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06-26-2006, 03:35 PM | #1581 (permalink) | |
Full-Time Hellion
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 1,531
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Quote:
i just made sprite soda come outta my nose. thanks. I needed a good laugh
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A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche |
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06-26-2006, 03:40 PM | #1582 (permalink) |
that's my war face.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,418
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Here you have it folks, the hobojesus scripture...
At the beginning of time, there was nothing. Complete emptiness. There wasn't even emptiness actually-it was THAT empty. Luckily, the universe became slightly bored with being that empty, so it decided to create a playmate... and it named that playmate 'hobojesus.' hobojesus was bred to be the perfect companion. He had incredibly high intelligence (ahem), an instant likeability (double ahem) and was an all around nice chap (triple ahem). Unfortunately, the universe had none of these qualities, as it was still blank and empty. So hobojesus became extremely bored extremely quickly, floating around in emptiness all by himself... and this extreme boredom lead to the most important thought in the world. That thought was-'wouldn't this place be better if I could have someone to talk to?' So hobojesus created himself a friend, out of thin air because he's cool like that. hobojesus modelled this friend on him, only half as good though so he wouldn't develop a superiority complex. Unfortunately, the friendship between hobojesus and his creation didn't blossom, so hobojesus had to think up a way to spice things up again. So he decided to create another friend... then when that never worked out another one....then another.... then another.... Eventually he was tired of creating friends to find out which one he suited. So he decided to make a creation totally opposite to the ones he had already created, one more complex and thoroughly built than the others. So hobojesus created 'woman', and 'woman's sole purpose was to give further creation. Eventually more women were born, more men were born and so on and so on until everyone floating around in the universe would bump into each other! hobojesus recognised the uncomfiness and created Earth, a place where all the people could continue the reproduction of Earth. He then built upon Earth, and the universe itself, until he felt it was now out of his control and mankind was fine on its own. However, now the world is in an apocolyptic state. There is hatred running rife and the time has come for hobojesus to come to Earth from his eternity floating in space and save us all, recreating mankind to his desire. Pledge £100.00 to the hobojesus society today and you are guaranteed to not be recreated. Remember kids, money buys you faith! |
06-26-2006, 03:44 PM | #1583 (permalink) |
Full-Time Hellion
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 1,531
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dude, that is funny as hell. Oh man. I'm gonna show this my friend. I think bust a gut or something and you created woman. surperiorty complex. Christ. . You just made god smile. Well that's an interesting look on things
__________________
A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche |
06-27-2006, 03:25 AM | #1587 (permalink) |
The Wetter The Better!!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: SH1TTY London Ontario Canada
Posts: 2,504
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I already outlined my religion in this thread
http://www.musicbanter.com/search.php?searchid=324775 I am just having trouble getting the language correct on the paperwork so that I can recieve the proper taxbreaks |
06-27-2006, 04:49 AM | #1588 (permalink) | |
Account Disabled
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 7
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Quote:
Okay now for an actual argument; you said something about the Big Bang theory being as far fetched as God creating the Universe. But the real issue here is that Science has several theories for the creation of the universe, all of which try its best to rely on scientific principles in accordance with quantum theories and chaotic unknowns giving the best reasonable guess to unknowns, like solving equations with several unknowns and no clear solution. And what does Religion do? It conjures up a fantasy story with absolutely no proof whatsoever to back up its claims which is just like saying Santa Claus or The Easter Bunny are real. If you believe that God created the universe, then it stands to reason that you should believe that Jesus (God) healed the deaf and blind, and had the ability to walk on water. So my concluding question is this: how can someone with even average or below average intelligence come to the conclusion that it is just as likely for a flat-out fictional happening to take place over a scientific anomaly? PS: I have read most of the Bible. |
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