Marilyn Manson's Guide to G@yness (album, Judas Priest, Kiss, The Cure) - Music Banter Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Community Center > The Lounge
Register Blogging Today's Posts
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-04-2007, 03:26 AM   #1 (permalink)
Bitchfarmer
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Between the minarettes, down the Casbah way.
Posts: 983
Default Marilyn Manson's Guide to G@yness

So, I've got this Manson book that I've had for ages and I just remembered about this bit. He has a big list of things that he says "If you meet any of the qualifications below, you are g@y." So here goes (there's 39 of them)

1. If you get someone else's sperm on you.

2.If you've ever owned a Smiths album.

3.If you get hard while sucking another guy's d!ck. If you don't, you're straight - unless he gets sperm on you.

4.If Michael Stipe is in the room and you're having sex with a woman, you're bisexual.

5.If you're at a g@y bar, you're not g@y. But if you're at a straight bar and you talk to another guy longer than you talk to a girl, you're g@y.

6.If you tap your feet to a Smiths song.

7.If you discuss art for more than 45 minutes.

8.If you've ever worn a beret.

9.If you kiss a guy and he has a hard on, you're not g@y unless you have a hard on too.

10.If you have any kind of sex - with a male of female - to the Smiths, you're g@y.

11.If your only purpose in life is to get girls pregnant so they can have more girls to have lebian sex together.

12.If you jack off and you get *** on yourself.

13.If you get a boner watching Gilligan's Island.

14.If you don't get a boner watching Bewitched.

15.If there's a Smiths song on in a bar and you're in the bathroom with your d!ck in your hands.

16.If your name is Richard and you go by D!ck.

17.If you're friends with anyone named D!ck.

18.If you don't cheat on your wife, you're only using her as a prop to make people think you're not g@y.

19.If you're friends with a model.

20.If you fu*k a girl who likes the Smiths.

21.If you don't eat meat because the Smiths "Meat is Murder" album had an impact on your life.

22. If you do anything "spiritual"

23.If you fu*k a pregnant woman and she's carrying a boy, you're g@y. If you get sperm on the amnoitic sac, the baby will grow up to be g@y too.

24.If you've ever had a haircut like Morrissey.

25.If you've ever had a haircut while a Morrissey or Smiths album were playing in the room.

26.If you've ever talked about or owned a crystal - especially if it's crystal meth.

27.If you've ever put band aids on your nipples as a fashion statement.

28.If you've ever spent more than a week on south beach.

29.If you're not thinking about tits right now.

30.If you still liked Judas Priest after you heard the rumour that Rob Halford was g@y.

31.If you get a hard on while taking a sh!t.

32.If you know what sperm tastes like (especially if it's your own).

33.If you kiss a girl with tongue after she's swallowed your ***.

34.If you get hard while reading this.

35.If you know the names of anyone who's ever been in the Smiths besides Morrissey and Johnny Marr.

36.If you're a male model.

37.If you get choked up listening to "Boys don't cry" by the Cure.

38.If you're a clothing designer.

39.If your first, last, middle or only name is Morrissey.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Yup.

Because I chose to play the fool in a six-piece band,
First-night nerves every one-night stand.
I should be glad to be so inclined.
What a waste! What a waste!
But I don't mind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crowquill View Post
Nirvana pisses over David Bowie and Nirvana isn't even that good.
Frances is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2007, 07:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
They call me Tundra Boy
 
DontRunMeOver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In your linen cupboard.
Posts: 1,166
Default

I love number 23.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katyppfan View Post
When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
DontRunMeOver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2007, 09:05 AM   #3 (permalink)
The Wetter The Better!!
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: SH1TTY London Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,504
Default

This list is completely ignorant and false, with the exception of the ones about The Smiths and Morrissey
MURDER JUNKIE is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2007, 10:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
awamba
 
chumb's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 133
Default

Brought a smile to my face.
chumb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2007, 02:26 PM   #5 (permalink)
Music Addict
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 39
Default

so funny. manson is wonderful.
__________________
If you could only see the pain that hides behind these eyes.
berv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2007, 02:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
n/a
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 990
Default

8.If you've ever worn a beret.


Samuel .L. Jackson is not ***
pheurton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-04-2007, 08:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
Bitchfarmer
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Between the minarettes, down the Casbah way.
Posts: 983
Default

He also has a list of: How to know if you're a drug addict and how to know if you're cheating on your partner. They have some gems too.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Yup.

Because I chose to play the fool in a six-piece band,
First-night nerves every one-night stand.
I should be glad to be so inclined.
What a waste! What a waste!
But I don't mind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crowquill View Post
Nirvana pisses over David Bowie and Nirvana isn't even that good.
Frances is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2007, 02:07 AM   #8 (permalink)
To The Bat Cave!
 
just for kicks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 163
Default

he is such a f*uckhead
just for kicks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2007, 04:42 AM   #9 (permalink)
Dr. Prunk
 
boo boo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Where the buffalo roam.
Posts: 12,137
Default

2, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 30, 31, 34 and 35 are all yes. And possibly 1 since I've sat on many public restoom toilets. Yep, I'm a g@y alright.
__________________
It's only knock n' knowall, but I like it

http://www.last.fm/user/kingboobs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Strummer521
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crowquill View Post
I only listen to Santana when I feel like being annoyed.
I only listen to you talk when I want to hear Emo performed acapella.
boo boo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-05-2007, 12:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
The Sexual Intellectual
 
Urban Hat€monger ?'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Somewhere cooler than you
Posts: 18,605
Default

I notice he doesn't say a thing about wearing make up.
__________________



Urb's RYM Stuff

Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.
Urban Hat€monger ? is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Similar Threads



© 2003-2024 Advameg, Inc.