Review (lyrics, alternative, dance, metal, Kiss)

riseagainstrocks · 12-08-2004, 07:12 PM

I guess this is the best place to put this.

My new band, My False Heart, is in the process of writing new material for our debut show on January 23rd. Here are some of our lastest lyrics. I would like feedback please and be as critical as you want.

Spitting Back Words With Just A Bit More Venom

We’ve reached the end my dear
And I’ve got the rope right here
Enough to hang you right where I want you

I’ll sing back your words
Now tell me how it hurts
To not have any recourse or grace

You’re so wonderful in all your beauty
Beauty so paper thin, beauty so ugly
You’re so fragile in all your beauty
Beauty so fleeting, beauty so dreadful

How could you think I’d help you?
You killed me so many times, once will be enough

I’ll say it was the only way
And I won’t feel guilty or ashamed
I planned this every night I died

I hope you can see
The scars you’ve given me
And so ends all your voiceless whispers

You’re so wonderful in all your beauty
Beauty so paper thin, beauty so ugly
You’re so fragile in all your beauty
Beauty so fleeting, beauty so dreadful

Taking Time To Realize I’m Finished

To be comforted is to forget
To be loved is to remember

A life once lost, is never found
A heart once given is lost to sound

I can’t hear your stringent words
Not that I want to anyway

We’ll never have to say hello again, at least where we’re headed
We’ll never say goodbye, tomorrow, you see, has died

We’ll never have to dance again; on ground no one has tread
We’ll always have these memories, of you and me, to regret

Don’t forget what you can’t save
Don’t sell what you can’t take
Don’t tear what you can’t mend
Don’t give in…don’t give in

We’ll hold them off as long as necessary
We’ll fight forever and staring
Down the barrel of a gun isn’t as scary as I woulda thought

23 Hours Left In The Worst Day Of My Life

Sleep is so persuasive when you’re desperate
I’ll turn off the alarm, try to turn off the world
Leave me to myself; I’m so gone now

You and me, could be, another fatal memory

Better instinct says no but I’ll over analyze
Funny how the lines on your arms run parallel
I noticed that the first night
Notice how it was already the last?

And we dance in this endless waltz
Let the dissonant symphony wash over you, wash over me
The bitter notes mix with sour melodies
It causes us to fade into obscurity
Quick, grab my hand before we’re too far gone…

I won’t wait for this time; half past 2 and I’ll leave
I swear you won’t make it; you’re in a speeding coffin
A final rose is best it seems, to please, and me
I’ll die with the knowledge of what happened

And we dance in this endless waltz
Let the dissonant symphony wash over you, wash over me
The bitter notes mix with sour melodies
The last word I ever said was please
But I slew the final kiss you missed and now we’re too far gone

What, Why, How, End

Verse 1

How do you construct a goodbye?
How do you rebuild these bridges?
How do you buy back this time?
How do you remove these stitches?
How should I apologize again?
How do I move my frozen limbs?

Chorus

I’m having to learn again and I admit I don’t like it
But its not like I have much of a choice
I’m forgiving myself again, and its time to look at this script
Did you write this? I have no voice!

Verse 2

Why should I open up now?
Why do I take my life each night?
Why will you not tell me how?
Why do torched skies burn so bright?
Why should I apologize again?
Why can’t I escape this frozen skin?

Chorus

Verse 3

What must I prove for you?
What more to sorrow can I give?
What causes your blood to melt me through?
What emotion do I trade to live?
What must I apeothize again?
Are you sure it’s no demon?

Chorus

So Damn Dashing

We’re not afraid of consequences are we…

We’ll walk alone our eyes alight
It’s just me and you and stars tonight
But tomorrow will eventually arrive
No matter how hard you try to fight

How can we battle sickness if we have no symptoms?

I’ll sing to you in pouring rain
But you aren’t listening stinging disdain
Cuts through words and severs veins
Seems that I, sang in vain

Which one of your emotions will you trade to live this time?

Why are we fighting fate in its fatalistic glory?
We can’t, we won’t, we’ll not finish writing out Pyrrhean story
I’ll take my stand to stop this darkening sea
But watch my back I fear they’re coming for me

Every Breath A Compromise

Since when does my civility reflect my inner anger!
I was only trying to
Be nice! To you!
But you think everything has an alternative destructive end

I need you to (pull your self) together
Not everything I say (has a double meaning)
Free thinking but close minded
I’m not trying to tempt you

Since when do my lights me more than stop
I still keep trying to
Forget! About you!
But you poisoned my mind so completely

Can you accept that I’m right for you?
Or are you too sure of your imperfection
Because of failure you’ll stay alone
Take my hand I’ll guide you in

Flight

We once flew, above the clouds
Not daring to, look down
Your hand in mine, felt oh so perfect
To see you smile, this fall was worth it

Take me for granted!
Take me to late!
Take me enchanted!
Just take me away
x2

Hearts shatter like so much glass
Wings flutter and we forget our broken past
Now poisoned words fill this Icarian tale
We tried to fly but our wings failed

Take me for granted!
Take me to late!
Take me enchanted!
Just take me away
x2

The brightest star guides our hearts
A demon’s lure, and we’re both torn apart
My scared apologies reach the ears of none
Now I’m undone and won’t see the sun

Take me for granted!
Take me to late!
Take me enchanted!
Just take me away
x2

12-08-2004, 07:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
riseagainstrocks Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: DC Posts: 3,320	Review I guess this is the best place to put this. My new band, My False Heart, is in the process of writing new material for our debut show on January 23rd. Here are some of our lastest lyrics. I would like feedback please and be as critical as you want. Spitting Back Words With Just A Bit More Venom We’ve reached the end my dear And I’ve got the rope right here Enough to hang you right where I want you I’ll sing back your words Now tell me how it hurts To not have any recourse or grace You’re so wonderful in all your beauty Beauty so paper thin, beauty so ugly You’re so fragile in all your beauty Beauty so fleeting, beauty so dreadful How could you think I’d help you? You killed me so many times, once will be enough I’ll say it was the only way And I won’t feel guilty or ashamed I planned this every night I died I hope you can see The scars you’ve given me And so ends all your voiceless whispers You’re so wonderful in all your beauty Beauty so paper thin, beauty so ugly You’re so fragile in all your beauty Beauty so fleeting, beauty so dreadful Taking Time To Realize I’m Finished To be comforted is to forget To be loved is to remember A life once lost, is never found A heart once given is lost to sound I can’t hear your stringent words Not that I want to anyway We’ll never have to say hello again, at least where we’re headed We’ll never say goodbye, tomorrow, you see, has died We’ll never have to dance again; on ground no one has tread We’ll always have these memories, of you and me, to regret Don’t forget what you can’t save Don’t sell what you can’t take Don’t tear what you can’t mend Don’t give in…don’t give in We’ll hold them off as long as necessary We’ll fight forever and staring Down the barrel of a gun isn’t as scary as I woulda thought 23 Hours Left In The Worst Day Of My Life Sleep is so persuasive when you’re desperate I’ll turn off the alarm, try to turn off the world Leave me to myself; I’m so gone now You and me, could be, another fatal memory Better instinct says no but I’ll over analyze Funny how the lines on your arms run parallel I noticed that the first night Notice how it was already the last? And we dance in this endless waltz Let the dissonant symphony wash over you, wash over me The bitter notes mix with sour melodies It causes us to fade into obscurity Quick, grab my hand before we’re too far gone… I won’t wait for this time; half past 2 and I’ll leave I swear you won’t make it; you’re in a speeding coffin A final rose is best it seems, to please, and me I’ll die with the knowledge of what happened And we dance in this endless waltz Let the dissonant symphony wash over you, wash over me The bitter notes mix with sour melodies The last word I ever said was please But I slew the final kiss you missed and now we’re too far gone What, Why, How, End Verse 1 How do you construct a goodbye? How do you rebuild these bridges? How do you buy back this time? How do you remove these stitches? How should I apologize again? How do I move my frozen limbs? Chorus I’m having to learn again and I admit I don’t like it But its not like I have much of a choice I’m forgiving myself again, and its time to look at this script Did you write this? I have no voice! Verse 2 Why should I open up now? Why do I take my life each night? Why will you not tell me how? Why do torched skies burn so bright? Why should I apologize again? Why can’t I escape this frozen skin? Chorus Verse 3 What must I prove for you? What more to sorrow can I give? What causes your blood to melt me through? What emotion do I trade to live? What must I apeothize again? Are you sure it’s no demon? Chorus So Damn Dashing We’re not afraid of consequences are we… We’ll walk alone our eyes alight It’s just me and you and stars tonight But tomorrow will eventually arrive No matter how hard you try to fight How can we battle sickness if we have no symptoms? I’ll sing to you in pouring rain But you aren’t listening stinging disdain Cuts through words and severs veins Seems that I, sang in vain Which one of your emotions will you trade to live this time? Why are we fighting fate in its fatalistic glory? We can’t, we won’t, we’ll not finish writing out Pyrrhean story I’ll take my stand to stop this darkening sea But watch my back I fear they’re coming for me Every Breath A Compromise Since when does my civility reflect my inner anger! I was only trying to Be nice! To you! But you think everything has an alternative destructive end I need you to (pull your self) together Not everything I say (has a double meaning) Free thinking but close minded I’m not trying to tempt you Since when do my lights me more than stop I still keep trying to Forget! About you! But you poisoned my mind so completely Can you accept that I’m right for you? Or are you too sure of your imperfection Because of failure you’ll stay alone Take my hand I’ll guide you in Flight We once flew, above the clouds Not daring to, look down Your hand in mine, felt oh so perfect To see you smile, this fall was worth it Take me for granted! Take me to late! Take me enchanted! Just take me away x2 Hearts shatter like so much glass Wings flutter and we forget our broken past Now poisoned words fill this Icarian tale We tried to fly but our wings failed Take me for granted! Take me to late! Take me enchanted! Just take me away x2 The brightest star guides our hearts A demon’s lure, and we’re both torn apart My scared apologies reach the ears of none Now I’m undone and won’t see the sun Take me for granted! Take me to late! Take me enchanted! Just take me away x2 __________________ One note timeless, came out of nowhere...