Smashing Pumpkins ****ing Suck Balls!
 

Billy Corgan is an annoying ****, the band's music is vastly miss over hit, and I'm glad their drummer is dead.

Discuss!

Your mom ****ing sucks balls

I like some of their stuff. Corgan is pretty unbearable though. I'll give you that.

Like I said, they have some good songs, and I haven't listened to everything they've put out by a longshot, but after buying Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness (worst. album title. ever.) I lost what interest I'd had in exploring them further. Like, I was convinced from the singles I liked that I'd love the album, but it just never clicked with me at all. I was still a non-metal pleb so I assumed I was just not getting it, but after a while I just had to admit that the album was boring as all ****. I'd honestly rather listen to a Nickelback album. They might be bland, but at least I don't find their music to be insufferable or trying to hard to the point that it actually becomes a chore to make it through a single song. Nickelback's poorly written songs are straight-forward enough that they aren't actually offensive to the ear, just a waste of time.

i like that siamese album thing

it was good

I don't know if they suck balls, but they certainly passed me by. The other day my friend put on one of their albums, and another friend started singing along immediately.

I asked who it was, and they looked at me like I'd just asked if I could ass**** their mothers.

When they told me, I just shrugged. I listened to the album--I think it was Siamese Dream--but it was pretty derp.

There's definitely some snooze in there. Corgan seemed to REALLY want to include strings and pianos to get his super smart boner off but there are some great tracks off that album like "Zero", "To Forgive", and "An Ode to No One".

Siamese Dream really is the album that I go back to. I hate "Tonight" but I love the fuzz that seems to exist all over the whole of the record. "Silverf*ck" is a great track.

:rolleyes:

this is the pinnacle of rock

I really like the song "Mayonaise" off Siamese Dream. There's also a really cool video of them performing Live At The Metro in August 1993.

Here it is:

They're ok.

Yeah I won't pretend they couldn't do a good Melvins impersonation. If only they'd contented themselves with that.

You actually paid money for one of their albums lol

I think they're pretty good and dubbed some of their stuff from someone I knew with **** taste in music but I sure as **** didn't spend my own money on it

That must make you feel like a rat in a cage

You're probably wasting money on gas to go piss on the drummer's grave

I didn't know their drummer died btw.

I actually downloaded some of Corgan's solo stuff and think it's ok

I didn't pay for it, though

I can see how that could be upsetting

It was nice when they had a little edge with that rat in a cage song, and they were fairly popular at the time that was released. They have some good radio tunes, but it's meh for me. So I'll agree with the rest of the OP, except to say that I won't fault Smashing Pumpkins for having a drummer who is still alive.

Smashing Pumpkins sucks and should not have been allowed to make music.

:nono:

:yeah:

Smashing Pumpkins are what Radiohead would be if they tried to be good but still sucked.

So the Pumpkins are Radiohead?

It's a conspiracy.

Both.

I got it used so I didn't pay full price, but yeah. I want my money back.

They have Mellon Collie at the used cd store by my job. They want 9 dollars for it!!

Well, if I'm gonna **** on these turds I might as well give them a chance to wow me instead. It's been years since I listened to this and I don't even remember how I felt about it, so aside from a few songs I remember this is basically a blind review...






1. Cherub Rock - 4:58: Ah, one of the songs I remember not sucking. Starting off a rock album with a badass song with a badass riff and a badass guitar tone is always a good idea. And the more melodic, watered-down shoegaze going on underneath actually works.

But I'm still left not as impressed as I remember. All that stuff is cool, but this still feels like a poor man's MBV without the ambition. Pretty much SP's modus operandi in a nutshell, but this is still one of their actual good attempts at least.

And Corgan's singing is just kinda there. I realize he was trying to channel shoegaze but he doesn't capture the way that those bands utilize singing as a way to evoke atmosphere.

2. Quiet - 3:42: More raw shoegaze-lite, with half the effort and half the results. The first song had some actual presence but this just feels like its little brother whose name you can't really remember. Quasi-yawn.

"Cherub Rock" was nearly five-minutes-long, but didn't feel overlong, while this song isn't even four minutes, and already needs to end.

3. Today - 3:20: Oh yeah, this song. I remember this as being one of the singles I actually really liked. Totally overwrought but catchy enough, and with enough actual progression to leave a solid impression.

Unfortunately now that there are more quiet moments I have to listen to the actual lyrics, but luckily they're merely lame instead of vomit-inducing.

But yet again I find this song more relatively dull than when I was younger. Not a true winner, but I am still entertained to a respectable extent.

4. Hummer - 6:57: Oh what the ****! Seven minutes? I think this might be where the album turns. A minute-and-change of dull riffing that wants to be more creative than it is, followed by some dull quiet **** I've already forgotten.

Is it just me, or does this sound like a tepid combination of shoegaze and some sneaky cock rock don't-call-it-a-power-ballad.

BORED! All this silly soloing feels right off a GNR song, and makes little impression since it's drowned out by all the feedback, though that might be a mercy. **** GNR.

Corgan definitely feels like he's trying to write a song with more complexity than usual, but it's just not working. I'm still listening to the song and I don't remember how it goes. There has so far been nothing at all memorable or even particularly catchy.

Little more than a minute to go and I now have to suffer through some fakeass "fragile" singing and limpdicked guitar. Yep, this is about what I expected, and exactly what made me hate Mellon Collie.

5. Rocket - 4:07: Please have some balls, please have some balls, please have some balls...

I guess there's at least one nut on display. Not a bad riff, but I don't trust it.

Damn it, I was waiting for the song to do something, but I think it's just going to keep doing this decent, but monotonous riff with Corgan singing in a who-the-****-cares voice about who the **** cares.

I'll give them this. Smashing Pumpkins were masters of making music you could swear you're supposed to love but can't quite summon the energy to give a **** about.

Is this done yet? No? Still a minute? Damn.

6. Disarm - 3:17: And of course I've heard this. We all have. I know I liked this back in the day, but I have no faith that my current mood will leave me with the same opinion. It's overwrought (natch), and the melody would be kinda nice if the bells and strings weren't so goofy, but it's only three-minutes-long, so I can't imagine it overstaying its welcome by much.

I could swear they were stealing just a bit from "The Unforgiven" but I can't be sure. Wouldn't be surprised though. Okay I've "enjoyed" this enough and would be perfectly happy to "enjoy" the next song.

Come on. Come on. There we go.

7. Soma - 6:40: A song I haven't heard that starts with guitar that could double as lame harp music. Yay. Teenagers are dumb and have too much money. If they didn't this wouldn't have gone... QUADRUPLE PLATINUM?!?!?!

Kill yourself nineties.

Oh no! It's almost seven-minutes-long. I'm confident in saying that this will be the low point of the album thus far. Not even halfway done. Sigh...

Well it's moderately picked up at around the halfway mark. Still don't care. I can count the number of halfway memorable songs on this dropped deuce of an album on literally three fingers.

Just ****ing end already. ****. The last minute could not possibly be more dull.

8. Geek U.S.A. - 5:14: Hell yeah. A badass song that's actually badass. At this point I don't even mind that it's over five-minutes-long.

Alright maybe I mind a little. They insist on inserting those pointless soft rock moments that just kill the momentum of the song, and without those I imagine they could probably have a three-minute-riff fest that would truly knock my head out of the park.

But clearly Corgan is intent on impressing us all with just how diverse a songwriter he is, so **** him. That is a seriously nice sludge section at four-something-minutes.

9. Mayonaise - 5:49: Son of a bitch. More tepid nonsense I guess the *******s can't have any asskicking without making sure to sap it up ten seconds later. Wouldn't want to fool anyone into thinking that they could put together an album with a sensible track order. And why is this almost six-minutes long?!

Mother. ****ing. ****s.

I can just start to feel my boredom becoming a physical force moving through my body, calling me to start skipping tracks, but I have too much integrity for that, believe it or not. I'll just let my boredom transform into blinding rage with which to blast this ****ing album when I finally get to the... nine-minute song... two tracks away...

Excuse me, I just threw up in my mouth a little. It was more enjoyable than this song and considerably less forgettable.

Oh thank god, it's almost done!

10. Spaceboy - 4:29: Come on, **** heap, gimme some rif***e. Damn. Lame strumming. Big ****ing surprise. I hope this album gets raped.

Please ****ing kill this uninterested vagina of a song. There is no possible way that the band was excited about this song. It's just so... so... how many words for dull and unmemorable are there anyway? I can't keep using the same ones, and this album doesn't motivate me to go out of my way and check a Thesaurus. My spite is a listless thing at the moment.

11. Silverfuck - 9:13: Ah ****. This thing. ****.

**** **** **** **** ****. ****!!! I don't wanna listen to a nine-minute Smashing Pumpkins song. I don't even care that it's starting with a halfway decent riff, or that it's not coma-inducing yet. There's no way this will last for that long. There will be incessant sections in desperate need of Viagra, and not a god damn thing to make me care about anything.

The guitar tone is nice and abrasive, but I have now lost my faith in Smashing Pumpkin's ability to write legitimately good riffs except as a fluke. The guitar is just... good, and that's about it.

And there is the come down. No effete noodling, and the minimalistic percussion is actually kinda cool, but now I am allowed the honor of concentrating on Billy Corgan's totally sincere whining. **** you, bitch!

"Bang bang you're dead, holding your hand," is now officially my new lyrical enemy. I hope Billy Corgan gets raped.

Thank you for getting back to the actual riffs? Eh, whatever. Kill yourselves and your children anyway. Oh my god there's not even a minute left. There is a god.

12. Sweet Sweet - 1:39: A sweet sweet mercy at only a minute-thirty-nine seconds long.

Lol. The songs starts with Who-the-****-Cares saying, "Alright, this take? Don't even give a ****." I don't know why they didn't just start every song with that sample.

And this sappy **** turd is still too long.

13. Luna - 3:21: Oh thank ****ing Jesus, only one song left to go and it's not even that long! This album went from kinda good, to kinda decent, and very quickly to an ordeal of indifferent contempt. **** this album, **** the Smashing Pumpkins, and **** you.

Still two minutes to go. Come on. Hurry up. I wanna go watch Avatar: The Last Airbender. The show, not the movie. It's pretty ****ing awesome so far. A much better cartoon than this is an album.

Oh yeah, this song sucked. Doesn't matter why. It just did. Peace out, homies.

Yo Battard, get your facts straight!!!

It was a backup musician, Jonathan Melvoin, who died of the heroin overdose. He was only 34 y/o. The Smashing Pumpkins drummer, Jimmy Chamberlin, was arrested on possession charges.

lol @ that review

I think the good songs are better than you give them credit for but totally agree with you about the length of the bad songs

It's weird the way so many bands decide to make their most uninteresting songs the longest ones on the album. Books and movies are often like that too. They're not just bad because they're long; there's nothing good about them to begin with. So what? Do they get in a conference and say what should we do with this terribly boring riff? I know let's stretch it out for 9 minutes! WTF???

That's too bad. But at least we got an associate if nothing else.

I'll say it again. Mellon Collie was great, Siamese Dream was decent.

I compared them to Nickelback earlier, but a more accurate comparison would be Oasis. They ripped off bands before them, but whereas Oasis did so to create simple pop songs with an easily definable sound, Smashing Pumpkins only had a definable sound on the surface, but were actually an awkward mishmash of all of their influences that kill the ears.

Siamese Dream was... decent... I guess. But Mellon Collie is a trial.

They're all tepid and bland versions of genres that could potentially be interesting?

That is so super awesome. Too bad it didn't result in any music that's worth listening to.

batbitch you are going to hell for that review

After me?

Except that they both took genres before them and watered them down to make music palatable to the greater masses. Especially Oasis.

Pretty sure plenty of critics said the same things about them. Plenty of people in the know hated the band at the time.

Plenty of people also like at least a couple Nickelback songs. I like "Animals" and "Rockstar", and yet that doesn't make Nickelback a good band.

oh my god thats disgusting

Unzip my pants

Put cock in mouth.

Now you're talking.

I understand, but I don't see that as any worse than liking Britney Spears. And I love Britney Spears. It's all garbage, but it's fun garbage.

I can understand why others would like what they do. I'm not saying that anybody who likes their music has no taste whatsoever, and if I did then I was just trying to be funny. But to me I hate them.

And perhaps I was just in the wrong mood to give them even a ghost of a chance with that review. I'd just created an anti-Smashing Pumpkins thread, and earlier listened to most of the first disc off of Mellon Collie... as background music, so I probably wasn't in the best state of mind to be open-minded about them.

But I was definitely honest in how I felt about Siamese Dream when I was listening to it. The songs I liked I liked less than what I remembered, most of the rest were impossibly dull, and the longer songs were an endurance test. I was not just trying to hate them for the sake of hating them. Or at least I was trying not to let that color my opinion as much as possible.