Trollheart tries to save all the albums Ki likes that Batty want to **** on

The Batlord · 12-02-2016, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

Says the man who took six or more pages before he did his first review??? Too busy listening to Saxon live for the Metal journal atm.

You're definitely better off. Which album? Pretty sure they have about fifty.

Trollheart · 12-02-2016, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

You're definitely better off. Which album? Pretty sure they have about fifty.

Latest live: Let Me Feel Your Power. Most of it really takes me back. Superb stuff.

Trollheart · 12-02-2016, 02:16 PM

Trollheart · 12-02-2016, 02:17 PM

Just kidding. I'm not ready for this **** yet.

Batty, give me a shout out for your favourite/best Death Metal record this year. I wanna feature it in my Metal journal next.
Cheers.

Key · 12-02-2016, 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

This is the nicest thing you could've ever said about this album.

Thanks TH.

The Batlord · 12-02-2016, 05:54 PM

I don't listen to current albums so you'll get nothing from me. Just review that album and quit being gay.

Trollheart · 12-02-2016, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I don't listen to current albums so you'll get nothing from me. Just review that album and quit being gay.

Sorry, busy listening to Blood Incantation now...

Trollheart · 12-02-2016, 06:33 PM

Okay, I just have to review In Mourning and then I'll get to this. Tomorrow. Definitely. Or Sunday. By the end of the week, without doubt. Or the middle. Or before Christmas, certainly.

Maybe.

Trollheart · 12-03-2016, 11:26 AM

All right then, let's get this over with.

Imaginaerum - Nightwish - 2011

First off, the spelling of the title gave me problems. Not a good start.

1. Taikatalvi: Sung in their native Finnish, not what I would consider the best start but I guess that's their choice. Not bad for what it is, kind of folky melody with some nice piano and choral vocals. More spelling troubles for Trollheart. Oh now we have some whistle, no doubt down to Troy Donockley. Nice. Decent start.
2. Storytime: I see what Batty means about Annette. She sounds a bit like a little kid singing here and I can definitely hear the ABBA comparison. There's not enough power in her voice. It's a rocky enough track, though on a side note I have to laugh at the description of the band on the CD as “the imagineers”. Jesus! Reminds me of Futurama “fungineers”!

Nice bit of orchestral there, the operatic vocals work well but bands of this nature tend to overuse these. We'll see if that's the case with Nightwish, and particularly with this album. I like the hook in the song. Not bad.
3. Ghost river: IS this Status Quo's “Down down”? I swear I heard the lyric “Down, down, deeper, down”!

Uptempo at least, if a little confused vocalwise; the male vocal doesn't work, as I think Batty pointed out in his review. Oh dear God no! I was just about to say the song was okay apart from the male vocals, but now they have a children's choir! How low can you go? Colour me annoyed and also bored now. For all that, I can enjoy this song to a point: there's a lot of energy to it.
4. Slow, love, slow: I assume this is going to be the first ballad. I don't think I'll lose my shirt on that bet will I? Well here comes tinkling piano so, you know. Like the bassline and the minor chords. Annette's singing is much better here when she doesn't push herself so much. This has a real swaying blues feel about it, some really nice smoky sax I think it is, a lot more restrained and simple. Very nice indeed. Super little introspective guitar solo and some nice orchestral too. Good vocal workout from Annette; hard to believe it's the same singer. The last minute or so of the song could have been cut, though: what's with the tap-tap-tapping that ends it? As Batty would say, gay. Other than that, great song.
5. I want my tears back: Just in case there's any doubt they sing this at the opening, then Troy adds a real touch of class with his uileann pipes giving the song a Celtic feel. Meh, thought I would like this; started well then kind of devolved into a pretty average run-of-the-mill symphonic metal song only enlivened by our Troy, who never disappoints. Could have been so much better though. He tries to save it at the end; valiant effort man, but it's beyond saving now.
6. Scaretale: Oh dear I'm so scared I just **** myself. Oh no, wait: that was laughter. Seriously? Children singing “Ring around the rosie” a la Village of the Damned, a rising “ominous” piano line and now a sort of medieval tune before the orchestra comes in all dramatic? Trying too hard? Definitely. Here come the overblown choral vocals. Some power metal drumming now, and we're two minutes and counting in and there have been no vocals. Here comes a snarly guitar riff to show you how hard they are, and still no singing. Cellos now I think oh and here she is and the first line is “Once upon a time”. Jesus ****ing Christ on toast with eggs over easy! She's even trying to make her voice sound all wicked and scary. It doesn't work, believe me. She sounds like a badly warped version of Lene Lovich or something. Yawn. Now we'll have a big long instrumental break so you can understand the scope of this scary tale, and sure why not? A carnival barker introducing things in a totally over the top growly male voice and we're off into a Russian folk melody or something. Somebody call Tom Waits! This is so bad it would be funny if they weren't taking themselves seriously. Oh, just call me when it's over, would you? What? It is? And we're on to the next track? Thanks for the heads up; didn't notice.
7. Arabesque: Um, yeah. Instrumental. Meh.
8. Turn loose the mermaids: What? Well, you know, as bad a title as “Scaretale” I suppose. Nice folky almost acapella vocal, with Troy again doing what he does best, and the song to be fair is quite nice. Elegant piano, little soft flourishes from the orchestra, altogeher quite pleasant. Nice brass, though it's sort of Mexican-like for some reason. Still, it kinda works.
9. Rest calm: Oh. Another seven-minuter. From what I've heard so far Nightwish do better when they have shorter, more simple songs; the longer, more epic ones tend to be overstretched and, well, overblown. Mind you, there's a thirteen-minute extravaganza yet to come! Oh joy! Sounds like we have male vocals this time; at least they're not growled. Was rocking but now it's fallen back to a softer pace, which is a little jarring, although the title would have suggested a ballad. Now it's back hard and dramatic again. Sigh. And here come the children again. Isn't it past their bedtime? And let's have a male operatic vocal while we're overblowing everything, why not? Sigh again, and I don't mean the Japanese Black Metal band.
10. The crow, the owl and the dove: This I guess is the next ballad, starts off on acoustic guitar and is quite gentle and reflective, with a double vocal this time, or is it triple? Again, Nightwish keep it relatively simple and it works so much better than much of the overblown nonsense on the longer tracks.
11. Last ride of the day: Sounds like a good offer from the local whorehouse, eh? And speaking of overblown (pun maybe intended) they're back to it again, though at least this time the song is a mere four minutes long, but we're coming up on the ****ing monster...
12. Song of myself: ... and here it is. Well, could any song title better encapsulate a band who are so totally up themselves that they rename the ****ing London Symphony Orchestra?? Oh yes, they had to call them The Looking-Glass Orchestra. WTF? Are you people on drugs or something? What's with all the weird names? Imagineers. The Loved Ones. The Fellowship. This isn't a fantasy novel you know. Sigh for the third (or is it fourth time), and at this point I wish I was listening to them. Sigh, I mean. Well, this can neither be good nor unexpected, as we open on a big dramatic choir and orchestra before the guitars get involved. Oh yeah, this is split into four parts, but I'm not going to bother differentiating between them, mostly as I don't know where one ends and the other begins. That's a lie. The real reason is I just don't care. I think we're in part two now. Maybe. One is called “Black piano” and would indicate that – no; no piano. How odd. If I cared. Which I don't. Oh wait, here comes the piano now, and some sort of spoken vocal. Poetry or just faff? You decide. I'm going to sleep through this. It's the ultimate in self-indulgent crap.
13. Imaginaerum: Oh yeah, it ends on an instrumental, which also happens to be the title track. Yeah. It's nice, sort of a rehash of some of the musical themes in the album, though it does mostly sound like the music to a Danny Elfman project.

I think I was probably harsher on this album than I could or should have been, and were I to listen to it again I might like it better. It's just there are so many cliches and repetitive elements in it I just can't take it seriously. Yet.

Batty's verdict: Overblown crap, predictable and boring.
Trollheart's verdict: Hovering between a Like and a Meh. Still not quite sure. Probably leaning more towards the former. Maybe.

The Batlord · 12-03-2016, 11:46 AM

What does white mean again?

12-02-2016, 02:16 PM	#13 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	__________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

12-02-2016, 02:17 PM	#14 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Just kidding. I'm not ready for this **** yet. Batty, give me a shout out for your favourite/best Death Metal record this year. I wanna feature it in my Metal journal next. Cheers. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

12-02-2016, 06:33 PM	#18 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	Okay, I just have to review In Mourning and then I'll get to this. Tomorrow. Definitely. Or Sunday. By the end of the week, without doubt. Or the middle. Or before Christmas, certainly. Maybe. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

12-03-2016, 11:26 AM	#19 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	All right then, let's get this over with. Imaginaerum - Nightwish - 2011 First off, the spelling of the title gave me problems. Not a good start. 1. Taikatalvi: Sung in their native Finnish, not what I would consider the best start but I guess that's their choice. Not bad for what it is, kind of folky melody with some nice piano and choral vocals. More spelling troubles for Trollheart. Oh now we have some whistle, no doubt down to Troy Donockley. Nice. Decent start. 2. Storytime: I see what Batty means about Annette. She sounds a bit like a little kid singing here and I can definitely hear the ABBA comparison. There's not enough power in her voice. It's a rocky enough track, though on a side note I have to laugh at the description of the band on the CD as “the imagineers”. Jesus! Reminds me of Futurama “fungineers”! Nice bit of orchestral there, the operatic vocals work well but bands of this nature tend to overuse these. We'll see if that's the case with Nightwish, and particularly with this album. I like the hook in the song. Not bad. 3. Ghost river: IS this Status Quo's “Down down”? I swear I heard the lyric “Down, down, deeper, down”! Uptempo at least, if a little confused vocalwise; the male vocal doesn't work, as I think Batty pointed out in his review. Oh dear God no! I was just about to say the song was okay apart from the male vocals, but now they have a children's choir! How low can you go? Colour me annoyed and also bored now. For all that, I can enjoy this song to a point: there's a lot of energy to it. 4. Slow, love, slow: I assume this is going to be the first ballad. I don't think I'll lose my shirt on that bet will I? Well here comes tinkling piano so, you know. Like the bassline and the minor chords. Annette's singing is much better here when she doesn't push herself so much. This has a real swaying blues feel about it, some really nice smoky sax I think it is, a lot more restrained and simple. Very nice indeed. Super little introspective guitar solo and some nice orchestral too. Good vocal workout from Annette; hard to believe it's the same singer. The last minute or so of the song could have been cut, though: what's with the tap-tap-tapping that ends it? As Batty would say, gay. Other than that, great song. 5. I want my tears back: Just in case there's any doubt they sing this at the opening, then Troy adds a real touch of class with his uileann pipes giving the song a Celtic feel. Meh, thought I would like this; started well then kind of devolved into a pretty average run-of-the-mill symphonic metal song only enlivened by our Troy, who never disappoints. Could have been so much better though. He tries to save it at the end; valiant effort man, but it's beyond saving now. 6. Scaretale: Oh dear I'm so scared I just **** myself. Oh no, wait: that was laughter. Seriously? Children singing “Ring around the rosie” a la Village of the Damned, a rising “ominous” piano line and now a sort of medieval tune before the orchestra comes in all dramatic? Trying too hard? Definitely. Here come the overblown choral vocals. Some power metal drumming now, and we're two minutes and counting in and there have been no vocals. Here comes a snarly guitar riff to show you how hard they are, and still no singing. Cellos now I think oh and here she is and the first line is “Once upon a time”. Jesus **ing Christ on toast with eggs over easy! She's even trying to make her voice sound all wicked and scary. It doesn't work, believe me. She sounds like a badly warped version of Lene Lovich or something. Yawn. Now we'll have a big long instrumental break so you can understand the scope of this scary tale, and sure why not? A carnival barker introducing things in a totally over the top growly male voice and we're off into a Russian folk melody or something. Somebody call Tom Waits! This is so bad it would be funny if they weren't taking themselves seriously. Oh, just call me when it's over, would you? What? It is? And we're on to the next track? Thanks for the heads up; didn't notice. 7. Arabesque: Um, yeah. Instrumental. Meh. 8. Turn loose the mermaids:** What? Well, you know, as bad a title as “Scaretale” I suppose. Nice folky almost acapella vocal, with Troy again doing what he does best, and the song to be fair is quite nice. Elegant piano, little soft flourishes from the orchestra, altogeher quite pleasant. Nice brass, though it's sort of Mexican-like for some reason. Still, it kinda works. 9. Rest calm: Oh. Another seven-minuter. From what I've heard so far Nightwish do better when they have shorter, more simple songs; the longer, more epic ones tend to be overstretched and, well, overblown. Mind you, there's a thirteen-minute extravaganza yet to come! Oh joy! Sounds like we have male vocals this time; at least they're not growled. Was rocking but now it's fallen back to a softer pace, which is a little jarring, although the title would have suggested a ballad. Now it's back hard and dramatic again. Sigh. And here come the children again. Isn't it past their bedtime? And let's have a male operatic vocal while we're overblowing everything, why not? Sigh again, and I don't mean the Japanese Black Metal band. 10. The crow, the owl and the dove: This I guess is the next ballad, starts off on acoustic guitar and is quite gentle and reflective, with a double vocal this time, or is it triple? Again, Nightwish keep it relatively simple and it works so much better than much of the overblown nonsense on the longer tracks. 11. Last ride of the day: Sounds like a good offer from the local whorehouse, eh? And speaking of overblown (pun maybe intended) they're back to it again, though at least this time the song is a mere four minutes long, but we're coming up on the **ing monster... 12. Song of myself: ... and here it is. Well, could any song title better encapsulate a band who are so totally up themselves that they rename the ing London Symphony Orchestra?? Oh yes, they had to call them The Looking-Glass Orchestra. WTF? Are you people on drugs or something? What's with all the weird names? Imagineers. The Loved Ones. The Fellowship. This isn't a fantasy novel you know. Sigh for the third (or is it fourth time), and at this point I wish I was listening to them. Sigh, I mean. Well, this can neither be good nor unexpected, as we open on a big dramatic choir and orchestra before the guitars get involved. Oh yeah, this is split into four parts, but I'm not going to bother differentiating between them, mostly as I don't know where one ends and the other begins. That's a lie. The real reason is I just don't care. I think we're in part two now. Maybe. One is called “Black piano” and would indicate that – no; no piano. How odd. If I cared. Which I don't. Oh wait, here comes the piano now, and some sort of spoken vocal. Poetry or just faff? You decide. I'm going to sleep through this. It's the ultimate in self-indulgent crap. 13. Imaginaerum: Oh yeah, it ends on an instrumental, which also happens to be the title track. Yeah. It's nice, sort of a rehash of some of the musical themes in the album, though it does mostly sound like the music to a Danny Elfman project. I think I was probably harsher on this album than I could or should have been, and were I to listen to it again I might like it better. It's just there are so many cliches and repetitive elements in it I just can't take it seriously. Yet. Batty's verdict: Overblown crap, predictable and boring. Trollheart's verdict: Hovering between a Like and a Meh*. Still not quite sure. Probably leaning more towards the former. Maybe. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018*