grindy

That was pretty great.
I sure wish you'd continue your hateful reviews of avantgarde stuff.

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A smell of petroleum prevails throughout.

The Batlord

So, Trollheart has already posted the review of the album he's supposed to be "saving" from me before I even **** on it. Good job, you overachieving, teacher's pet bitch. Anyway, this is supposed to be Southern rap, so I'm expecting big, dumb production and/or big, dumb rapping. Could go either way with me tbh.






1. the ends (feat. Andre 3000) - 3:21: Yes, the song titles are not capitalized. I didn't **** that up FYI.

Okay, so I thought this would at least kick off all thumpin' and bumpin' and ****, not with a cringey, auto-tuned, sub-T-Pain nu R&B croon. Oh there's the rappin'. So... he's ripping off Kanye? And still with the auto-tune? And the vocals are way too high in the mix so that you can only hear the production as background noise while the tinny sounding auto-tune pokes you in the ears 100% of the time?

I was worrying unnecessarily. This might be even worse than Nightwish. We are in bidness.

Alright, all the awkward vocal shifts this guy does is just as jarring as everything else on this album.

2. way back - 4:32: I knew there was a song on here featuring Kendrick Lamar, so when I heard this dude ripping him off I just assumed it was that song. Good thing it's not, cause I actually like Kendrick, and this would be a really annoying thing for me to associate with him.

I don't pretend to have that great a handle on rap technique, any more than I do guitar playing, but this dude's flow feels so lazy. Like each line could have been recorded separately and spliced together. He just says one line. Pauses. Says another line. Pauses. And never does anything else. Even when he sings. He can't sing either.

Oh yeah, and the production is boring as **** too.

3. coordinate (feat. Blac Youngsta) - 3:46: Violet would love this. It's terrible. TH, if you're reading this, and I know that you are, this is not an album by which you should judge hip hop. Unless my desire to mock Ki is somehow completely getting in the way of my open mindedness this is sub-ICP crap, but it doesn't even have anything else to recommend it despite its ****tiness. The R&B hooks aren't even a decent gimmick as they'd suck with or without the auto-tune.

4. through the late night (feat. Kid Cudi) - 4:46: And let me make this perfectly clear. This entire album. Is auto-tuned. All of it. It's like Travis Scott got totally bombed out on acid and Ke$ha and forgot he was recording a real album. Except he has none of that sweet songstress' charm. I refuse to even use the "$" in his name anymore, because that would somehow put them on equal footing.

Yeah, that rant was continued from the last song. Don't even care. All these songs sound the ****ing same anyway so this rant is as valid here as it is above.

5. beibs in the trap (feat. Nav) - 3:33: Oh yeah, throw some even ****tier Lil' Wayne rapping into the Kanye/Kendrick vacuum of talentlessness. That'll make things better.

And don't worry about the lyrics, dudes. Use your imagination. Exactly.

Not that I care about lyrics that much in rap, but just sayin'.

6. sdp interlude - 3:11: A 3-minute interlude? It's not a skit? No, this sounds like music. The **** kind of rap interlude is music and lasts for three minutes? One I don't want any part of I imagine.

Oh, it's just a song with the word "interlude" in it. Except all he's saying is "smoke some, drink some, pop one" (sdp, right?!).

Did this really just go on for three god damn minutes? This dude is a ****ing retard. At least now I want a drink though, so this song has done its job.

Top props, knob.

7. sweet sweet - 3:42: Is he covering himself with this rehashed vocal line? Or is he covering Kendrick Lamar? I can't even tell anymore. I'm just going to assume that everything in this album was taken piecemeal from either a Kendrick, Kanye, or Lil' Wayne song, so I won't even bring it up anymore.

8. outside (feat. 21 Savage) - 2:56: Oh yeah, and there have been a bunch of features on this album, but tbh I can't bring myself to listen closely enough to be able to pick them out from the autotuned abortion that is the vocals on this Planned Parenthood dumpster fire. It all sounds the ****ing same.

Oh wait, I think that was one of the dudes. Sounded better than Travis I guess.

9. goosebumps (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - 4:03: It's that song with Kendrick Lamar. I SWEAR TO ****ING GOD HE'S USED THIS SAME VOCAL HOOK TWICE ALREADY! AT LEAST!!! If I was Kendrick I'd have had my lawyers on the phone by the time I was going out the studio door.

I think Travis is trolling me in real-time for trashing his ****, cause he starts rapping like Lil' Wayne every time I really lay into him.

Is Kendrick at all taking this seriously? He was actually the best thing I've heard yet, and he just sounded like he was totally ****ing around.

10. first take (feat. Bryson Tiller) - 5:13: Around halfway through reviewing these albums I want to end I usually start adding up the song lengths for the tracks I have left so I know how much longer I have to suffer. Sixteen minutes. I can do this.

Come on. End.

****ing end.

Thank you.

11. Travi$ Scott & Young Thug - pick up the phone (feat. Quavo) - 4:12: I've basically been getting myself through this album by coming up with **** to say that feels satisfyingly mean-spirited. Unfortunately I might have blown my load, so it's gonna be a slow crawl to the finish for me from here on out.

Hey, Travisty, I bet your mother is a welfare queen who goes out in public with hair curlers. That's good stuff. We can get through this, bros.

P.S. "Discriminize" is not a word.

12. lose - 3:20: A little over ten minutes to go. Not a single song has made me care. Not one. They are all awful, they are all boring, they are all that is bad in Hitler's Germany.

I'll bet his sister is a recurring guest on Maury, too. Thank god Soulflower is banned.

13. guidance (feat K. Forest) - 3:27: Is this song up yet? No? Oops.

There we go. Wait for it... yeah, **** this song as well. See you in a few, dudes.

14. wonderful (feat. The Weeknd) - 3:36: Oh ****, two of Ki's new fav artists on the same track? This is a two-for-one deal right here.

Is that The Weeknd? He/she sounds just like Travis. What am I supposed to say? **** this all in general, I guess. I got nothing else, so I guess I'll just sign off with my usual "**** this artist" and drop a deuces. Peace.

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Thelonious Monkey

That review actually makes me want to listen to it.

Trollheart

In general, that said pretty much everything I said in my last review. I couldn't wait for it to end either. It all sounded the same. Oh, and I may not have mentioned it, but, you know, Autotune ? F.U.C.K.

Violet, if you like this I will lose all faith in you. It's so garbage (to use a metaphor Batty probably would have) it's the only bin/wheely bin/dumpster/insert name of refuse container that the garbage men would refuse to take if it was left out by the side of the road.

Even binmen have standards.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Lucem Ferre

I liked it.

Edit: It's kind of like aggrotech music. Where it all sounds like almost the exact same song so if you don't like one you won't like the rest.

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Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.

The Batlord

Lucem, Lucem, Lucem. You make it so easy to make fun of your hair.

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Key

It's a pretty good album.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard

yeah, i think it's pretty solid as well. not as good as rodeo but you know.

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Music Blog / RYM / Last.fm / Qwertyy's Journal of Music Reviews and Other Assorted Ramblings

The Batlord

Yeah, you don't have good taste in hip hop, you just have a high tolerance for really monotonous, coma-inducing rappers. At least I recognize that ICP suck.

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Thelonious Monkey

I dunno man, it just sounds like really good garbage.