PerFeCTioNThrUSileNCe

calvin and hobbes owns.

i hate axe deodorant spray.....

__________________

jibber

I hate customers in my store. I swear to god I attract all the stupid people and bitchy customers in the world.

"Can you put this snowboard on hold for me?"
"actually, we can't put anything on hold anymore, just because its so close to christmas, and it would get way too crowded in the back, it's just our policy that we don't put product on hold."
"well can't you just put it on hold until tomorow?"
"....no, i'm not allowed to put anything on hold anymore"
"well then what can you do?!"
"I can hide it behind the other boards"

"Can I get these skis mounted tonight?"
"No, we're really busy in the shop, and we have so many skis waiting to be mounted and tuned, it's gonna be at least a week."
"well if I come back later on, will it be faster?"
"uhhhh, no....it's first come first serve"
"oh, well can i put my name on a list or something and bring them in later?"
"......first come.......first serve......no"

"How much is this tennis raquet?"
"$49.99"
"wow, that's expensive, i'll give you $25"
"....that's the price, you can't have it for less"
"oooohhh come on, alright, i'll give you $30 but i'm not going any higher"
*walks away*

"so, I don't really need to buy snowboard boots do I, because I just put my shoe in the bindings and they fit fine."

"so will you be having any better sales on?"
"well our boxing day sale is always one of the biggest sales of the year"
"oh, when is that on?"
".......boxing day...."

"I need a bigger size in these hockey skates"
"the ones you have now are too big, I mean i took the insole out, and you're foot is about an inch away from the end of it, your foot SHOULD be covering the entire insole"
"but they feel really comfortable"
"....thats because you're sitting down....in skates that dont even touch your foot....they're comfortable, but they'll be useless to skate in"
"yeah but i'll wear a bigger sock"

note to anyone who's christmas shopping this year. if you take something off of a rack, PUT IT THE F*CK BACK. it takes two seconds out of your time, so don't trash the stores because it's a bi*ch to clean up at the end of the night. I also hate kids who take our basketballs our of the boxes, and start a game in the aisle with the basketball net we have on display, and they knock over all the merhcandise in the surrounding area, and leave it there. I also hate parents that argue to the death that their kids need 3 inches of growing room in their ski boots. I also hate people who try to barter with us. You're in a f*cking retail store, not a covered market in Afghanistan. I hate people who bit*ch at me because we've sold out of a product. you're shopping a week before christmas, and we're the busiest location in the country, what the f*ck did you expect? ok i'm done ranting for now.

__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

pastor of muppets

^ hahha... i know what that feels like...

yesterday

"so youve got no more glace cherries then?"
"well the shelf is empty so... yeah"
"can you check out the back for me"
"well, were five minutes from closing and theyre taking a really big delivery at the moment so i wont be able to get to anything let alone find it"
"well a great lot of good that is! *storms off*"

"i cant find the tinned capsicum. they used to be just here but theyre not anymore"
"yeah i think they actually deleted that line"
"can you go and ask the manager for me?"
"im sorry the managers really busy at the moment and the shop is actually closed. maybe you could come in tomorrow and ask?"
"oh. ok then. *walks off*"


i swear people are so stupid sometimes.... plus the air con makes my eyes water....

Merkaba

You never realise how c*nty some customers are until you have to serve them

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She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

jibber

"do you have any of the atomic ski bags left?"
"no we sold out of them, but I can check the system to see if any of our other stores have them"
"oh, actually can you just call sport mart and see if they have them?"
".....this is sportchek....not sportmart"
"yeah....so can you call them?"

"I was just at another one of your stores and they were selling this tennis raquet for $36.99, you have it listed as $39.99, I want it for 36.99."
"uh, I think you must be mistaken, all of our prices are quoted to us from head office, so the prices are the same at all of our stores"
"no, no, no! i SAW this raquet for $36.99 at the chinook store, i want it for that price!"
"*sigh*, ok, i'll phone and find out"
*I phoned, talked to a guy at the other store, we both agreed she was on crack*
"I talked to a sales associate at our other store, and he said that this raquet has never been listed at anything under 39.99.
"are you calling me a liar! i saw it for 36.99!!!"
"no....i'm not calling you a liar....i'm just saying that you must be mistaken. and it is only $3.."
"ONLY 3 DOLLARS! 3 DOLLARS IS A CAN OF SOUP!"
"....yes....yes it is....but the raquet is $39.99"
"just let me talk to someone else!"

this woman then proceeded to argue with every single person in our department (about 6 or 7 people) before she asked to see the manager. my manager came out, and repeated that she must have been mistaken, yada yada yada, the same speech we had all been feeding her for the past 1/2 hour. she left after arguing for a full hour, without buying anything. people like her are the reason that i'm convinced working in retail makes you lose faith with the entire human race.

__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

pastor of muppets

the other day, this lady whistled at me and goes:

"come here, i need you to lift this for me"

i was like "im not a fucking dog lady"

Merkaba

Thats so awesome. I'd have gone from being pissed off through to laughing my arse off.

I remember being in a chemist one time and this lady comes in and starts abusing the crap out of the pharmacist. She walks in swearing "you ****ing idiot you ****ed up my perscription who hires you ****ing people this is absolutely disgusting" ...continues for a few minutes and the pharmacist says "Theres nothing wrong with your prescription, it's just like the GP had quoted"

So she walks out one door, walks down around behind the store and comes in through another entrance (theres two) and goes again "I hope you lose your ****ing job you wanker I could become seriously sick from all of this medicine..."

The doctors just like, meh, and turns to another customer while this fat woman carries on swearing in the middle of the store. I couldn't believe it, as if she knew her medicine better then the pharmacist did.

__________________
She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker

jibber

"do you have any snowboard helmets?"
"yeah, they're right over here-"
"those are ski helmets"
"...uhhh, there's really no such thing as a ski helemt or a snowboard helmet. there are helmets made by ski companies, and helmets made by snowboard compainies, but they're the same thing"
"no, thats not true, it's a saftey issue with snowboard helmets to have air vents"
".........what?"
"yes! i heard from another store that it's a safetu issue to have air vents when you're snowboarding"
"........you need to same kind of protection when you're skiing or snowboarding. if your head hits a rock, it doesnt matter if you have one or two boards strapped to your feet"
"no! he said that becasue skiers have poles, they can have vents in their helmets, but since boarders don't, they can't have vents!"
"......what? what does having poles have to do with......what?"
"he said he used to be in the olympics, i'm sure he knew what he was talking about"
*shakes head incredulously*

__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

franscar

I had that one before. I just looked at her for a while, thinking that she couldn't possibly have just said it. But she did.

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Franscar is metal. You are not.

half_baked87

thank god i don't work in retail. yeeeup. seasonal farm labours the life for me. only people i have to deal with are my family and and the occasional hilariously stereotypical redneck.