The Batlord

Not conforming to TH's fascist NWO = doing nothing.

__________________

Trollheart

No, in fairness he didn't, but if you're going to listen to an album and not write about it, what is the point, within the context of this thread? Why bother, other than just to listen to the album? Do you want to hear someone say of your rec "I liked it" or "I hated it" or would you prefer them to expand on that a little?

Terrapin, tell me how it would work if you were doing this? Someone recs you let's say a Marillion album. What happens next? Shut up Batty... I'm not being obtuse here, I'm actually actively trying to understand what you would do differently, because I honestly can't see it. If Batty and Frown say let people listen to albums and review them whenever they want, I don't agree but I understand their proposal. Yours, I am at sea about. So what would you actually do, if not review, speak about, write about, give an opinion about, that album?

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Frownland

Cowboys, choirs, and cheese. Boring, but not particularly offensive. Torture rating: 15%

__________________

Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

The Batlord

Pwned.

Edit: Hey, it's that song from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back!

__________________

grindy

Manowar - Gods Of War

Overture to the Hymn of the Immortal Warriors

Lame orchestral intro, with lame choir and a super-lame melody.
It could be the music for some nineties adventure game or something like that.

The Ascension

Starts out 'orchestral' again. Do they seriously have two intros?
I can see how this might be regarded as one of the ****tier albums of this already ****ty as hell band.
Now he's speaking something with a ridiculous 'badass' voice.
I'm not even gonna try to understand the concept and lyrics, the music will be torture enough.
Interestingly this also sounds like some cut-scene from a video game.
And the singing starts. Still no metal, more like a cheesy musical.

King of Kings

And the metal starts. It's so generic, that it doesn't even really suck.
Damn those lyrics, they are so childishly simple and up-front, that it's impossible not to listen to and understand them.
And we're back to spoken word. And the musical part from the previous track is back.
Is the whole album just a few parts randomly shuffled together?
Generic heavy metal solo #12 brings a little relief from the sucky singing.

Army of the Dead, Part I

Some cheesy choir chanting here. It seems to be just a short interlude. Yep, it is. Lazy ****ers. Lol at the ridiculous high note sung at the end.

Sleipnir

Again sound from a video game cut-scene (Spooky voice speaking, horses neighing, coconuts being struck against each other.
Oh right, it's probably about Odin's horse.)
And again generic mid-tempo metal, with generic wannabe epic keyboards in the background at times.
For some reason I really don't mind it though. I have to listen to ****ty heavy metal at my dad's all the time,
so I might be at least partially immune to it.

Loki God of Fire

Just saw that this album is the lowest rated of theirs on RYM.
But I probably wouldn't really notice the difference between this and their 'good' albums.
Although they might be at least shorter. This is soooo long.
And BTW, this is another genric mid-tempo song. Really nothing to really hold on to. Elevator music.
Wait... is Loki really the god of fire? Looked it up, he doesn't seem to be. Mythology fail.

Blood Brothers

A ballad. Cute.
The cover was blocked on RYM, so I got curious.
It's pretty hilarious.
Tits though, so I won't post it here.
Meanwhile they really cheese it up on this one.
The high note sung in the background towards the end cracks me up.
No way they take themselves seriously.

Overture to Odin

Oh ****. It's called overture, but it's almost four minutes.
Will this all be pseudo-orchestral noodling?
It really is. Booooring.

The Blood of Odin

I'm starting to think this album might be, at least partly, about Odin.
The whole track is cheap dramatic spoken word over some more video game epic music.

The Sons of Odin

After all this synth **** another generic metal songs seems almost like a relief.
It's still terribly generic and boring.
Still, it goes on for five minutes, after which the speaking starts again.
They sure padded the length on this one.
I love how every song's ending is supposed to be super epic, but ends up being extremely hilarious.

Glory Majesty Unity

Yeah, I get it, it was a dark and stormy night. Also wolves.
Again with the spoken word. This is soooooo lazy.
I start to understand why even fans hate it.

Gods of War

Will at least the title track be a real song?
It's over seven minutes long, so it'll be mind-numbingly boring either way.
Some chanting at the beginning, then again the orchestral stuff. Pad, pad, pad.
One of the most drawn out endings I've ever heard.
They do this getting faster and more chaotic towards the end before the riff returns bit for a whole minute.

Army of the Dead, Part II

Another interlude. This time it's organ and choir, then some a capella singing.
Thankfully it's short.


Odin

Yes, they love them some Odin.
Another lame, drawn out song.


Hymn of the Immortal Warriors

Another lame, drawn out song.
Another lame, drawn out song.
Another lame, drawn out song.
Another lame, drawn out song.
Another lame, drawn out song.
Some super-cringeworthy choir singing towards the end.
I thought being high while listening to it might be a mistake, but it makes me appreciate more how funny it is.

Die for Metal

The opening riff sounds like I've heard it somewhere before.
Probably generic metal riff #8.
It's a bonus track and the absence of the albums conceptual **** makes it much more bearable.
I imagine this song is fun live and good to sing along to.
Not that it doesn't suck, but it might actually be the best song on the album.
It's still two minutes too long though.
-------------------------------------------------

This album sucks undeniably and deserves all the hate it seems to get.
On the other hand it wasn't that difficult listening to it.
Still, despite being amusing in its cheesy way, its length and lack of any kind of creativity make it somewhat a chore to sit through.
Torture rating: 23%

__________________
A smell of petroleum prevails throughout.

The Batlord

If "Die for Metal" sounds familiar then it may be because I've spammed it all over the forum and played it in plug.

And Loki actually is the God of Fire. I looked it up.

__________________

grindy

I've never plugged and I've sure as hell never listened to anything you posted.
Well, at least not if it was visibly Manowar.

Okay, I've just seen that the album is based on 'Ring der Nibelungen' where Loki really is a fire god. That's an invention of Wagner though, he most likely confused Loki and Logi. Still kinda justifies Manowar using it this way I suppose.

__________________
A smell of petroleum prevails throughout.

Trollheart

I don't even care. Frownland, that's enough. Well done. At least you did something. It's short, but it still says something. The point I'm making now is that Terrapin seems to want to do nothing, and I don't see how that helps the thread. Also he's the only one I can see advancing that idea.

Does anyone else believe there should be NO reviews, comments, points made on these albums? Is anyone feeling that? Would you really go to the trouble of reccing an album to torture someone just to have them say they liked it or hated it and nothing more? I can't believe anyone would want to bother doing that. Am I wrong?

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Terrapin_Station

Where did I propose that you don't listen to the album or pretend you do?

And I did make a couple comments about the Freiheit album, by the way.

Terrapin_Station

I'd prefer that people say as little or as much as they would like to say.They tell you whether they liked it or not, or at least assign some 0-100 score per whether they listened all the way through without "suffering," and they're as verbose or laconic as they'd like to be, with folks being cool with different people approaching that differently.