MAStudent

so all I mean to say is define at the begninning how decisions will be made.

Is one person in charge?

Is everyone in charge?

My band has a core of three friends (vox/bass/drums), and we decide what we will play and where and when. The other two can like it or find another band. Of course we three have very similar taste, so we'll probably like what the other 2 suggest.

I was booking gigs, practice, and doing all the PR, while my buddy bass player did the recording and the sound, and the singer (his girlfriend) picked the songs. He's a nadgery little f'er though (nag/ badger), and kept nadgering me about every little thing. Really, this is my hobby. I am playing the music I like at the places Iike for the $ I like, and don't have time or energy to be nadgered.

So I told him he was smarter than me and had more and better ideas (he doesn't, I'm great at booking, and even though he is a better musician, he still has to ask me for booking tips), and why didn't he take over as band leader and do the booking.

He (smugly) graciously took over the booking, saying it was big of me to admit it. Now I am stress free, still playing what, when, and where I want. But I retain my "core 3" status for veto power and suggestions. I am enjoying not being in charge.

However, I had a lot of stress for a while, because we didn't say at the BEGINNING who would decide and how things would be decided, beyond "us 3 will decide".

I got tired of laying ground work, only to have them change their minds or add a step that messed up my ground work...So, they can do all the work, and I'll just enjoy the benefits.