skindredluver

Nice that would be funny.One time at school my firend and me were leaning on the wall with are chairs and rocking back and forth.Then my friends chair slipped and she fell back and hit her head really hard.its was so funny.

tdoc210

i ****ed my mother inlaw

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We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that.

skindredluver

Ok thats really nasty.Why would you do that hummmm??????

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Let them live in the stillness and know the flame. They will loose all and give all..

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to look at but not so bright

Coffee, chocolate and men, some things are just better rich

~nutshell~

ok, the funniest thing......


I'll have say it was this time:

My friend and I are hitchhiking on the highway, having ingested some illegal substances and we stick Out our thumbs and are psyched when a car pulls over only to realize that it's f*cking cop car!! So he picks us up, asks us where our car is (what car??) and we tell him we don't have one. So he turns around and drops us off right where we had started from at a gas station. he gave us tickets for "reckless use of the highway by a pedestrian" we gave him false names and addresses but like 6 months later I got a call form the cops in that town Oh, and we made it pretty far- very dangerous, hitchhiking- don't try it at home!!

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Just not enough.
I need more.
Nothing seems to satisfy.
I said, I don't want it.
I just need it.
To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.

tdoc210

i was jk... >..>

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We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that.

under

my god.......u just make me laugh sometimes

Anyway

The funniest thing that happened to me was when I was doing a presentation for school, I first trip over my OWN foot making myself look like a fool, attempt to get up and hit my head on the bottom of a table, than I find my shoelaces untied and I try to tie them while standing and....kerpunk...I fall....

[MERIT]

In my spanish class:
fat guy: *jump roping to the tune of a spanish rhyme*
me: "dude, you dropped something."
fat guy: "oh, what was it?"
me: "..................your dignity."



I also made a habit of doing class presentations with my tallywhacker hanging out, just to see if the teacher would say anything, then I'd be like "Why the hell are you staring at my crotch Mr. Williams?! Are you a pedophile or something?!"



One time like back in 7th grade 2 kids got in a "fight." One kid got kicked in the nuts and then actually stuffed in a locker. The other kid put a padlock on it and he was stuck in there for like 3 hours until the janitor could find some boltcutters.

jibber

no it's not, hitchiking is sweet, at least in small ski towns i've got some decent hitchiking stories, french canadian couple almost killed me spinning out after trying to overtake a campervan around an icy corner; smoked up with some aussie guys giving me a lift down from the mountain (including the driver); had some beers with a friend and two british british guys in the back of their rented campervan while their mom drove us down the mountain; buddy of mine paid a guy forgas money with some weed, but they're not all that great.

halloween this year, two of the guys in my hostel are going as pedophiles, one is gonna strap a doll around his waist so it's arms are sround his hips and it looks like it's sucking him off all night. so we're all in the salvation army store looking for costume stuff, and this nice little old woman has been having a great time heping all of us look for completely rediculous stuff (and tactfully, we kept the pedophile thing quiet, didnt seem like her kind of joke). So clay (one of the pedophiles) holds up an old pair of silk boxers and asks me what i think. At this point, the lovely little old woman walks up behind clay, and I point out that the crotch doesnt button up anymore, so he's gonna be hanging out all night, which probably is not what he'd be looking for. Little old lady standing right behind him, clay replies with "Well that's alright, i mean the kid's face is gonna be stuck there all night anyways"

never seen a little old woman looked so horrified in my life

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What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

Skid Mark

I was telling a story in the school yard, i flicked my wrist to explain something.. at that moment a bird crapped on my hand. i got laughed at for ages. then my mate did a little impression of what i looked like, and when he flicked his wrist to make fun of me a bird crapped on HIS hand... how's that for karma?

Alo

There was a forestfire once. And airplanes were scooping water out of a lake so they could put the fire out. Me and a friend didn't realize this, and went swimming. A plane then came down RIGHT in our direction... And we were kind of puzzled why it would do that, so all we did was wave. It pulled back up in time, and we were only mad that the planedriver hadn't waved back. A baywatch-boat then came to pick us up, and it was there we heard that we had been lucky we weren't in a plane's trunk, drowning.

I can't believe how ignorant we were! I love telling this story.

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I rocked my shoelaces untied