When bands don't play the song right...

**Frownland** · 01-28-2016, 06:57 AM

He got a week long boot for childish insults and name calling.

Black Francis · 01-28-2016, 07:48 AM

Hopefully he'll learn a thing or two from this incident and comeback with a more relaxed attitude.

Mr. Charlie · 01-28-2016, 09:31 AM

I didn't see him behaving all that differently to others in this thread. Musicbanter can on occasion seem hostile to newcomers, so when a newcomer complains of being attacked they may not be throwing their toys out the pram, they may simply be expressing an opinion born from unacclimatisation. I remember this place seemed pretty bitchy when I returned after many months away, and I know of at least one member who left because of the bitchiness (no, I won't say who it was).

Regulars keep leaving. Newcomers seldom stay long. I'd like musicbanter to be busier than it is. Busy like it used to be. So seeing people banned never makes me feel good.

CoNtrivedNiHilism · 01-28-2016, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Francis

Hopefully he'll learn a thing or two from this incident and comeback with a more relaxed attitude.

Bit of high hopes there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Charlie

I didn't see him behaving all that differently to others in this thread. Musicbanter can on occasion seem hostile to newcomers, so when a newcomer complains of being attacked they may not be throwing their toys out the pram, they may simply be expressing an opinion born from acclimatization (I fixed your incorrect spelling for acclimatization. CN.) I remember this place seemed pretty bitchy when I returned after many months away, and I know of at least one member who left because of the bitchiness (no, I won't say who it was).

Regulars keep leaving. Newcomers seldom stay long. I'd like musicbanter to be busier than it is. Busy like it used to be. So seeing people banned never makes me feel good.

There was a clear difference from my perspective. He acted in a certain unfavorable way. He got called out for acting that way and then carrying on like he was the victim. He resorted to name calling and insults when nobody would agree that those involved were being harsh toward him for the way he was handling himself. I think that if you open that door to be treated the exact way Basil was treating others. Anything you get as a consequence of that kind of behavior is entirely justifiable to anyone who brought forth the consequences of how Basil was acting.

I don't think really any one person is bitchy. If people cannot handle a challenging opposing opinion from someone. Don't enter in to a conversation or a debate with them then. You sort of set yourself up for getting put on the spot. Some of us can be a bit too blunt sometimes. But why spare the feelings of someone if they can't handle an adult conversation? I don't want to hand hold in a manner of speaking when I talk to anyone here. If someone can't handle my opinion on something because they just want to be agreed with or can't subjectively talk about it or have an open mind to what I have to say when debating it. Well. It really is not my problem.

grindy · 01-28-2016, 10:07 AM

^Charlie is very hippie-ish in those things and while I don't exactly roll like he does, it's still something I find very likeable and he does tend to have a fresh and often fairer POV about MB conflicts.
And yeah, to be honest, there was some ganging-up (me included) and Urban was being a dick.
Just sayin'.

CoNtrivedNiHilism · 01-28-2016, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grindy

^Charlie is very hippie-ish in those things and while I don't exactly roll like he does, it's still something I find very likeable and he does tend to have a fresh and often fairer POV about MB conflicts.
And yeah, to be honest, there was some ganging-up (me included) and Urban was being a dick.
Just sayin'.

I am aware of the fact that there was ganging up on Basil. I don't deny it. He could have handled it better and adjusted his stance or perspective on the different views people were expressing, or just in general not being so damn sensitive about it all.

Yeah, Charlie does seem to be that way, I kind of dig the guy too for that. But a bit of conflict now and again isn't such a bad thing.

I guess for myself. I saw Basil just really handling his situation poorly. I decided to attempt helping him. The guy pretty much bit my head off for it and so at that point I said f*ck that guy then, I'm not going to help him if he is dead set on digging his own hole.

Mr. Charlie · 01-28-2016, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoNtrivedNiHilism

Bit of high hopes there.

There was a clear difference from my perspective. He acted in a certain unfavorable way. He got called out for acting that way and then carrying on like he was the victim. He resorted to name calling and insults when nobody would agree that those involved were being harsh toward him for the way he was handling himself. I think that if you open that door to be treated the exact way Basil was treating others. Anything you get as a consequence of that kind of behavior is entirely justifiable to anyone who brought forth the consequences of how Basil was acting.

I don't think really any one person is bitchy. If people cannot handle a challenging opposing opinion from someone. Don't enter in to a conversation or a debate with them then. You sort of set yourself up for getting put on the spot. Some of us can be a bit too blunt sometimes. But why spare the feelings of someone if they can't handle an adult conversation? I don't want to hand hold in a manner of speaking when I talk to anyone here. If someone can't handle my opinion on something because they just want to be agreed with or can't subjectively talk about it or have an open mind to what I have to say when debating it. Well. It really is not my problem.

Why spare the feelings of someone? Because it's more important than proving a point. Remaining respectful and compassionate is boundless; it doesn't impress people in the same way that being rude or cutting or clever does, I know, but, nonetheless, it is infinitely more valuable.

We needn't all agree on everything. Far from it. Debate is wonderful. But it is possible to discuss, to disagree, argue even, without falling into disrespect.

CoNtrivedNiHilism · 01-28-2016, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Charlie

Why spare the feelings of someone? Because it's more important than proving a point. Remaining respectful and compassionate is boundless, it doesn't impress people in the same way that being rude or cutting or clever does, I know, but, nonetheless, it is infinitely more valuable.

We needn't all agree on everything. Far from it. Debate is wonderful. But it is possible to discuss, to disagree, argue even, without falling into disrespect.

I think all of that could have transpired had Basil not taken the road he did with the situation he put himself in. We're not unreasonable. If he does continue to post after his ban is lifted. That is when we can see if he can contribute to this forum and not does be combative. If he goes right to acting the same way. He's out.

Black Francis · 01-28-2016, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Charlie

Why spare the feelings of someone? Because it's more important than proving a point. Remaining respectful and compassionate is boundless; it doesn't impress people in the same way that being rude or cutting or clever does, I know, but, nonetheless, it is infinitely more valuable.

This is why i voted for you as the nicest member.

You're right but he didn't take that road, did he? he went from feeling disrespected to trying to disrespect everyone he could while instigating a losing battle. if the guy would've just let things go he would still be here but instead he decided to take on well known members of MB with a cocky attitude that just rubbed ppl the wrong way.

I think he could fit in around here once ppl get used to his personality and he lightens up a little.

Trollheart · 01-28-2016, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Charlie

Why spare the feelings of someone? Because it's more important than proving a point. Remaining respectful and compassionate is boundless; it doesn't impress people in the same way that being rude or cutting or clever does, I know, but, nonetheless, it is infinitely more valuable.

We needn't all agree on everything. Far from it. Debate is wonderful. But it is possible to discuss, to disagree, argue even, without falling into disrespect.

There's a difference between sparing someone's feelings and letting them walk all over you. Let's not forget, it was he who skewed the thread in the direction of pointless and baseless insults. The guy went on as if he had all our numbers, had known us for years, and for someone to start telling you what they believe you are, when that is so far from the truth, is pretty insulting.

As CN says, he didn't even take what could be construed as any helpful criticism well. He had decided he was going to be the target and would not respond to anyone. In the end, his thread's idea was completely lost as it degenerated into namecalling, warnings and eventually a ban. Another successful MB thread, say I!

Seriously, I'd bet good money that if he comes back after his ban (which I don't think he will) it will be for any or all of the following reasons:

1. To pick up right where he left off, probably with something like "Oh I suppose you feel a big man having banned me, Frownland? Well you don't get rid of me that easily!" or somesuch

2. To pick a new fight

3. To act chastened for a short time before blowing up again

I don't see a personality like his changing and I don't see him fitting in here. But maybe I'm wrong: has to happen some time!

01-28-2016, 06:57 AM	#151 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	He got a week long boot for childish insults and name calling. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

01-28-2016, 07:48 AM	#152 (permalink)
Black Francis Out of Place Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: in an abstract house Posts: 4,111	Hopefully he'll learn a thing or two from this incident and comeback with a more relaxed attitude. __________________ "Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

01-28-2016, 10:07 AM	#155 (permalink)
grindy . Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: . Posts: 7,201	^Charlie is very hippie-ish in those things and while I don't exactly roll like he does, it's still something I find very likeable and he does tend to have a fresh and often fairer POV about MB conflicts. And yeah, to be honest, there was some ganging-up (me included) and Urban was being a dick. Just sayin'. __________________ *A smell of petroleum prevails throughout.*

01-28-2016, 09:31 AM	#153 (permalink)
Mr. Charlie Shoo Thoughts Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: These Mountains Posts: 2,308	I didn't see him behaving all that differently to others in this thread. Musicbanter can on occasion seem hostile to newcomers, so when a newcomer complains of being attacked they may not be throwing their toys out the pram, they may simply be expressing an opinion born from unacclimatisation. I remember this place seemed pretty bitchy when I returned after many months away, and I know of at least one member who left because of the bitchiness (no, I won't say who it was). Regulars keep leaving. Newcomers seldom stay long. I'd like musicbanter to be busier than it is. Busy like it used to be. So seeing people banned never makes me feel good.