The Saturday 6-Pack

Trollheart · 01-11-2022, 11:36 AM

On a high hill it stands, dark, mysterious, moody, brooding, frowning down on the tiny village like some loathsome spider squatting in the darkness, eager for prey. Legend says that no man who goes in to that dread structure comes out again. Except on Tuesday night for takeaway; rumour has it the cook is an ex-employee of MacDonalds.

Batlord Castle. The very name inspires fear and dread.

The halls of the mighty edifice shake to his thunderous voice as he stamps along the passageways, rats scurrying to clear his path lest they be stepped on, for verily tis said he is in the mightiest of snits.

"Who's been borrowing my Super Spiderman comics?" he roars, face purple with rage. "They haven't been putting them back in order! I have a ****ing system you bastards!"

Loath to approach the mighty Batlord in one of his rages, a servant nevertheless gasps when she sees the famed Valerian sword from Game of Thrones.

"My Lord!" shrieks she. "You hath removed yon mighty sword from its original packaging! Tis no longer in the condition which they call mint!"

Batlord's eyes narrow for a second, then his face pales, the anger draining from it, to be replaced by dismay.

"My Ebay listings!" he cries, and vanishes down the corridor.

rubber soul · 01-11-2022, 11:55 AM

It almost looks like the Munster's mansion

The Batlord · 01-11-2022, 12:43 PM

You mean it almost looks like not a ****ing castle?

Plankton · 01-12-2022, 01:15 PM

I found this one on Zillow:

Trollheart · 01-12-2022, 01:46 PM

THAT is the most poorly defended castle I have ever seen! Where are the battlements? Where's the moat? There's not even a drawbridge or portcullis! Anyone can walk in, and look at those walls. Easily scaled. The windows are NOT arrow slits and have GLASS in them for the love of God! Glass easily shatters, would never keep invaders out. And the doors look as weak as plywood. No, no, this castle gets a very low rating of 3.5! Easily breached, no defences, totally useless. Bloody whites, huh?

rubber soul · 01-12-2022, 02:43 PM

Yeah, but they defend the castle with raw onions.

Plankton · 01-12-2022, 03:02 PM

It's a paradoxical Trojan Horse. They get inside of you.

Trollheart · 01-12-2022, 08:20 PM

Next you're going to tell me they beef up the defences? Is it possible to ketchup when you're so far behind? And pray, what meaneth this arcane phrase: "do you want fries with that?"

Plankton · 01-13-2022, 04:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

"do you want fries with that?"

...is screamed just before pouring the contents of the deep fryers over the ramparts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

Next you're going to tell me they beef up the defences?

All your plant base belong to us.

Trollheart · 01-13-2022, 05:12 AM

You want

with that?

01-11-2022, 11:36 AM	#10551 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,996	On a high hill it stands, dark, mysterious, moody, brooding, frowning down on the tiny village like some loathsome spider squatting in the darkness, eager for prey. Legend says that no man who goes in to that dread structure comes out again. Except on Tuesday night for takeaway; rumour has it the cook is an ex-employee of MacDonalds. Batlord Castle. The very name inspires fear and dread. The halls of the mighty edifice shake to his thunderous voice as he stamps along the passageways, rats scurrying to clear his path lest they be stepped on, for verily tis said he is in the mightiest of snits. "Who's been borrowing my Super Spiderman comics?" he roars, face purple with rage. "They haven't been putting them back in order! I have a ***ing system you bastards!" Loath to approach the mighty Batlord in one of his rages, a servant nevertheless gasps when she sees the famed Valerian sword from Game of Thrones.* "My Lord!" shrieks she. "You hath removed yon mighty sword from its original packaging! Tis no longer in the condition which they call mint!" Batlord's eyes narrow for a second, then his face pales, the anger draining from it, to be replaced by dismay. "My Ebay listings!" he cries, and vanishes down the corridor. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

01-12-2022, 01:15 PM	#10554 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	I found this one on Zillow: __________________ See location...

01-12-2022, 01:46 PM	#10555 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,996	THAT is the most poorly defended castle I have ever seen! Where are the battlements? Where's the moat? There's not even a drawbridge or portcullis! Anyone can walk in, and look at those walls. Easily scaled. The windows are NOT arrow slits and have GLASS in them for the love of God! Glass easily shatters, would never keep invaders out. And the doors look as weak as plywood. No, no, this castle gets a very low rating of 3.5! Easily breached, no defences, totally useless. Bloody whites, huh? __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

01-12-2022, 03:02 PM	#10557 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	It's a paradoxical Trojan Horse. They get inside of you. __________________ See location...

01-12-2022, 08:20 PM	#10558 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,996	Next you're going to tell me they beef up the defences? Is it possible to ketchup when you're so far behind? And pray, what meaneth this arcane phrase: "do you want fries with that?" __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

01-13-2022, 05:12 AM	#10560 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,996	You want with that? __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018