The Aristocrats (talent)

Laces Out Dan! · 08-02-2006, 02:53 AM

Ok..everyone tell their own versions of this joke..

Heres mine..

A man walks into a talent agent's office and says, "We're a family act and we'd like you to represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts."

The man says, "But this is really special. Just give us two minutes."

The agent says, "Okay, well, what's the act?"

"Well it starts off with me taking a shi.t into my wife's bleeding vagina while my daughter and son are vomitting down eachother's throats. I punch my fist up my daughter's as.s and make her pee in my wife's mouth..my wife spits out the urine so i shoot her in the face. My son and I then start fuc.king the hole in her face. We're both about to blow our loads, so i grab my daughter and punch her in the back of the skull and knock her unconcious..while she is laying lifeless on the ground my son and i blow our loads into her ears and proceed to kick the shi.t out of her until she is actually dead."

The agent just sits there with a look of amazement on his face and asks "What do you call this act?"

The man proceeds to say "The Aristocrats"

Ok now post your guys's

MoonlitSunshine · 08-02-2006, 08:26 AM

that's the one I know...

Laces Out Dan! · 08-02-2006, 03:01 PM

You know that one?...i just made it up..thats how the aristocrats jokes go

MoonlitSunshine · 08-02-2006, 05:32 PM

Well, it's insanely close to one that my friend told me last sunday, and I know that's how it goes. Although as far as I'm aware it has to contain sexual abuse violence and all sorts of obscenities as well.

Laces Out Dan! · 08-02-2006, 05:42 PM

yes

08-02-2006, 02:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
Laces Out Dan! I love Puck Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,614	The Aristocrats Ok..everyone tell their own versions of this joke.. Heres mine.. A man walks into a talent agent's office and says, "We're a family act and we'd like you to represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts." The man says, "But this is really special. Just give us two minutes." The agent says, "Okay, well, what's the act?" "Well it starts off with me taking a shi.t into my wife's bleeding vagina while my daughter and son are vomitting down eachother's throats. I punch my fist up my daughter's as.s and make her pee in my wife's mouth..my wife spits out the urine so i shoot her in the face. My son and I then start fuc.king the hole in her face. We're both about to blow our loads, so i grab my daughter and punch her in the back of the skull and knock her unconcious..while she is laying lifeless on the ground my son and i blow our loads into her ears and proceed to kick the shi.t out of her until she is actually dead." The agent just sits there with a look of amazement on his face and asks "What do you call this act?" The man proceeds to say "The Aristocrats" Ok now post your guys's __________________ We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.

08-02-2006, 08:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
MoonlitSunshine Dat's Der Bunny! Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Ireland Posts: 1,088	that's the one I know... __________________ "I found it eventually, at the bottom of a locker in a disused laboratory, with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard". Ever thought of going into Advertising?" - Arthur Dent

08-02-2006, 03:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
Laces Out Dan! I love Puck Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,614	You know that one?...i just made it up..thats how the aristocrats jokes go __________________ We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.

08-02-2006, 05:32 PM	#4 (permalink)
MoonlitSunshine Dat's Der Bunny! Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Ireland Posts: 1,088	Well, it's insanely close to one that my friend told me last sunday, and I know that's how it goes. Although as far as I'm aware it has to contain sexual abuse violence and all sorts of obscenities as well. __________________ "I found it eventually, at the bottom of a locker in a disused laboratory, with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard". Ever thought of going into Advertising?" - Arthur Dent

08-02-2006, 05:42 PM	#5 (permalink)
Laces Out Dan! I love Puck Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,614	yes __________________ We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.