dejectedFate

i just thought that if you had a emo song you could post it a receive constuctive critisim i have one that i threw together cause i was sad


Chorus: It dosnt matter what you do
It dosnt matter what you say
I just have to keep wishing to myself
You don't get to live another day

Verse 1: Now I lay dieing in my room
Slowly bleeding from my open wound
And I wont start wishing you were at my side
Its not worth it, its hopeless I've already tryed it many times
I have to start hoping they'll be the next to die

Verse 2: Now my life slips through your fingertips
I wish that some how you could pay
But your just sitting in my room
Starring at my blood stained sheets and walls
Thats when my ghost starts creeping down the hall
I'm gonna make you pay
In the dearest way

Chorus: It dosnt matter what you do
It dosnt matter what you say
I just have to keep wishing to myself
You don't get to live another day

Verse 3: You stabbed me in the back
There was nothing I could do

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maybe when you find out that im dead
you'll realize what you did to me

Thrice

one time i tried to write an emo song and i felt like a ***got...

yours is too straight forward...try and use more metaphors and i think it could be a little better.

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Lew Harrison, who looked like an anarchist with his red eyes and fierce black beard, had been writing furiously in one corner of the room. "That's good—happiness by the kilowatt," he said. "Buy your happiness the way you buy light."

David Frost

http://www.hxcmp3.com/bands/10335

__________________
My iron lung helps me breathe--
And third glass eye helps keep up appearances.
I'm a technological marvel.

emokid

hxcmp3 is win.

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closed hands, open arms, hold nothing.

Thrice

icebergs your band right david?

__________________


Lew Harrison, who looked like an anarchist with his red eyes and fierce black beard, had been writing furiously in one corner of the room. "That's good—happiness by the kilowatt," he said. "Buy your happiness the way you buy light."

ForgottenHero

I got one too. This isn't a song exactly, but meh:

Slowly you take the knife
and cut out my heart
It's relatively painless
and doesn’t last long
Memories start to fade
they're something I’d gladly trade
if it meant I’d forget the hurt
and I could forget the pain.
Words wont come now.
Silence is all I can speak
To think I was already weak
.... is enough
I'm sick of the dreams
And terrified screams
I'll go on, but I need you to hold me

~<(".<)

David Frost

... we broke up. but my new band (with ex members of that one) is releasing a 7" split on limbless records that you kids should pick up.

__________________
My iron lung helps me breathe--
And third glass eye helps keep up appearances.
I'm a technological marvel.

spearmint

It's not really my song it's my brothers...but still I think it's pretty awsome so I decided to post it

I turn to face to face the night
The purple moonlit sky the orange glow
The streetlights I look up to see the moon still smiling down
Smiling with such a gentle face
And everything is beautiful this night
The sky
This world
Your eyes
Nothing has ever felt so perfect
Nothing has ever felt so perfect
So down as normal
I’ve seen films before
The boy falls
The girl falls too
Then she leaves
And it always rains
Well it’s been raining for days on end
It’s been raining for days on end
You’re still here
Holding my hand
You’re holding on to my heart
And I hope that you’ll never let go
The boy falls
The girl falls
Then she leaves
And it always rains
Well it’s been raining for days on end
It’s been raining for days on end
You’re still here
Holding my hand
You’re holding on to my heart
And I hope that you’ll never let go

(might be a bit confusing without a beat...hmm)

riseagainstrocks

You crazy kids and your songs

and David I must say I'm not a fan of the vocals but the music is cool



Not truly "emo" its hardcore with a slightly softer edge. 75% screams 10% sing 15% unintelligable mumbling. Its throwback style to say the least. This is my shortest and probably worst song, but if it gets a good enough recepetion I'll put up the ones that we actually play!

Sleep is so persuasive when you’re desperate
I’ll turn off the alarm, try turn off the world
Leave me to my self and my thoughts I’m gone
You and me, could be, just another fatal memory

Better instinct says no but I’ll over analyze
Funny how the lines on your arms run parallel
I saw that the first night
Did you notice It was the last

And we dance in this endless waltz
Let the dissonant symphony wash over us
The bitter notes mix with sour melodies
It causes us to slowly fade into obscurity
Quickly grab my hand before we’re too far gone

I won’t wait this time, half-past 2 and I’m gone
I swear you won’t make it you’re in a speeding coffin
A final rose is best it seems, to please, and me
I’ll die with the knowledge of what happened

And we dance in this endless waltz
Let the dissonant symphony wash over us
The bitter notes mix with sour melodies
I'll slay the final kiss, that you missed
but now we're too far gone

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One note timeless, came out of nowhere...