Marilyn Manson's Guide to G@yness
 

So, I've got this Manson book that I've had for ages and I just remembered about this bit. He has a big list of things that he says "If you meet any of the qualifications below, you are g@y." So here goes (there's 39 of them)

1. If you get someone else's sperm on you.

2.If you've ever owned a Smiths album.

3.If you get hard while sucking another guy's d!ck. If you don't, you're straight - unless he gets sperm on you.

4.If Michael Stipe is in the room and you're having sex with a woman, you're bisexual.

5.If you're at a g@y bar, you're not g@y. But if you're at a straight bar and you talk to another guy longer than you talk to a girl, you're g@y.

6.If you tap your feet to a Smiths song.

7.If you discuss art for more than 45 minutes.

8.If you've ever worn a beret.

9.If you kiss a guy and he has a hard on, you're not g@y unless you have a hard on too.

10.If you have any kind of sex - with a male of female - to the Smiths, you're g@y.

11.If your only purpose in life is to get girls pregnant so they can have more girls to have lebian sex together.

12.If you jack off and you get *** on yourself.

13.If you get a boner watching Gilligan's Island.

14.If you don't get a boner watching Bewitched.

15.If there's a Smiths song on in a bar and you're in the bathroom with your d!ck in your hands.

16.If your name is Richard and you go by D!ck.

17.If you're friends with anyone named D!ck.

18.If you don't cheat on your wife, you're only using her as a prop to make people think you're not g@y.

19.If you're friends with a model.

20.If you fu*k a girl who likes the Smiths.

21.If you don't eat meat because the Smiths "Meat is Murder" album had an impact on your life.

22. If you do anything "spiritual"

23.If you fu*k a pregnant woman and she's carrying a boy, you're g@y. If you get sperm on the amnoitic sac, the baby will grow up to be g@y too.

24.If you've ever had a haircut like Morrissey.

25.If you've ever had a haircut while a Morrissey or Smiths album were playing in the room.

26.If you've ever talked about or owned a crystal - especially if it's crystal meth.

27.If you've ever put band aids on your nipples as a fashion statement.

28.If you've ever spent more than a week on south beach.

29.If you're not thinking about tits right now.

30.If you still liked Judas Priest after you heard the rumour that Rob Halford was g@y.

31.If you get a hard on while taking a sh!t.

32.If you know what sperm tastes like (especially if it's your own).

33.If you kiss a girl with tongue after she's swallowed your ***.

34.If you get hard while reading this.

35.If you know the names of anyone who's ever been in the Smiths besides Morrissey and Johnny Marr.

36.If you're a male model.

37.If you get choked up listening to "Boys don't cry" by the Cure.

38.If you're a clothing designer.

39.If your first, last, middle or only name is Morrissey.

I love number 23.

This list is completely ignorant and false, with the exception of the ones about The Smiths and Morrissey :D

Brought a smile to my face.

so funny. manson is wonderful. :)

8.If you've ever worn a beret.


Samuel .L. Jackson is not *** :(

He also has a list of: How to know if you're a drug addict and how to know if you're cheating on your partner. They have some gems too.

he is such a f*uckhead

2, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 30, 31, 34 and 35 are all yes. And possibly 1 since I've sat on many public restoom toilets. Yep, I'm a g@y alright.

I notice he doesn't say a thing about wearing make up.

#40. If you read Marilyn Manson's Guide to ***ness, then you're definately ***.

Man's such a ****. Argh, even though it was s'posed to be funny, it still irritates the hell out of me.

Ahhhhh, the good old manson effect. There's always someone who hates him. Perhaps that's one of the things I like most about him.

What about the fake boobs?

or the whole, getting the bottom 2 ribs removed for easier access to down below...

or mabey some kid at school just made that up >.>

I heard that a long while ago. I think its bull****. I'm no fan of Manson, but still.

Honestly that wasn't very funny that all, and manson is a complete ****.

Hahaha "everybody's someone elses ******, I know you are so am I" - Manson.
There's always a hater. Woohoo!

I don't care for people who are only successful because they're 'controversial' and don't offer anything musically other than shitty nu-metal industrial crap, go jack off to Antichrist Superstar.

/awaits you going LOLZ MANSON HATER AGAIN until I quit replying

It should be established though that even though I don't like Marilyn Mansons music, I still prefer him to the other MM. :)

I don't like Marilyn Manson either, I still thought it was a funny list.

I giggled a few times. But I never really cared for him. He just shocks for the fun of shocking.

...It makes him tonnes of money though.

i liked manson when he was on fox news-bill oreilly show.

pretty interesting clip, plus manson pwnd oreilly