the most visceral experience of my life really.

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Cuthbert

1. You can buy four items at Walmart or some other store that sells pretty much anything. What would you buy to freak the cash register out?

Qur'an and three packs of bacon.

Some great answers posted for this question btw lol'd all the way through.

2. What's your most embarrassing childhood moment?

My dad took me to get my hair cut once when I was about 14, the barber was quite chatty, talking my ears off and asked me about what I did, school and that. I didn't attend school and didn't want to say that so just said I start college soon. When he's done cutting my hair, he asks for the payment and it's a couple of pounds over what it should be, then he explains over 16s are charged full price and I have tried to pay for a kid's hair cut. I don't have the rest of the money so have to walk back over to my dad and ask for more money while explaining that I was basically talking shit in front of everyone.

EDIT - I just saw Ori's answer for this question and I can relate, when my dad bought some clippers and cut my hair for me. School was #pain tbh. I also tried to shave some lines in my eyebrows once and took more hair off than I should have.

3. Do you untie your shoelaces when you take your shoes off? Explain your position and how you feel about the other side. I expect an impassioned debate on this one guys.

In winter I wear boots that require it, but otherwise no as I wear trainers.

4. What are your least favourite foods? If you're a vegetarian, we ****ing get it. Pick a food that you don't like but adheres to your philosophy.

I will eat almost anything but I really don't like avocados, vinegar when it's used as a sauce as it stinks, kidney/liver, Parmesan cheese (same reason as vinegar) and aubergines.

5. If you could take a fair amount of any drug (and not die) what would you take? Non-drug users, imagine that the men came and forced you to do drugs. After you do the drugs they leave you alone and you can do as you please so you might as well enjoy it.

Probably cocaine & alcohol. Had some good nights on other drugs, but I wouldn't want to trip out & cocaine and alcohol is a great mix.

6. What's the best astronomical event (eclipses, really clear and beautiful nights, I'll even allow stuff like sunsets) that you've witnessed?

I saw the eclipse in 1999 which was eerie as fuck, there is another one happening next week which I am looking forward to as I was a child in '99 so will have a better experience this time.

ladyislingering

1. You can buy four items at Walmart or some other store that sells pretty much anything. What would you buy to freak the cash register out?

Cashier, not cash register. There's a person bending to your whim behind that counter.

Anyway.

Zip ties, garbage bags, rope, and a shovel.

2. What's your most embarrassing childhood moment?

My entire childhood was basically just one long-running embarrassment.

3. Do you untie your shoelaces when you take your shoes off? Explain your position and how you feel about the other side. I expect an impassioned debate on this one guys.

I don't care for shoes that have enough material to warrant shoelaces. Gotta be light and quick on my feet, not poking about like a cat with booties on.

4. What are your least favourite foods? If you're a vegetarian, we ****ing get it. Pick a food that you don't like but adheres to your philosophy.

Grapefruit and pomegranate are both terrible. Celery by itself is awful. Recently tried coconut water (it's supposed to be great for hydration after you've been in a ridiculously drunken stupor) and it was repulsive.

5. If you could take a fair amount of any drug (and not die) what would you take? Non-drug users, imagine that the men came and forced you to do drugs. After you do the drugs they leave you alone and you can do as you please so you might as well enjoy it.

I haven't tried LSD yet but I have an aching in my heart for some valium right now.

6. What's the best astronomical event (eclipses, really clear and beautiful nights, I'll even allow stuff like sunsets) that you've witnessed?

I haven't been in the mindset to appreciate things like that in so long that I really have no idea.

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Exo

Says the former and/or current cashier.

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LastFM

SUPREME POO BAH MODERATOR EXTRAORDINAIRE

Frownland

Walmart has self checkout so you could freak out the cash register anyway. It's not like cashiers matter enough to be viewed as an animate object though.

1. You can buy four items at Walmart or some other store that sells pretty much anything. What would you buy to freak the cash register out?

A bunch of goldfish (the animal not the snack), a fishing rod, fishing line, and hooks.

2. What's your most embarrassing childhood moment?

I used to go to this afterschool daycare thing in elementary school while my parents were at work. We would sit in our little rows while the counselors would talk about what we were doing that day. I think we were in trouble or something so we were sitting in silence and I had to fart. I figured it's a tiny one so it'll probably go unnoticed. A deafening anus rattle filled the room and all the kids backed away from me for about a twenty foot radius.

3. Do you untie your shoelaces when you take your shoes off? Explain your position and how you feel about the other side. I expect an impassioned debate on this one guys.

**** no I don't, who's got time for that bull****?

4. What are your least favourite foods? If you're a vegetarian, we ****ing get it. Pick a food that you don't like but adheres to your philosophy.

I hate crustacean shellfish (crab, lobster, shrimp). Molluscs (octopus, mussels, oysters, clams) I'm cool with though. I'm really not the pickiest eater and that's the only thing that comes to mind.

5. If you could take a fair amount of any drug (and not die) what would you take? Non-drug users, imagine that the men came and forced you to do drugs. After you do the drugs they leave you alone and you can do as you please so you might as well enjoy it.

I'd probably do a quarter of mushrooms.

6. What's the best astronomical event (eclipses, really clear and beautiful nights, I'll even allow stuff like sunsets) that you've witnessed?

In 2005 or 2006, I was living in Yosemite when there was a lunar eclipse while the moon was on a perigee. The night was really clear as usual so you could see the milky way and shooting stars and ****, but the moon was just massive. My mom and I sat on our roof and watched as it eclipsed and it turned red once it was fully eclipsed and it was really intense.

I've also seen a green flash watching the sunset at the beach.

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ladyislingering

I don't do that anymore.

I've had to fill in a couple times in the past few months but for the most part I don't have the extreme pain in the ass of having to deal with idiot customers that try to pay a $4 total in pennies and other atrocious acts of retardation. Being a cashier really sucks. You never fully realize how stupid people really are until you have to explain to some moron that their coupon expired 3 years ago, and no, they can't use it.

Cash registers don't give a damn either.

Years ago (2007/8ish) a movie called Ninja Assassin hit our shelves, and the registers at the store I worked in recognized the name of the product as "Ninja Ass".

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Mister Mushroom

1) What was the best concert you have been to?

Sadly, I've been to none. When I was younger I didn't really have an interest in music, and now most of the musicians I listen to either never come to my area or have passed away. I guess it would be a local concert, it was like a bunch of guys covering classic rock. They weren't bad, to be honest.

2) Are you old enough to vote?

Yes. I turned 18 last year. I need to register, though.

3) If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?

I wouldn't have become homeschooled.. I feel like that one decision would
have impacted my life for the better.

4) What is your most prized possession?

That's a toughie. Mostly things that were given to me by people I like. My first guitar (given to me by a friend of the family), my record player, M65 Field jacket (both were my uncle's before he passed away), and more.

5) What has been the highlight of your life so far?

Uh... I don't know, sadly.

6) What are you going to do on your next day off?

Working on building a guitar from scratch as a project. Putting the "frets" on today. Obviously it's not going to be the best guitar, but it's going pretty well so far.

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Frownland

The questions get updated each week, here's the most recent set:

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

Zer0

1. You can buy four items at Walmart or some other store that sells pretty much anything. What would you buy to freak the cash register out?
A large plastic tub, two bottles of sodium hydroxide and a roll of duct tape.

2. What's your most embarrassing childhood moment?
Peeing my pants in school one day. I must have been about five years old.

3. Do you untie your shoelaces when you take your shoes off? Explain your position and how you feel about the other side. I expect an impassioned debate on this one guys.
It depends on what shoes I'm wearing. If I'm wearing chucks then I have no choice but to untie my shoelaces. If I'm wearing trainers then quite often I just slide them off.

4. What are your least favourite foods? If you're a vegetarian, we ****ing get it. Pick a food that you don't like but adheres to your philosophy.
I can't stand a lot of cheeses. Chedder in particular.

5. If you could take a fair amount of any drug (and not die) what would you take? Non-drug users, imagine that the men came and forced you to do drugs. After you do the drugs they leave you alone and you can do as you please so you might as well enjoy it.
Some of the best times I've ever had were on ecstasy, so I'd pop a few of them.

6. What's the best astronomical event (eclipses, really clear and beautiful nights, I'll even allow stuff like sunsets) that you've witnessed?
I clearly remember seeing Hale–Bopp comet in the sky around early 1997. At dusk I could see it very clearly and it looked spectacular. I haven't seen a comet like that since.

Also I've witnessed some really amazing clear nights here, particularly out in the countryside. Some stars can be really bright and others less so, and it gives an almost 3-D effect when you stare up at it all.

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