dont wear makeup into a punk show :( well for boys a suppose

i recommend you spell experience right. tee hee!

don't fight people.

especially people with swollen, deformed ears...

that really happened to you? :O :(
oh man did you get a fake tooth??

Don't get off with your best friend's girlfriend.

Don't start fights when stoned. Laughing is not a sensible form of self-defense.

Don't go swimming in tropical water if its neither:
a) Completely clear and therefore easy to see other things swimming with you.
b) 'Dead' so that there can't be anything else in there.

Don't wink at women in other countries, it can mean all kinds of things.

Don't try to drive across a country without a map or good knowledge of the road network.

Don't go to Nairobi, Johannesburg... or Coventry. They're shit

Don't eat receipts from Marx and Spencers. The yellow ink that coloured them contains sulphur ... *burp*

Don't put your tongue on the contacts for 9V batteries. Apparently on average 9 people every year die from doing this. I learned that from a book... as I always quite enjoyed putting my tongue on the batteries...

If you burn your feet don't walk around outisde barefoot. I got tons and tons of planters warts.

Don't turn up for a 400m race wearing sandals. You won't win.

Under no circumstances whatsoever, should you join in the laughter, when your woman is being publicly humiliated.

If this should happen, avoid being alone with said woman for at least 48 hours.