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Old 11-24-2008, 05:41 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shiseido_red View Post
I always get emails from amateur spammers. With really bad English and spelling mistakes and typos, like this:

From: Ritell Alves
Subject: uncrumple
Message: Hallo,

Are you a frequennt visitor of retaiil softwaare stores?
We know what you’re overppaying for:
- box manuffacturing
- CD
- salesperrson salary
- Rennt of shop sspace

- Year-too-year increassing taxes in your counntry

Well, what for ?! You’re able to ddownload everythiing legally NOW! Fabulouus range of softwaare and LOW prices will make you smile and save your money! Welcome to http://www.xxxx.xxx

That's to get around the spam filters.
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Old 02-05-2008, 02:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
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and here's my reply to the latest email...

Quote:
Hello Mr Claims Department (or is that mrs or miss or ms , what is your name anyway?)

I am so delighted to see that my details are correct , i'm telling you i'm so excited I could shit.
I am a little confused though , what is this application form I need and why does it cost $155?
Is paper really in such short supply there? I could get you a good discount on a block of 1000 sheets of A4 if you need it that badly. I'll give it to you for nothing if you like after all I am about to get 200,000 smackeroonies.

Are you sure you couldn't find me a cheaper one? I don't mind if it's a bit dog eared or has coffee rings on it.

As for receiving my prize would it be at all possible for a friend or relative to pick it up on my behalf ?

I have a good friend who lives in Oz called Harold Bishop who married my sister's cousins mother in law. I spoke to him about my good fortune. I told him that you are based in Somewherevule , and he tells me that he only lives 45 minutes drive away from there and could get there no trouble at all. I could quite easily get in touch with my solicitors Messrs Peter , Bjorn & John Associates to sort out all the paperwork & legal documentation to make this happen.

Anyway if this isn't possible please get in touch with me and let me know how else it is possible to claim my prize.

May the seed of loins grow fruitful in the belly of your woman

Jeremy xx
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Old 11-24-2008, 01:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
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May the seed of loins grow fruitful in the belly of your woman
I LOL'd sooooo hard when I read that
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Old 11-24-2008, 05:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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These guys want me to have big breasts, a big penis and perfect vision. They are so generous.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfred View Post
I'd rather my face reek of women's body parts than of comic book ink and dirty NES cartridges.
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Old 11-24-2008, 05:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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And then of course there's the banker who had a billionaire client who tragically died. No heirs. Left a fortune of an account that nobody in the bank knows about (geez). And you are the next best thing they could think of getting the money out of the bank. An oh.. it's somewhere in Nigeria.
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Old 11-24-2008, 05:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I keep getting an email that says "Big Black People Meet". I'm too afraid to open it...
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Old 11-24-2008, 05:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Maybe it's a Steve Albini fan club convention trying to recruit new members.
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Old 11-24-2008, 06:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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If they were a legit business wouldn't they have a business email address and not a yahoo address lol? People are so dumb, they can't even scam people well.
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