The Saturday 6-Pack

The Batlord · 01-10-2022, 09:37 PM

I don't think there's any solution to the scary thing besides making castle living a communal thing and just pass out thick blankets and fire wood, which makes a castle even more cozy.

Trollheart · 01-11-2022, 05:32 AM

Yeah but do you really want to shell (sorry) out for all the ammunition for the cannon? And what about the guards? Got to guard your castle against scumbag invaders! Can't have the lowlife populace thinking they can just camp outside your castle and have their ghastly picnics. Then there's the dungeons, jailers, cooks, maids, footmen, butlers, and all those suits of armour to place strategically around the castle so you can pretend they belonged to your ancestors. Whew! Lot of work if you ask me. Give me a council house anyday.

rubber soul · 01-11-2022, 06:22 AM

And beware of giant wooden horses.

Plankton · 01-11-2022, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I assume any place with fake wood paneling smells like cigarettes.

You would assume correctly.

Who's cleaning the castle, btw? Also, wiping with hay doesn't sound very appealing.

Lisnaholic · 01-11-2022, 08:31 AM

Also, original castle-style accomodation was everybody sleeping together in a big smokey communal hall. For the moment, I'm going to call that a mixed blessing, while I work through the various images it conjures up

(I think I'd probably roll out my bed of straw somewhere near Marie Monday, and (no offense) at some distance from you, Batlord

)

Plankton · 01-11-2022, 09:40 AM

Will there be wenches and mead? Cuz I'd be there just for the wenches and mead.

Lisnaholic · 01-11-2022, 09:49 AM

Yes, I'm sure they are standard issue, Plankton, along with all the details Trollheart mentions.

Plankton · 01-11-2022, 09:56 AM

The Batlord · 01-11-2022, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisnaholic

Also, original castle-style accomodation was everybody sleeping together in a big smokey communal hall. For the moment, I'm going to call that a mixed blessing, while I work through the various images it conjures up

(I think I'd probably roll out my bed of straw somewhere near Marie Monday, and (no offense) at some distance from you, Batlord

)

Yeah you don't want to hear those sounds.

Trollheart · 01-11-2022, 11:36 AM

On a high hill it stands, dark, mysterious, moody, brooding, frowning down on the tiny village like some loathsome spider squatting in the darkness, eager for prey. Legend says that no man who goes in to that dread structure comes out again. Except on Tuesday night for takeaway; rumour has it the cook is an ex-employee of MacDonalds.

Batlord Castle. The very name inspires fear and dread.

The halls of the mighty edifice shake to his thunderous voice as he stamps along the passageways, rats scurrying to clear his path lest they be stepped on, for verily tis said he is in the mightiest of snits.

"Who's been borrowing my Super Spiderman comics?" he roars, face purple with rage. "They haven't been putting them back in order! I have a ****ing system you bastards!"

Loath to approach the mighty Batlord in one of his rages, a servant nevertheless gasps when she sees the famed Valerian sword from Game of Thrones.

"My Lord!" shrieks she. "You hath removed yon mighty sword from its original packaging! Tis no longer in the condition which they call mint!"

Batlord's eyes narrow for a second, then his face pales, the anger draining from it, to be replaced by dismay.

"My Ebay listings!" he cries, and vanishes down the corridor.

01-11-2022, 05:32 AM	#10532 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,996	Yeah but do you really want to shell (sorry) out for all the ammunition for the cannon? And what about the guards? Got to guard your castle against scumbag invaders! Can't have the lowlife populace thinking they can just camp outside your castle and have their ghastly picnics. Then there's the dungeons, jailers, cooks, maids, footmen, butlers, and all those suits of armour to place strategically around the castle so you can pretend they belonged to your ancestors. Whew! Lot of work if you ask me. Give me a council house anyday. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

01-11-2022, 08:31 AM	#10535 (permalink)
Lisnaholic ...here to hear... Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: He lives on Love Street Posts: 4,444	Also, original castle-style accomodation was everybody sleeping together in a big smokey communal hall. For the moment, I'm going to call that a mixed blessing, while I work through the various images it conjures up (I think I'd probably roll out my bed of straw somewhere near Marie Monday, and (no offense) at some distance from you, Batlord ) __________________ "Am I enjoying this moment? I know of it and perhaps that is enough." - Sybille Bedford, 1953 Last edited by Lisnaholic; 01-11-2022 at 08:40 AM.

01-11-2022, 09:40 AM	#10536 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	Will there be wenches and mead? Cuz I'd be there just for the wenches and mead. __________________ See location...

01-11-2022, 09:49 AM	#10537 (permalink)
Lisnaholic ...here to hear... Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: He lives on Love Street Posts: 4,444	Yes, I'm sure they are standard issue, Plankton, along with all the details Trollheart mentions. __________________ "Am I enjoying this moment? I know of it and perhaps that is enough." - Sybille Bedford, 1953

01-11-2022, 09:56 AM	#10538 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	__________________ See location...

01-11-2022, 11:36 AM	#10540 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,996	On a high hill it stands, dark, mysterious, moody, brooding, frowning down on the tiny village like some loathsome spider squatting in the darkness, eager for prey. Legend says that no man who goes in to that dread structure comes out again. Except on Tuesday night for takeaway; rumour has it the cook is an ex-employee of MacDonalds. Batlord Castle. The very name inspires fear and dread. The halls of the mighty edifice shake to his thunderous voice as he stamps along the passageways, rats scurrying to clear his path lest they be stepped on, for verily tis said he is in the mightiest of snits. "Who's been borrowing my Super Spiderman comics?" he roars, face purple with rage. "They haven't been putting them back in order! I have a ***ing system you bastards!" Loath to approach the mighty Batlord in one of his rages, a servant nevertheless gasps when she sees the famed Valerian sword from Game of Thrones.* "My Lord!" shrieks she. "You hath removed yon mighty sword from its original packaging! Tis no longer in the condition which they call mint!" Batlord's eyes narrow for a second, then his face pales, the anger draining from it, to be replaced by dismay. "My Ebay listings!" he cries, and vanishes down the corridor. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018