ArtistInTheAmbulance

Haha, how I missed you Yellow Card..

Anyway, moral of the story is, don't buy teenage magazines. And don't watch teen dramas. And don't listen to the radio.

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shake your wings like theyre laced with sound!

sleepy jack

What if we want to have a good laugh?

"jennie i slept with jennifer and im pregnant"
YOU BASTARD AFTER ALL WEVE BEEN THROUGH
WE COULD"VE SPENT ALL OF FIFTH GRADE TOGETHER
I HATE YOU
*jennie goes off and has fifth grade lesbian sex with jennifer*
to be continued.

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holdfasthope

hahahahaha

Scarlett O'Hara

More like, don't watch TV ever, it is full of advertisements about make-up, looking perfect, and plastic surgery shows.

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franscar

LOL EMO ***Z OMG.

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Franscar is metal. You are not.

jibber

actually funny story about that. some friends of our family have two kids. now, this family is pretty damn well off, but it's all because the parents started their own business from the ground, and just worked their a**es off to get where they are. Their youngest child, the boy, is pretty much a parents dream. smart, polite, tons of friends, active in sports, never asks for anything and is really grateful for what he gets. Their daughter, to put it bluntly, is a spoiled brat. now, her parents pay for everything, clothes food, spending money to go out with her friends, everything. Shes 17, and throws temper tantrums because her parents wont buy her $400 pairs of jeans. her parents told her that if she wanted clothes that expensive, she could get a job. Her dad offered her $12 an hour to sit in his office and answer phones. thats it. she turned it down because it was "boring". then she got a job at a clothing store in the mall and bit*hed endlessly about it, quit 2 weeks later, and continued to throw tantrums about how her parents dont buy her stuff. Same parents, treat both kids the same, one turned out to be a spoiled brat, so no, its not always the parents' fault.

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What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

jibber

haha, and yes, that first list was revolting. I found one written by a guy, and, though some girls may find this extremely offensive (and some may throw a hissy fit), even the girls have to admit, a lot of this stuff is true, although some are pretty horrible. The difference between guys minds and the minds of the air-headed fashion/teen magazine writers:
50 things guys wish girls knew......

1. If you want to cuddle after sex go buy a teddy bear.

2. Swallow. Don't start the race if you ain't gonna finish it.

3. While giving a hand job please remove all rings from your fingers, they hurt really bad.

4. Shave your sh*t. Seriously, shave it bald.

5. Remember that a little blood never hurt nobody.

6. There is no such thing as a fat, ugly, blow job.

7. If you ask us to any sort of dance that requires that we wear a tie, we expect a sexual favor in return.

8. If you used a vibrator and let us watch it might be the greatest moment of our life.

9. If you wonder why we will not eat you out it is most likely because; it stinks, its hairy, or it stinks and its hairy.

10. You masturbate and we know it. When you do it just let us watch.

11. Birth control is the best invention ever. Start poppin those bitches.

12. Just cause we call you when we are drunk does not mean that we like you. It means that we need some ass.

`13. Guys night out means guys night out. It doesn't mean that you and your friends meet us at the bar later.

14. If you wonder why your ass looks fat in those tight pants its because you have a fat ass.

15. If you are with us and you start to cry for any reason just get up and leave.

16. Don't think that we don't know that after we take you out and you order a salad to make us think you eat healthy that you go home and order pizza with your fat friends.

17. Once again, seriously shave your sh*t.

18. Just cause you get our **** one night, does not give you any right to get it the next.

19. If we drink too much, we do not need someone to hold our hair back and act like our babysitter. We have puked before and know how to handle it.

20. After we are through with you, do not expect to make us jealous by fu*king our friends. We really don't care what you do.

21. If we cheat on you and you never find out about it, then its not cheating.

22. If we cheat on you and you do find out, at least it wasn't with one of your friends.

23. Swallow(just in case you forgot #2 already).

24. We don't have a problem with watching chick flicks as long as we get in your pants after.

25. Never under any circumstance take a **** while you are around us or fart. Just thinking about it makes us sick.

26. While giving us head don't be afraid to fondle our testicles, they don't bite.

27. If you are gonna jerk us off aim properly, a nut can irritate your eye.

28. Always remember that men are the superior sex and back in the day you had to ask us if you could speak.

29. If we're about to have sex and we decline because we don't have a rubber its not because we're scared we're gonna get you pregnant, its that we're scared we're gonna catch something from your dirty skank ass.

30. If you swallow like you should, do not expect us to kiss you after. Sorry that's just the way it is.

31. I don't care if you do have a flavored condom, you just don't give a blow job with a condom on. Would you like us to eat you out with a dental damn?? I didn't think so.

32. If we're doing it doggy style there is no reason to turn around and look at us, we're focused on your ass cheeks and that slapping sound.

33. Blood stains on our bed sheets come off with cold water, so make sure you scrub them thoroughly before leaving.

34. When we go down on you to munch on your rug and we instantly start sucking on the inner thighs rather than the clit, its because your clit smells like a dead trout.

35. If you let us donkey punch you we will owe you for life.

36. Just cause we have sex with you when we are drunk does not mean that you are pretty or that we like you. It means that you were our only choice.

37. If we dance with you for more than 15 minutes at a bar we expect you to come home with us.

38. If you think that you are ugly, we probably do too.

39. Don't count on us saying we love you, its just not going to happen.

40. If for some reason we do say we love you its only because we want to have sex immediately after we say it.

41. Just cause you have our phone number doesn't mean we want you to call us. If we want to talk then we will call you.

42. If you invite us over to watch a movie it would be awesome if we watched a porn instead of a movie.

43. If you can't dance then you most likely suck in bed. So stop trying to dance and start having more sex.

44. Hmmmmm......girls in thongs.......yummmmmmmmmm

45. If you are fat the only way you are going to get anywhere in life is to give great blow jobs. Sorry that's just the way it is.

46. A sure way to keep a guy around for awhile is to have anal sex with him. We can't put into words how it feels.

47. You don't have to ask our permission to make out with another chick. Just do it but make sure we are there to watch.

48. In case you didn't read #4 and #17 let me repeat...Shave your sh*t!

49. Guys don't have sex or make love, we f*ck.

50. You can impress us if you can swallow our entire load without dripping or wiping your mouth afterwards.

__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER

mosesandtherubberducky

Jibber...you made my day

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Can I have a youtube video for a sig? There's a thing that says "Wrap [YOUTUBE] tags around selected text"

holdfasthope

Baahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Spikey

35. If you let us donkey punch you we will owe you for life.

What is a donkey punch?
PS I think that yes you are right on all of those...Men are that shallow but it's true that we need to understand that you are that shallow

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www.myspace.com/emeraldskyrock