The type of person you are and want to be around music.

upperlowerclassaptrenter · 03-03-2021, 04:22 PM

Hey guys, just found the forum yesterday. This is my first post. Though embarrassing, the main reason I wanted to join the community is essentially that Im lonely and Im really hoping to find a group to belong in. I don't really want to be this reclusive thing anymore, I'd like to meet people who are interested in what Im interested in. It just so happens that I am becoming increasingly interested in music (because Im in my twentys).

I want to be the type of person who just goes to a concert after work, who has friends who enable each others art (for whatever its worth). I want to feel a sense of belonging to a group, I don't want to be this alienated thing completely cut off from everyone else.

But I'm so shy, weird, reserved, and full of insecurities to really bite into the idea. Do you guys have similar thoughts? How do I not be my lame self at concerts? I cant be the only internet age recluse with such thoughts. Is it as simple as 'just go to a concert?' Im 22, maybe I just want to have fun? (when possible)

fire · 03-03-2021, 04:58 PM

I am 33 and I have not been in concerts.
Take your time, it will come in the end, when you feel ready just do it.

**Marie Monday** · 03-03-2021, 05:19 PM

ok I have thoughs about this, so here we go:
I really felt like an outcast in school; I got along with others and there were people who accepted me for who I was, but I didn't fit in at all. That feeling has always remained to a lesser extent, and even nowadays very few people I meet share my taste in music, for instance.
But it gets better; as you get older, the cool people become less conformist and appreciate your individuality. Go out there (I mean, after corona I guess) even though it's scary, and you'll find people you vibe with. I think an important thing to realise is that it's ok not to belong to a certain group. Unless you fit well within a certain type and/or get lucky, you may not find a clique of people like you, but you don't necessarily need to. If you open up to the people around you, you'll find people you can bond with are scattered everywhere, and you discover you relate to people you never thought you would. This is starting to sound like a voiceover in a sentimental B-movie, but it's true.

ps. there's nothing wrong with going to concerts alone. Whenever I want to go see a band nobody I know likes, I just go by myself. In a way I prefer it to going with other people.

Trollheart · 03-03-2021, 07:58 PM

It's kind of tough being lonely, or feeling lonely at such a young age. However, you will find people here ready to talk about music, and other things. Most of the fun stuff goes down in the Lounge though, where people just talk about anything. You'll probably need to grow a slightly thicker skin I feel; I was the same when I came here originally thirteen years ago, ready to take offence too easily which led to my absence from the forum for three years. When I came back I was a little less up myself.

Don't take anything personally, have a sense of humour and join in. If people slag off your favourite music don't take offence. There are people here who thrive on that, it's all but their raison d'etre, but in general there are no really nasty people here. Take part, relax and you should be fine.

Welcome!

Can't tell you about gigs as I think the last one I was at was Peter Gabriel's Secret World tour, and that's back in what 1992?

adidasss · 03-03-2021, 09:13 PM

I would say the primary reason I joined this forum (and other forums for other interests) is because I didn't have anybody "in real life" that I could share these interests with. And I still don't, 15 years after I first started being a part of online forums.

I'm not a total recluse, although I am quite antisocial so have few friends. That's why maybe it's unlikely that within my relatively narrow circle of friends I will find someone who shares my interests. I think that's quite rare.

But hey, thank heavens there is the internet so you have a much better chance of finding likeminded people. Or sometimes it's just nice to be able to express your opinion on something, even if no one else really shares this opinion.

So anyway, welcome to the forum. I hope you find what you're looking for here...

P.s. I've gone to gigs by myself plenty of times and enjoyed them a lot.

Norg · 03-03-2021, 10:45 PM

dang bad timing there has not been a concert in the states in like 15 months no major one at least

TheBig3 · 03-04-2021, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upperlowerclassaptrenter

But I'm so shy, weird, reserved, and full of insecurities to really bite into the idea. Do you guys have similar thoughts? How do I not be my lame self at concerts? I cant be the only internet age recluse with such thoughts. Is it as simple as 'just go to a concert?' Im 22, maybe I just want to have fun? (when possible)

Are you in a metro region that allows easy access to post-work concerts? Looks like you might be close to Chicago.

In my experience, it's easier to make friends with associations that promote common interests. What are you into? There's usually a MeetUp or leagues in your area you can join. I joined Kickball leagues when I moved to Boston and it was less athletic and more group-drinking.

Knowing what you're interested in talking about to other people should help us (or anyone) help figure out the best path forward.

As for these forums, I've been here off and on since 2004. If you post enough times, it will start to feel like home. Welcome!

upperlowerclassaptrenter · 03-06-2021, 02:32 PM

Sorry for the late reply. I was honestly scared to check the thread, but these replies have all been so kind, supportive, and helpful! Really grateful for that.

It's very relieving (and maybe obvious) to hear that I should just be myself. Like I should just go to a show cause I wanna. I don't know why Im waiting for an invitation. It's like Im looking in the window from outside in the rain, just hoping the family will let me in, even though the doors already wide open.

I live about an hour north of Chicago, so I imagine myself taking that drive to whatever concert. I guess I'm lucky to live in a decent location in that regard.

Im really into everything Phil Elverum right now. Guess I'm a part of the 'A Crow Looked at Me' bandwagon, but I love his music so much I don't care. Listening to Death Cab for Cutie, Julien Baker's new album, Fred Thomas, slowdive, Purple Mountains, Pedro the Lion as of late.

What are you guys listening to right now? I'm always up for suggestions.

Thank you guys again for the responses, you were all very welcoming.

fire · 03-06-2021, 03:08 PM

Glad that you find the support here.

My musical style is different, not sure if you will like it.
listening now from bandcamp
Noone Lasses
by Anton Emery

upperlowerclassaptrenter · 03-06-2021, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fire

Glad that you find the support here.

My musical style is different, not sure if you will like it.
listening now from bandcamp
Noone Lasses
by Anton Emery

I like it

Very impressive playing. I was listening to classical guitarists like Segovia and Williams and Barrios a lot for a little while. First song reminds me of some more mainstream folk artists like Tallest Man on Earth or maybe like 'Sligo River Blues' by John Fahey. I think the Celtic music feels more accessible on guitar, right? It feels closer to home. Though I know nothing about Celtic music...

03-03-2021, 04:22 PM	#1 (permalink)
upperlowerclassaptrenter Groupie Join Date: Mar 2021 Location: Northern Illinois Posts: 5	The type of person you are and want to be around music. Hey guys, just found the forum yesterday. This is my first post. Though embarrassing, the main reason I wanted to join the community is essentially that Im lonely and Im really hoping to find a group to belong in. I don't really want to be this reclusive thing anymore, I'd like to meet people who are interested in what Im interested in. It just so happens that I am becoming increasingly interested in music (because Im in my twentys). I want to be the type of person who just goes to a concert after work, who has friends who enable each others art (for whatever its worth). I want to feel a sense of belonging to a group, I don't want to be this alienated thing completely cut off from everyone else. But I'm so shy, weird, reserved, and full of insecurities to really bite into the idea. Do you guys have similar thoughts? How do I not be my lame self at concerts? I cant be the only internet age recluse with such thoughts. Is it as simple as 'just go to a concert?' Im 22, maybe I just want to have fun? (when possible)

03-03-2021, 04:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
fire Music Addict Join Date: Jul 2019 Location: Israel Posts: 186	I am 33 and I have not been in concerts. Take your time, it will come in the end, when you feel ready just do it. __________________ Last.fm

03-03-2021, 07:58 PM	#4 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	It's kind of tough being lonely, or feeling lonely at such a young age. However, you will find people here ready to talk about music, and other things. Most of the fun stuff goes down in the Lounge though, where people just talk about anything. You'll probably need to grow a slightly thicker skin I feel; I was the same when I came here originally thirteen years ago, ready to take offence too easily which led to my absence from the forum for three years. When I came back I was a little less up myself. Don't take anything personally, have a sense of humour and join in. If people slag off your favourite music don't take offence. There are people here who thrive on that, it's all but their raison d'etre, but in general there are no really nasty people here. Take part, relax and you should be fine. Welcome! Can't tell you about gigs as I think the last one I was at was Peter Gabriel's Secret World tour, and that's back in what 1992? __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

03-03-2021, 09:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
adidasss Slavic gay sauce Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Abu Dhabi Posts: 7,993	I would say the primary reason I joined this forum (and other forums for other interests) is because I didn't have anybody "in real life" that I could share these interests with. And I still don't, 15 years after I first started being a part of online forums. I'm not a total recluse, although I am quite antisocial so have few friends. That's why maybe it's unlikely that within my relatively narrow circle of friends I will find someone who shares my interests. I think that's quite rare. But hey, thank heavens there is the internet so you have a much better chance of finding likeminded people. Or sometimes it's just nice to be able to express your opinion on something, even if no one else really shares this opinion. So anyway, welcome to the forum. I hope you find what you're looking for here... P.s. I've gone to gigs by myself plenty of times and enjoyed them a lot. __________________ “Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle. Last.fm

03-06-2021, 03:08 PM	#9 (permalink)
fire Music Addict Join Date: Jul 2019 Location: Israel Posts: 186	Glad that you find the support here. My musical style is different, not sure if you will like it. listening now from bandcamp Noone Lasses by Anton Emery __________________ Last.fm

03-03-2021, 10:45 PM	#6 (permalink)
Norg Music Addict Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,358	dang bad timing there has not been a concert in the states in like 15 months no major one at least

03-06-2021, 02:32 PM	#8 (permalink)
upperlowerclassaptrenter Groupie Join Date: Mar 2021 Location: Northern Illinois Posts: 5	Sorry for the late reply. I was honestly scared to check the thread, but these replies have all been so kind, supportive, and helpful! Really grateful for that. It's very relieving (and maybe obvious) to hear that I should just be myself. Like I should just go to a show cause I wanna. I don't know why Im waiting for an invitation. It's like Im looking in the window from outside in the rain, just hoping the family will let me in, even though the doors already wide open. I live about an hour north of Chicago, so I imagine myself taking that drive to whatever concert. I guess I'm lucky to live in a decent location in that regard. Im really into everything Phil Elverum right now. Guess I'm a part of the 'A Crow Looked at Me' bandwagon, but I love his music so much I don't care. Listening to Death Cab for Cutie, Julien Baker's new album, Fred Thomas, slowdive, Purple Mountains, Pedro the Lion as of late. What are you guys listening to right now? I'm always up for suggestions. Thank you guys again for the responses, you were all very welcoming.