money issues (cd, quote, Ching, cheap)

adidasss · 01-30-2006, 07:26 PM

just wanted to know if you guys get uncomfortable when it comes to money and your friends. it's a problem with me, especially because i come from a small village, where everyone is used to doing favours for each other without paying for it. i had quite a little cultural shock when i came to a bigger city, and i asked a classmate to do me a favour ( like burn me a cd or something ) and he actually asked me to pay for it......i was like whaaaa!?
and another thing we have in my small village, there is no such thing as going dutch....you either pay for the whole thing or you don't pay at all because someone else does. and here, well first of all, everyone is dead broke, so going dutch is like a rule.....i get really embaressed and when i go for coffe or out i always offer to pay, actually i insist because i feel like a total retard if someone else pays for me.....and here's the thing, they never offer to pay.....never!! fucking cheapskates!! like last time i was out, everytime i went to get some beer i would ask everyone that was with me if they wanted some, and so i bought half of them drinks, and the polite thing to do is to call the next round.....a-ha....only one person did that ( he's a totally stand up guy and the only one i can stand ) the rest just took me up on my offer...and get this, when they were thursty, you know what they did? they sneaked to the bar and had a drink there so they would have to pay for anyone else.....how fucked is that?!

jibber · 01-30-2006, 07:40 PM

yeah, if a friend asks me to burn a CD, i never ask them to pay for it. Going dutch, whenever I'm out with friends we always split the bill, it's just a given, as for at the bar, if someone gets one round, another person will always pick up the next, although maybe thats just my friends.

Merkaba · 01-30-2006, 07:42 PM

Yeah it's good over here most people you get to know are up with the "one for me and one for you" play.

I would get thoroughly pissed if I shouted a round of drinks and then everyone else just buggers off without returning the gesture.

hookers with machineguns · 01-30-2006, 07:43 PM

I guarantee you, everyone has had these sorts of problems. You might need a different approach. You're buying coffee and beers for your friends out of the kindness of your heart. First of all, you shouldn't anticipate a return of favor. Because if they DO actually return the favor, you feel happy (and maybe surprised), and your friendship gets that much stronger.

If you always find yourself paying, then try to ease off. Use the same excuses they did to you, reduce the number of times you go out together. Addressing the mooching issue openly doesn't work very well in most occasions. It's better to think of it as an act of kindness, rather than a lumpsum loss of money, and move on. Besides, knowing you, if you had that money, you'd probably spend it again on buying your friends another round. That's what nice people do. Don't get discouraged by it. That one person that DID buy the next round- you called him a stand up guy. I'm sure he is saying the same about you. Trust me, nice actions don't ALWAYs go unrecognized.

Laces Out Dan! · 01-30-2006, 07:44 PM

When im with my friends we always split the bill....and as for going to bars and gettin the next round.......im 15

adidasss · 01-30-2006, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merkaba

Yeah it's good over here most people you get to know are up with the "one for me and one for you" play.

I would get thoroughly pissed if I shouted a round of drinks and then everyone else just buggers off without returning the gesture.

maybe it's just this crummy commie city....i swear to god, people here go out with like 5 bucks, so of course they're not gonna call rounds.....then stay at home for gods sake.....or have some dignity and don't let me pay for you.....

Merkaba · 01-30-2006, 07:52 PM

But it's like hookers says, you are only shouting a round out of your own kindness. Perhaps one shouldn't shout a round until they're fairly certain they're in the company of people who you know will shout a round back.

It's not an obligation to return the favour, but it is polite. I guess someone shouting a round of drinks is the equivalent of second base.

An open tab would be like a homerun

adidasss · 01-30-2006, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hookers with machineguns

I guarantee you, everyone has had these sorts of problems. You might need a different approach. You're buying coffee and beers for your friends out of the kindness of your heart. First of all, you shouldn't anticipate a return of favor. Because if they DO actually return the favor, you feel happy (and maybe surprised), and your friendship gets that much stronger.

If you always find yourself paying, then try to ease off. Use the same excuses they did to you, reduce the number of times you go out together. Addressing the mooching issue openly doesn't work very well in most occasions. It's better to think of it as an act of kindness, rather than a lumpsum loss of money, and move on. Besides, knowing you, if you had that money, you'd probably spend it again on buying your friends another round. That's what nice people do. Don't get discouraged by it. That one person that DID buy the next round- you called him a stand up guy. I'm sure he is saying the same about you. Trust me, nice actions don't ALWAYs go unrecognized.

i don't anticipate a return of the favour, and i would never ever say this to their faces, i'm just a little annoyed that i always end up spending a lot of money when i go out simply because i'm too embaressed to get a beer by myself without asking if someone else wants one.....i just can't do it.....and if it was up to them i would stay sober.when you go out you don't pay the whole tab at the end of the night, you buy rounds and pay for them right there, i'm not going to go thursty just so i don't spend some more money, if i went out i'm gonna get drunk no matter how much it costs me.....

Laces Out Dan! · 01-30-2006, 07:57 PM

I think id get pretty pissed if i were always payinf for everything....one day just get to the bar before your friends already with a beer and sneek them for the rest of the night

adidasss · 01-30-2006, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _LesPaul43_

I think id get pretty pissed if i were always payinf for everything....one day just get to the bar before your friends already with a beer and sneek them for the rest of the night

i'm just not that kind of person, i would feel like a total heel.....

01-30-2006, 07:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
adidasss Slavic gay sauce Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Abu Dhabi Posts: 7,993	money issues just wanted to know if you guys get uncomfortable when it comes to money and your friends. it's a problem with me, especially because i come from a small village, where everyone is used to doing favours for each other without paying for it. i had quite a little cultural shock when i came to a bigger city, and i asked a classmate to do me a favour ( like burn me a cd or something ) and he actually asked me to pay for it......i was like whaaaa!? and another thing we have in my small village, there is no such thing as going dutch....you either pay for the whole thing or you don't pay at all because someone else does. and here, well first of all, everyone is dead broke, so going dutch is like a rule.....i get really embaressed and when i go for coffe or out i always offer to pay, actually i insist because i feel like a total retard if someone else pays for me.....and here's the thing, they never offer to pay.....never!! fucking cheapskates!! like last time i was out, everytime i went to get some beer i would ask everyone that was with me if they wanted some, and so i bought half of them drinks, and the polite thing to do is to call the next round.....a-ha....only one person did that ( he's a totally stand up guy and the only one i can stand ) the rest just took me up on my offer...and get this, when they were thursty, you know what they did? they sneaked to the bar and had a drink there so they would have to pay for anyone else.....how fucked is that?! __________________ “Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle. Last.fm

01-30-2006, 07:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
jibber Freeskier Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Istanbul was Constantinople now it's Istanbul not Constantinople... Posts: 1,536	yeah, if a friend asks me to burn a CD, i never ask them to pay for it. Going dutch, whenever I'm out with friends we always split the bill, it's just a given, as for at the bar, if someone gets one round, another person will always pick up the next, although maybe thats just my friends. __________________ What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road. William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass. HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

01-30-2006, 07:42 PM	#3 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,885	Yeah it's good over here most people you get to know are up with the "one for me and one for you" play. I would get thoroughly pissed if I shouted a round of drinks and then everyone else just buggers off without returning the gesture. __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

01-30-2006, 07:44 PM	#5 (permalink)
Laces Out Dan! I love Puck Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,614	When im with my friends we always split the bill....and as for going to bars and gettin the next round.......im 15 __________________ We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.

01-30-2006, 07:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,885	But it's like hookers says, you are only shouting a round out of your own kindness. Perhaps one shouldn't shout a round until they're fairly certain they're in the company of people who you know will shout a round back. It's not an obligation to return the favour, but it is polite. I guess someone shouting a round of drinks is the equivalent of second base. An open tab would be like a homerun __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

01-30-2006, 07:43 PM	#4 (permalink)
hookers with machineguns Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1,753	I guarantee you, everyone has had these sorts of problems. You might need a different approach. You're buying coffee and beers for your friends out of the kindness of your heart. First of all, you shouldn't anticipate a return of favor. Because if they DO actually return the favor, you feel happy (and maybe surprised), and your friendship gets that much stronger. If you always find yourself paying, then try to ease off. Use the same excuses they did to you, reduce the number of times you go out together. Addressing the mooching issue openly doesn't work very well in most occasions. It's better to think of it as an act of kindness, rather than a lumpsum loss of money, and move on. Besides, knowing you, if you had that money, you'd probably spend it again on buying your friends another round. That's what nice people do. Don't get discouraged by it. That one person that DID buy the next round- you called him a stand up guy. I'm sure he is saying the same about you. Trust me, nice actions don't ALWAYs go unrecognized.

01-30-2006, 07:57 PM	#9 (permalink)
Laces Out Dan! I love Puck Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: British Columbia Posts: 4,614	I think id get pretty pissed if i were always payinf for everything....one day just get to the bar before your friends already with a beer and sneek them for the rest of the night __________________ We are entirely smooth, We admit to the truth, We are the best at what we do.