The who gives a f*ck thread

Sneer · 11-22-2011, 08:16 PM

My driving license split in half whilst I was out... And would you believe it, the barmaid at the pub I entered asks for ID, the first time this has happened to me in about a year.

Upon concluding that she was quite hot, and considering the state of my license, I made the seemingly misinformed decision that the situation called for a joke. So I gave her one half of said ID and, with my head turned to the side, quipped, 'that's my good side'. As soon as those words left my mouth, I had the sudden realisation that the 'joke' just wasn't funny. I wasn't even drunk. Madness.

She gave me a look that succinctly communicated without the need for words her opinion on my attempt at humour, and I can tell you it wasn't flattering. An awkward silence ensued, mostly on my part, and after collecting the pint that apparently took 8 years to be poured, went and joined my sniggering friends (who had heard/seen everything)... The idea of myself as this witty, engaging individual in flames.

Heed my words, a broken driving license is not a laughing matter.

Howard the Duck · 11-22-2011, 09:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pedestrian

And online tests are extremely mixed in their results. I have no idea what my IQ is, because over the years and tests I've done online I've received scores anywhere from 115 to 145.

all the IQ tests i've done range from 80 to 90 so I guess I'm a retard

Quote:

Originally Posted by mankycaaant

I spent half an hour trying to open a tin of tuna today.

i spend hours trying to unwrap my cigarette packets

Salami · 11-22-2011, 11:32 PM

What can really annoy me is when some kid tells me he took an IQ test comprising of about four questions and says that he's got a higher IQ than Steven Hawking. Yeah, he's totally going to be more intelligent than him. This is why I think that they can be so deceptive and don't really indicate how intelligent that person is.

~~Odyshape~~ · 11-23-2011, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paloma

Am I offended? Not really, I think it's hilarious and sad.

Also, you concede, therefore I am superior.

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

Paloma wins RIOOOOT GRRRRLLLL

Quote:

Originally Posted by Il Duce

all the IQ tests i've done range from 80 to 90 so I guess I'm a retard

i spend hours trying to unwrap my cigarette packets

Me too

don't think it means all that much. In the end its more effort than anything else that determines success.

Salami · 11-23-2011, 04:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odyshape

Paloma wins RIOOOOT GRRRRLLLL

There only was ever going to be one outcome. He was fighting against his intellectual superior.

s_k · 11-23-2011, 09:46 AM

Just went to the shops.
Got an onboard camera, so I have footage anyhow.
Not much happened on this ride, but I still got some footage.
And err... well here:

You sometimes wonder what... no, I mean, IF people are thinking and if people are paying attention to their surroundings at all. Strange.

Salami · 11-23-2011, 09:50 AM

You must know the drill by now. Get out the camera, capture some careless drivers on film, post it here and I'll head over and thumb it up for you!!! I'll be back in a moment...

s_k · 11-23-2011, 09:58 AM

Hahaha, I'm sure there's some people who think 'who gives a ****!'.
But that's why I post it here.
Don't thumb up if you think it's boring. This one isn't particularly interesting

.
Hope to see some more action this winter. There's some really, really stupid drivers out here when there's a little bit of snow on the road... People just don't get it...
Stay of the brakes, easy on the throttle and for ****s sake look aheaaaaad.
You won't believe how many times someone decided 'oh that guy is still far away, I can cross the road'. They slam down the throttle, keep spinning and slowly get onto the road. Where I have to break. And I cannot break, because I'm on ice.
Some people are lucky I know how to handle a car on slippery roads because dayum... I prevented quite some accidents last two winters

Which were great by the way.
Look at it:

Salami · 11-23-2011, 10:10 AM

I thumb them up because I think they are hilarious!!!

Here in England, we've had some great laughs over snow. The farmer who lives next door has a catterpillar tractor which he uses to help us out when we get huge snowfall, but being a lazy man he won't get up until about 10:30. Hence, we get the amusement of watching the wealthy and the keen residents of our village slide around everywhere (the hills often have a 20% gradient) as they try and negotiate their way through drifts for a good few hours. I'll post some videos if anything really funny happens this year.

s_k · 11-23-2011, 10:48 AM

The Netherlands don't do hills, haha.
You might want to put a webcam to your window and install some software that keeps looping three hours of video or something. Used to have something like that, really practical

11-22-2011, 08:16 PM	#371 (permalink)
Sneer Let it drip Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 5,430	My driving license split in half whilst I was out... And would you believe it, the barmaid at the pub I entered asks for ID, the first time this has happened to me in about a year. Upon concluding that she was quite hot, and considering the state of my license, I made the seemingly misinformed decision that the situation called for a joke. So I gave her one half of said ID and, with my head turned to the side, quipped, 'that's my good side'. As soon as those words left my mouth, I had the sudden realisation that the 'joke' just wasn't funny. I wasn't even drunk. Madness. She gave me a look that succinctly communicated without the need for words her opinion on my attempt at humour, and I can tell you it wasn't flattering. An awkward silence ensued, mostly on my part, and after collecting the pint that apparently took 8 years to be poured, went and joined my sniggering friends (who had heard/seen everything)... The idea of myself as this witty, engaging individual in flames. Heed my words, a broken driving license is not a laughing matter. __________________ LastFM Sneer's Emporium of Sound Fright Team radio show

11-23-2011, 09:46 AM	#376 (permalink)
s_k Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 2,206	Just went to the shops. Got an onboard camera, so I have footage anyhow. Not much happened on this ride, but I still got some footage. And err... well here: You sometimes wonder what... no, I mean, IF people are thinking and if people are paying attention to their surroundings at all. Strange. __________________ Click here to see my collection

11-23-2011, 09:58 AM	#378 (permalink)
s_k Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 2,206	Hahaha, I'm sure there's some people who think 'who gives a **!'. But that's why I post it here. Don't thumb up if you think it's boring. This one isn't particularly interesting . Hope to see some more action this winter. There's some really, really stupid drivers out here when there's a little bit of snow on the road... People just don't get it... Stay of the brakes, easy on the throttle and for **s sake look aheaaaaad. You won't believe how many times someone decided 'oh that guy is still far away, I can cross the road'. They slam down the throttle, keep spinning and slowly get onto the road. Where I have to break. And I cannot break, because I'm on ice. Some people are lucky I know how to handle a car on slippery roads because dayum... I prevented quite some accidents last two winters Which were great by the way. Look at it: __________________ Click here to see my collection

11-23-2011, 10:48 AM	#380 (permalink)
s_k Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 2,206	The Netherlands don't do hills, haha. You might want to put a webcam to your window and install some software that keeps looping three hours of video or something. Used to have something like that, really practical __________________ Click here to see my collection

11-22-2011, 11:32 PM	#373 (permalink)
Salami Get in ma belly Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Derbyshire Posts: 1,385	What can really annoy me is when some kid tells me he took an IQ test comprising of about four questions and says that he's got a higher IQ than Steven Hawking. Yeah, he's totally going to be more intelligent than him. This is why I think that they can be so deceptive and don't really indicate how intelligent that person is.

11-23-2011, 09:50 AM	#377 (permalink)
Salami Get in ma belly Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Derbyshire Posts: 1,385	You must know the drill by now. Get out the camera, capture some careless drivers on film, post it here and I'll head over and thumb it up for you!!! I'll be back in a moment...

11-23-2011, 10:10 AM	#379 (permalink)
Salami Get in ma belly Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Derbyshire Posts: 1,385	I thumb them up because I think they are hilarious!!! Here in England, we've had some great laughs over snow. The farmer who lives next door has a catterpillar tractor which he uses to help us out when we get huge snowfall, but being a lazy man he won't get up until about 10:30. Hence, we get the amusement of watching the wealthy and the keen residents of our village slide around everywhere (the hills often have a 20% gradient) as they try and negotiate their way through drifts for a good few hours. I'll post some videos if anything really funny happens this year.