The Batlord

Alright, be honest, dude. You didn't have anything to actually use for a cover, so you just took a tilted pic of some house and hoped people would assume it was artistic or some ****, didn't you? You can be honest with Ol' Batlord.

Seriously, though. If that's the best you can do, then just steal something off the internet and pass it off as your own. It would be the lesser of two evils.


1. "on the mountain" 10:13: So, are capital letters too mainstream or something? Anyways, just to let you know, up until... now, I've been listening to Ke$ha. So, just know that unless you wow me, I'll be thinking about listening to Ke$ha instead. I hope that eats at you.

So. Feedback. Drone. Basement production. Holy ****! Vocals! Wasn't expecting that.

Sorry, broham. This sounds like an awful indie folk singer playing boring black metal or shoegaze (doesn't matter which) at half the speed of smell. Thinking about Ke$ha.

You know she's suing both her producer/manager/whatever and her record label? Like, apparently there are some sexual assault charges. The manager drugged her or something, and this **** had been going on for years, and she's suing her label for basically letting all this go on and looking the other way. I don't exactly know all the specifics, cause I only learned about it yesterday, but **** sounds ****ed up. I'm worried about what it'll mean for her new album, since she's suing her record label and all.

Only a couple minutes left with the song. Still bored. Hoped I could ride it out with Ke$ha gossip, but alas, tis not to be.

Thank god. It's over.

2. "just wanna fall asleep" 26:21: Son of a bitch. Twenty-six minutes? Really? Do you want me to do to you what I did to Frownland? Cause it's probably about to happen. Unless I can find more **** to say about Ke$ha of course, cause I think that would be far more insulting than just trashing your boring music.

Alright, this is a lot more interesting than your last- PSYCHE!!! Snooze.

Apparently Ke$ha just sold her house for 1.8 million dollars. Looks pretty nice too. Made $200,000 profit, so I guess that's nice. I'm assuming she's having money trouble though, since she hasn't released anything in three years and is suing everybody now.

Singer-songwriter Kesha finds a buyer for her Venice bungalow

Yeah, your ****'s still boring BTW. Still just a bunch of lo-fi feedback, but thank god you stopped singing. So, back to Ke$ha...

Damn, her producer, Dr. Luke (not a real doctor), sounds like a ****ing ****. Not only did he allegedly rape her, but he's filed a counter-suit for defamation of character.

God damn it, you're singing again. Song isn't even halfway over.

You should change the background color of your Bandcamp page, too. There's a bunch of black text against a dark-as-**** grey background, and it makes some of it really hard to read.

You should also consider making your project instrumental only.

Now you're switching to straight indie folk? Wut.

Were you just banging on a desk?

God damn it, still nine minutes to go. This is like listening to pubes having obnoxiously loud sex, but you can tell they're faking, so it's just loud and annoying without being hot.

****, man. Apparently Ke$ha was in rehab last year for bulimia. Sucks. I don't know which would be worse to have: that or anorexia? I mean, at least you get to eat with bulimia, but then it ****s up your throat. And if you eat in public, then you have to go use some nasty public toilet, but I guess if you're a millionaire like Ke$ha then you're probably going to be eating at places with nice toilets. The kind of places where they're used to models throwing up in their bathrooms and then snorting coke off the toilet lids. That's class.

Almost done. The next two songs are only eleven minutes long total, so I guess this won't be so bad. I'm pretty much out of Ke$ha news though.

3. "sounds of industry" 06:21: That percussion is probably the best thing about this album so far. Nice reverb on that ****. Don't ruin it by singing.

Is that piano? Just a keyboard or something? Guitar that sounds like keys somehow? Either way, bored.


Can't wait to blast that **** when this is over.

4. "give me the phone back" 05:08: We both know that's not a real song title.

Just waiting this boring **** out now. At least you haven't tried singing since that long ass twenty-six minute screwdriver-in-the-eye fest.

Thirty seconds. **** yes.

Done. Dude, you suck. Like, vacuum cleaners ain't got **** kinda suction on you. I'm glad I gave you ICP to listen to you in your thread. Maybe you can pick some pointers up from them. And you should never, ever sing again. At least not until your voice cracks.

Final verdict:

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