Forum Member Album Reviews

[Trollheart]

All right: let's do this thing!

Okay, so the Christmas dinner has settled in my stomach, the dishes are done, the crackers pulled (no, not the hot neighbour! I wish!) and all that's left is consistently terrible Christmas telly.

Or, or... I could start reviewing members' albums. Well, Noel Edmonds' Christmas Holiday Video Family Accidents does look tempting, but no. Let's see what the Santa of Music has brought me this year.

Cheap Guitars --- Planktons Odyssey --- 2015 (Plankton)



Planktons Odyssey - Cheap Guitars <----click the link to listen

It's no secret that I've loved Plankton's music since I first heard it. In fact, he's such a guitar god that I've decided to rate every album here on a scale of him, as you'll see below. This is his newest album, and though I believed that to be his daughter in negative on the cover, he assures me it is not, and is instead some random picture he came across while trawling the net. But who really cares about the picture anyway (though it is a good idea for an album cover): let's get to the music!

“Streetwise” has a deceptive easy strum opening before it kicks into life, wailing and screaming in total seventies hard rock heaven. Chula, you'll love this! If any of you haven't heard Plankton's music before (shame on you: rectify that immediately! It should be a requirement for all new members) let me tell you his albums are almost always instrumental, based around the guitar on which he is so proficient, and usually in the rock sphere. This has a great feel of Zep and Free about it, and as he normally does, Plankton plays all instruments, almost exclusively guitars with some percussion which I believe is rendered via a computer programme, though I could be wrong there. This rocks along with passion and power, with some of that fine soloing those of us who have become acquainted with his music are so familiar with. Great start, punches things off right from the word go.

There's a definite feeling of reggae to “Purdie Plank Shuffle”, and it's interesting to hear some vocals, though they seem mostly just to be spoken, or shouted. The percussion here is particularly effective, though of course the axe takes centre stage. There's some lovely almost upright bass before a chopping, slicing guitar cuts into things. It's a long piece, and I'll readily admit it's not what I consider one of his classics, like “Screaming at an empty canvas” or the monumental “Son of Soothsayer” from Krill, or indeed "Hollow City limits" from Whale. The shouting seems out of place, and I kind of feel like I did when I listened to “Shoveled”, the only track I didn't enjoy on Krill. A lovely walking shuffle bass as we head towards the fourth minute improves things, but personally I think this track is too long for what it is.

Happily, rock guitar (not 101, I hasten to add!) kicks off “Function 8” and we're back on track as things move along at a nice fast tempo, Plankton letting go his metal dogs, and don't they bite and snap! It's a relatively short song, almost half as long as the second track, but much tighter and not a second of its two and a half minutes is wasted. Sounds like he's really just having a blast here. Someone once said that “Ace of Spades” (God rest ya, Lemmy!) could be the soundtrack to the end of the world. This could certainly serve as the soundtrack to a great car chase scene in a movie. Toning everything back then with the Gary Mooresque “Left alone”, an emotional, moving, gorgeous little ballad with maybe some keys in there? Not sure, but it certainly leaves an impression of wistful memories, reminds me a tiny bit of “Parisienne Walkways” and “The Loner”. Superb. Best track so far.

Not quite sure why it says “Name your price” and every single track is shown as “free”?? Still, if you were naming your price for this it would have to be pretty high. This is classy stuff, which of course we've come to expect, even demand from this guy. And he seldom disappoints. The first signs of electronica in the opening to “Taking the time”, which then marches along on a midpaced beat with some lovely high notes which kind of remind me of Oldfield and Fleetwood Mac. Note: when I say “remind me of” I'm not for an instant suggesting that Plankton is ripping off or copying anyone, just trying to give you a sense of the music he's playing and what comparisons it brings to my mind.

Truly beautiful solo here, this would have to go down as another Blue. And it will. Kind of a celtic influence in parts. The guitar that starts up in the third minute is tremendous, and everything comes together then for the big finish. “The caves” opens on a big synth intro, very dramatic, very luxuriant, like something out of a movie, then a slow almost anthemic guitar rises into the mix. This one is great but way too short, and is followed by another electronic monster in “Eschaton”. Plankton loves using odd words or sometimes making them up (“Fluxstration”, anyone?) so I have no idea what this is meant to convey, but it's kind of dark and powerful, with a punching beat and lots of synthy noises criss-crossing the melody. I see it's just shy of six and a half minutes, making it the longest track on the album by a long way.

Great solo now cutting through, though the synths remain strong and in the foreground, and really, we're halfway through before I even realise it. Beautiful kind of strings sound coming in now with I think a phased effect on one of the other guitars, then as we move into the fourth minute the synthscape grows more powerful as the guitar fades back, then everything stops before it all slams back in on sharp guitar and faster drumbeats. The percussion indeed sort of takes over in the last minute, the synth driving everything towards the song's conclusion, the guitar herding all before it like a snappy sheepdog. Kind of a folky feel to “Out of time”, with what surely must be Spanish guitar opening it. I think this sounds familiar to something off the Krill album; it sounds like I've heard it, or something like it, from him before. Though that could just be me. Electric guitar now joining in before it quickly fades down, then back as the positions are reversed and the Spanish drops out, to be replaced by a hard, punching but midpaced electric.

Kind of almost like two different tracks, as the electric guitar sets up a new kind of melody and takes the tune to new places, getting harder and rockier as it goes along. “Creeper” does what it says on the tin, crawling and slithering along like something stalking you through the hot South American jungle, always on your trail, always out of sight, breathing down your neck but when you turn around it's nowhere to be seen. Something of a fist-pumper, this one. Reminds me of Kamelot, that kind of progressive metal feel. Nice point in the third minute when everything stops for just a few drum beats on their own, then the guitar comes back in. And we end on “Bad guitar blues”, which Plankton has included as a bonus track. And is it the blues! It's also got a vocal; don't know if it's him, but if so he certainly manages to sound very black! I guess if anyone buys this (what do I mean if?) he'll have to put the old “e” on the lyric here! Superb guitar of course; is someone playing a piano there in the background? I'm sure they are. Great way to end the album; should probably have included it as standard though.


TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

Streetwise
Purdie plank shuffle
Function 8
Left alone
Taking the time
The caves
Eschaton
Out of time
Creeper
Bad guitar blues

So, the verdict? Another excellent album from the man who brought you Krill and Whale, and if you ever doubted he could play, then this album will surely blow those doubts away in a fusilade of riffs and solos, and some really fine songwriting. This guy just goes from strength to strength, and I'm sure will astound us with another classic before too long. But for now, Cheap Guitars keeps the legend alive! Be part of it.

Rating:

[Trollheart]

Sonic Architechture --- The Architect --- 2015 (The Mystic)

The first time I, or any of us, heard this album it was on the back of a “listen-to-my-music-after-one-post” intro, and we all pretty much jumped on the guy for breaking the rules. In fairness to him, he relented and removed the link, though I haven't seen him around since, which would kind of back up perhaps the theory that he was only here to share and get feedback on his music. What we did all agree on, before it was deleted, was that his music was in fact phenomenal, and this led me to agree to review his album, which is something I normally only do after I've got to know the person in question. But this was/is so good I felt I had to make an exception.

“Flight” opens the album and it's a really impressive very Chopin-like run on the piano which immediately piques your interest: this is no ordinary Joe bashing at a keyboard or using a computer program to simulate or enhance the sounds. The tune begins to build then, on what I think may be minor chords though I can't say for sure, with a very dark, melancholy air, slow and with a certain sense of perhaps the Orient about them. He says in his notes to the YouTube this is from that he only uses two instruments, but he certainly makes it sound like more. There's a fantastic fast bassy downward run to end the piece and we're into a shorter one, “A meditation on dissonance”, which again begins with slow piano with some really nice bass and reminds me at times of the work of Tony Banks, then “Harmonic rhythms: hidden geometric patterns in a falling snowflake” has a gorgeous rippling organ sound, moving at quite a pace and with a sense of tiny tinkling bells, like glockenspiel or xylophone about it.

Sounds quite like the early work of Vangelis, SKY or Tomita, with a sort of a feeling of Yes in the later sections. For a four-minute piece it goes in rather more quickly than I had expected, and we're into “Loosing Ludwig”, which not surprisingly has a very Beethoven mood to the piano, slow, stately, grand, powerful. It's only two minutes long but so far something of a highlight on the album. Kind of returns to a degree to the piano gymnastics of the opener, and certainly continues to demonstrate how well this man can play that instrument. “Miles away” brings in a sort of jazzy sound to the mix, with a smooth bassline and shining piano. I'm no fan of jazz as you all know, so this doesn't do a lot for me, but he does play it well and if you like this genre you'll probably be able to appreciate it better than I can. He does integrate some clever guitar lines, presumably made on the Korg he uses.

“Sine pluvia temporum: rain without time” is another short piece, just over two minutes, utilising very synthy, spacey themes, again rather like Vangelis, more a case of sounds than music and I guess symbolising the falling of rain in an abstract way, in which he succeeds very well. The big epic is “The journey” which lasts for exactly ten minutes, and opens on another classical piano run, very dramatic, before settling down into a really nice etude which moves slowly along like a rolling river, little flourishes and runs possibly representing the rise and pull of the tides and currents. In the fourth minute the tune takes something of an upswing, as a jazzy break comes through and the tempo increases playfully, thick bass piano notes though interposing a sense of order and control over the melody. In the final three minutes then the big classical piano wave returns, slowing things down (as the river reaches its destination/ the end of its journey?) and it's a soft and sedate amost to the end, until a big run takes the final moments and brings this composition to a close.

Oddly, I would have though “Bach to the future” would have been based around the composer's classics, but it's more an electronica, Jean-Michel Jarre style bouncing number with chattering synths and buzzing keys, then “A memory” is a reflective, soft, ethereal piano piece while “El tango” does what you expect, and gives you tango rhythms against a salsa beat; it's okay, but not I feel as good as some of the compositions here. We're back to rolling, rippling piano for “The celestial chords of ethereal ascension”, another somewhat classical piece though he does imbue it with a lot of strength and majesty. Also uses, purposely or not I don't know, the descending piano intro from The Boomtown Rats' “I don't like Mondays”! Coming in very slowly and gradually then, “A sunrise” is built around a simple piano melody with what sounds like harp, very graceful and relaxing.

Much more uptempo and sharper is the bass run which opens “The soul rises: neo soul”, a thumping, shuddering piece which gives the impression more of flight, chase, pursuit than the title seems to indicate. If he had called this “On the run” or something similar I think it might have made more sense to me. However I hear the soul influences coming in, and maybe he's trying to depict the rise of motown or something like that. If so, I can see where he's coming from. The closer is another long one, almost eight minutes of “Samadhi”, rising on a nice smooth piano line which then picks up on a really nice combination of bass and drums, kind of a tribal rhythm going, with elements of jazz too.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

Flight
A meditation on dissonance
Harmonic rhythms: hidden geometric patterns in a falling snowflake
Loosing Ludwig
Miles away
Sine pluvia temporum: rain without time
The journey
Bach to the future
A memory
El tango
The celestial chords of ethereal ascension
A sunrise
The soul rises: neo soul
Samadhi

There's no doubt this guy has real talent, and I hope he's stil around to read this review. His main focus is of course piano but given that he's using the Korg I'd love to hear some more instruments --- brass, guitar, maybe mandolin or harmonica. I'm not sure if he's even putting this up for sale or has any intentions of going pro, but if so, then I think he may have a very good chance of making it in the world of music.

Rating:

[Trollheart]

Avulsion --- Daydream Society --- 2016 (YorkeDaddy)

Officially not released until Friday, I've used my contacts to get an advance copy (yeah) and review the new album from Daydream Society. I had to check out the weird title --- did not know the word “avulsion” was real, but apparently it is --- to find out that it means to remove something by tearing it away, and also, in reference to rivers, creating a new channel for the river to run through. I'm not sure which, if either, YorkeDaddy intends the title to refer to, but it's certainly interesting, although it sort of uncomfortably sounds like revulsion. Anyway, let's have a listen and see what he's come up with for his fourth album under the DS name.

“Metanoia” gets us going, and immediately I'm reminded of Holst's “Mars: the Bringer of War” in the low runup and fadein, but then of course it's nothing like that classical masterpiece, and comes in very slowly on organ and synth, somewhat droney, much ambient. A minute and a half in and it really has yet to attain any real shape, if it's going to: the piece runs for just under four and a half. Sort of flashes of the opening to “Shine on” also in the rising but low synth. Halfway through now and it's sort of building, but I fear that by the time it reaches anything that I would call an actual melody it will be over. And so it is. Pleasant little sort of abstract opener, I guess it sets us up for the rest of the album, a kind of overture of sorts. Fades out as slowly as it faded in. “Forget the future” has a nice oriental feel to it, with little bells and a sort of a ticking melody playing out behind while that rising synth from the opener slides through the track again. It's nice, it's easy, it's ambient but so far it's not really created any sort of a tune I could pick out. Pretty expressionist I suppose. And this one too is over before anything can really be said to happen.

Of course, Daydream Society's music is different to that of cloudcover, Yorke's other project, and this is basically ambient to the max, as I found out when reviewing For Now, so perhaps melodies and song structures, as such, should not be expected all that much. Still, makes it a little hard to review. I hear basically the same sort of thing in “Take what you want”, although now I hear more bouncy synth jumping in and again, with my very limited experience of electronic, never mind ambient music, I can only compare this to Jean-Michel Jarre. It has that kind of almost organic mixed with mechanical sound that the French composer does so well. There's a little more heart in this, but it's still leaving me with a feeling of missing something, wanting something. It quickens up near the end and the beginnings of a tune manifests itself, but again it's almost over. And now it is, taking us into “Only temporary”, where what sounds like cello or violin opens the piece, very slow and stately. But now there's something that sounds like a really cheap Casio or maybe a mouthorgan? Not sure. Some nice breathing effects add to the atmosphere, and a kind of repeated note that seems slightly out of phase with the rest of the melody works quite well.

Mind you, when that kind of takes over the track it ceases to be engaging. Now it's like one of those annoying car alarms that sound the horn when someone brushes against the car. No, I can't say this is doing it for me at all. Thought we were on to something there. Violin or cello, whatever it is, ushers the tune out, but I feel it's been underused. “Dendrites” has a nice busy synth melody line as soon as it opens, lovely little bit of bass coming in now with some ticking percussion and then a squibbly keyboard flowing all over the place. Again, quite a Vangelis feel to this, circa Spiral and Pulstar era. Like how the percussion drops out and leaves the organ-ish synth to carry the line to the end. Weird, sort of warped feel to “Time will pass”, reminds me of the opening scene in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home where the strange alien probe is trying to communicate with the whales in Earth's oceans, unaware they are all extinct.

There's a much darker, more ominous mood to “Pretend it never happened”, with another deep, rising synth taking charge, and I think I hear vocoder, do I? Do I? Think I do. Yeah I'm sure I do. Again though it's a little too ethereal, too abstract for me to write anything about. Very relaxing. I knew it reminded me of something (here I go again), and now I remember: it's Peter Gabriel's “The nest that sailed the sky” from Ovo. The bassy synth in “Vacancy” is nice, has a vaguely church organ sound with then a kind of scattered drum pattern, almost like falling rain or tribal shakers or something. Nice melody rising on another keyboard at a higher register. Builds up nicely but then stops too abruptly. Lovely opening to “Desperation days”, like a harp or some sort of chimes then a hammered piano(?) bringing in guitar (maybe) and a rising squeal from a synth, or maybe it's an effect.

One thing I will definitely praise YD for here and that's not overstretching the tracks. So far, everything has been in the three to four-minute range, and honestly, if any of these were longer I think they might be in danger of becoming boring. As it is, they seldom outstay their welcome, though I could wish for more actual melody ideas in many of them. But there's certainly nothing I hate, not yet. Not much I can honestly say I love, but nothing I hate. “Lonely, afraid” opens with a bubbling synth, which I have to admit is not what I expected: I thought this would be a piano ballad, but he's kicking it up now with some fast percussion and pads maybe, with something going there in the background that sounds a little like a klaxon. Quite catchy and boppy, again as I say a total surprise. Keeping the tempo high and the music bright and breezy is “Sensations”, where I think I hear a guitar riff flying around. A lot happening in this track and it's quite frenetic really, and now it's slowing down into a very sedate and calm oriental style, approaching the midway point. That takes us to the title track.

With a kind of industrial opening, sounds like a factory or a steam engine, something like that, there's a dark bassy synth slowly coming through the mix with a sense of purpose, perhaps even dark purpose. Feedback guitar now, I think, as the tune crosses the one-minute line, and there's still the feeling of building towards something. A long drawn-out synth chord which manages to kind of sound like a voice takes us into the last minute, and that violin or cello is back before everything fades out on an ambient wave and into “Chapter two” with another rising synth with spacey sounds around it and that kind of “voice” again, but it's over very quickly, being a little over two minutes in length, and the closer then, “Remember me fondly”, with the unmistakable sound of an acoustic guitar joined by soft, lush synth in an almost angelic chorus, some darker piano I think kind of muddying the sound in the background, falling in and out before softer piano takes over.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

Metanoia
Forget the future
Take what you want
Only temporary
Dendrites
Time will pass
Pretend it never happened
Vacancy
Desperation days
Lonely, afraid
Sensations
Avulsion
Chapter two
Remember me fondly

I think this kind of music appeals to two different sets of people in two different ways. The musician, composer, or aficionado of this sort of playing and composition will hear all the subtle little nuances, marvel at the way the instruments are used, nod approvingly or shake his or her head at drum patterns, melodies and effects, and see much more in it than the likes of me would. The casual listener will consider it nice to listen to, but ultimately perhaps a little empty, a little simple. That's of course not to say that it is either of those things, but when reviewing I like to be able to point to certain areas in music, and with Avulsion I really can't. If I was a musician I could speak more about the technical aspects of the album, but as I'm not I have to rely on what I hear and how I interpret it.

Personally, I think For Now was a much better album, but if you enjoy this kind of ambient, dreamy, almost sensual and abstract music, you'll find much to please you in YorkeDaddy's latest effort. As for me, I'm still waiting for the new cloudcover...

Rating:

(Link will be added once the album is officially released...)

[Plankton]

Great write-up on Cheap Guitars!

Some notes:

Eschaton was done by EPOCH6 (a member here) and he graciously offered the track for me to play over. I thought it came out rather splendidly, so I included it in the album. It also fit the flow really well.

Bad Guitar Blues was a BT used to have a bit of fun with a singer friend of mine, and yes that's me singing in the intro, then after the solo my good friend Tina Marie takes the mic.

Purdie Plank Shuffle was made from an instructional drum track that Freebase had posted and used in one of his works. I decided to give it a little love too.

Left Alone was a BT I came across and liked the sad quality of it. One day after my best friend died, I took my pain out on it.

The drum tracks used on the rest are either Hydrogen, or some sample drum track I'd found. As the title suggests, this album was created mostly with a cheap Squier Strat I had purchased over the summer. I wanted to show what could be done even if a person doesn't have access to expensive equipment. To produce something at least listenable with minimal overhead. I play that Strat everyday while my 1k+ guitars sit in their cases. It's not that I don't like my PRS, or my Carvin, but this Strat has a character all it's own, and it brings out the defiant nature in me.

A thousand thank you's to you Trollheart for the listen, the review, and the great rating. I would only suggest that you possibly include a link to the albums you reviewed, so anyone who's interest has been piqued can have access right here, instead of fruitlessly searching for it.

[Trollheart]

The Bleeding Sun --- The Cartridge Family --- 2015 (Plainview)

Not quite sure why Plainview keeps changing his professional name, but then Yorke does it too, so maybe it's just a thing with artists. Bah. Anyway, this is, I think, the second album under the Cartridge Family title, and I've only heard one track off the other one, Greed, which I did like, so I'm not sure what to expect. Let's see what we get.

“White lake” opens proceedings with a nice acoustic guitar and what sounds like violin, very sparse and kind of lonely sounding. Definite sense of melancholy about it. Is that a kind of growl or roar, or is something sneaking up on ... no, it's in the music. Slow, jazzy style drums now adding into the mix, bringing with them a rather unsettling vocal chorus, sort of like if a black metal band did drone? Slightly warped, little scary, but it drops out and leaves the guitar and the hollow drumbeat taking things on into the third minute (this runs for five) then a solo piano comes in for the last minute. It's nice, but again with PV the problem I have is that it all seems to be building towards a song that never quite arrives. Not quite the same as YorkeDaddy's Avulsion, but I just get a vague sense of being cheated at the last. “The divide” is a whole minute longer and has a more uptempo jazzy rhythm with organ and piano, though again no real clear tune is allowed to develop, as, as soon as it seems one is coalescing, he changes it completely. Now we have sharp electric guitar biting in, percussion slowly filtering through, and too often things just fade out to leave almost blank space, then something else comes to take the place of the instrument that was playing, and begin basically a totally new tune. Off-putting, to say the least.

It's all played well; it just frustrates me that just as I'm getting into a rhythm or melody it changes radically and is suddenly something completely different. It's hard to establish a mood, or even decide whether or not you like the track, when it keeps metamorphosing and reinventing itself. Oh, now this is lovely: a really soft and gentle acoustic guitar melody, but sadly I have no doubt that “Heretic” will soon change into something else. Slow, military-style drumming and what sounds like clarinet or flute, very pastoral, but now the dissonance begins. God. Damn. It. Every time. Every god damn time. This hurts my ears! I want to hear music in tune, not out of it. Ah it's gone to hell in a handbasket now. Sounds like he's tuning up his guitar with a flute in his mouth. Sigh. Had such promise but for my money, he's thrown it all away in the cause of being edgy or avant-garde. So close to Green, but there's no chance of that now.

Nice piano with what sounds like someone washing up the dishes after dinner and dropping the cutlery. This is the title track. See, Plainview's music changes so much and crams so many different instruments, textures, melodies and effects into every track it makes it very hard to review. It's almost --- almost – like samples have just been dropped in all over the place. Hard to keep up. I guess you need to be into this sort of thing. There;s some sort of soul piano coming in now, but really, unless something incredible happens I'm just losing interest in this album now. Sorry. Some horns there too but I really can't follow what's happening.

Nice deep church organ to open “Ascended”, then a kind of vibrating (?) guitar line with some staggered synth runs; does give the impression of climbing, perhaps, dizzying heights. Some smoky sax making its way in now. Always time for smoky sax. This is nice. And now some violin. But then of course it all changes and gets into a jazz groove. Sounds like either guitar or fast violin now taking it. I'm gonna give this an Orange, but I don't see any track here making Green sadly. Some sort of crazy feedback now as it heads into the final minute, then some rather nice organ; again, the idea of spiralling upwards is well realised. Violin is back, and that's certainly ascending. Interesting but pointless fact: “Heir”, which is next, is exactly, to the second, the same length as “The divide”. Yeah, I guess I'm that bored. This is driven on a really nice expressive bass line with some horn and again there's a smoky jazz idea running through it.

Well we're at the last track and I'm sorry but I can't say I regret it. Though there have been some lovely musical ideas here they just don't seem to me to have taken shape and when they look like they're about to, they get knocked aside for something totally else. Talk about expect the unexpected! “A life lived” has some nice acoustic guitar and strings synth with actually a really pleasant melody, but again PV has to go warping things and bending my ear. And it ends on a nice organ line.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

White lake
The divide
Heretic
The bleeding sun
Ascended
Heir
A life lived

I think I'll just never get Plainview's music. His idea of changing up things every track just totally frustrates me. I'm sure there's the potential for really nice melodies in there, but he seems to prefer just to mix and match, which is of course his prerogative. But for me, it's another no, and probably should be the last of his albums I'll review. Actually, I've decided: it will be. I don't like running the risk of insulting people I know here, so I'll make a point of confirming this as the last attempt to understand or get into his music, be it Cartridge Family, Deaf Aids or whichever new persona he decides to record under. I wish him good luck, but this is definitely not for me.

Rating:

You can hear the whole thing here: https://thecartridgefamily1.bandcamp.com/releases

[Trollheart]

No Gods, No Music Theory! --- General Disregard --- 2015 (Tristan Geoff)

This is decidedly not my forte, garage/punk rock, so expect a scathing review, though I'll do my best to be objective. To be fair, there are only five tracks on this, though one has such a ridiculously long title I'll be shortening it to two words (you can read the full thing, if you wish, on their bandcamp page, and let me tell you, it makes Fiona Apple look like she's abbreviating hers!), with some of them struggling to reach even one minute, so it shouldn't take long.

Open your mouth and say “Aah!” This may hurt....


The opener is called “Kinda new fang cover but not really”, which means nothing to me. As Tristan noted and accepted, the production values are in the toilet, lodged somewhere near the S-bend, but then I don't think punk or even garage rock is about pristine sound, is it? All I really hear is a grinding guitar doing a kind of a boogie, with some very basic drums, and if there's a vocal there I sure as hell can't hear it. This is the “epic” track, clocking in at two and a half minutes, and to be fair it's not bad, though there's little I can point out about it. Sounds like a jam. “234” is a whole fifty-six seconds long and has a sort of folky/Country feel with even some harmonica. I'm fairly sure I can hear vocals but I have no idea what he's singing. Maybe he needs to buy a microphone! Seriously, it's impossible to make out. Again it's basically a jam.

“White trash anthem” is at least a good title, and has a nice grinding guitar line leading it, sort of reminds me of Mick Ronson's seventies work with Bowie in places. The long-titled track, which I'll just refer to as “My dad”, starts off with a nice chunky guitar sound, but it's pretty low in the mix, then another one squeals out and it's a little better, though not much to be fair. I see Tristan is actually the drummer here. I can seldom separate good drumming from bad, so I'll say he can certainly keep rhythm, but whether he has talent as a sticksman or not I couldn't say. Oh, he also does that harmonica on the earlier track. The final track is “REM with a fuzzbox” and it trips along nicely. Of course the production is what lets this album down, as it's really impossible to hear if there's any good musicianship going here (I think there is) so it's a pity General Disregard didn't wait to do it properly. The legend on their bandcamp page says this was all done in one take with little or no planning. It shows, guys. It shows.

TRACKLISTING (I'm not going to do ratings, as it would be unfair, since I can barely hear most of what's here)

Kinda new fang cover but not really
234
White trash anthem
My dad...
REM with a fuzzbox

Rating: (Get some decent production and we'll talk about a possible higher rating).

You can hear the album here: No Gods, No Music Theory! (2015 Demo) | General Disregard

[Trollheart]

Distant Relative of Nihilism --- The Artist Formerly Known as Jesus the Carpenter --- 2015 (Frownland)

And so we come to Frownland, to whom the concept of a track in single-digit-minutes is at best a frowned-upon (sorry) suggestion, at worst blasphemy. Ten tracks on this, and of those ten, half are over ten minutes. I suppose that's not too bad. I will probably regret saying that about two minutes into the first track. But here we go anyway.

It's the title track and he's just tuning up his --- oh no, wait: that is the actual music, isn't it? Well, only forty-three seconds in and I'm already hating it. That's a new record, I believe. There's plenty of pithy comments I could make about this; I could say how it sounds like there's a train running behind him, how someone's banging on bins, the hare krishnas are walking by, and so on, but I'm tired of exerting even my humour to try to detract from how much I hate his music, so I'm just going to wait and see if anything pops up that I can recognise as a melody and if so I'll comment on it. For now though, it's just noise to me. A fact which does not in any way surprise me. Why it has to be fourteen ****ing minutes long though is somewhat beyond me, unless it can be that Frown just likes torturing his listeners for fun.

Okay, a scrap of actual recognisable music broke out there near the end, but he got it under control. We're on to the second track and it sounds just the same. You know, he said to be brutal, so I'm going to be ****ing brutal. How is this considered music? What is the difference between what Frownland is doing here and if I were to buy an acoustic guitar, never having played one or ever being likely to ever be, and just hit the strings randomly as he appears to be doing here? YorkeDaddy plays music. Machine plays music. Even Plainview (no offence) plays music. Music I can recognise, if only in scraps and excepts at times. This just sounds more and more like someone playing with a guitar who has no clue how to play it. I know he can play --- I've heard him on piano. So why he refuses to play anything that I could call music is something that puzzles me. But this is what he does, and we have another eleven minute song that might as well be titled “How do you play guitar, anyway?” Hell, even my faffing about on my crappy synth has to be better than this.

On to the third track (oh God! Only the third? Seven more to go still?) and it sounds like he's put down his guitar and is sawing wood. What's he building in there? What the Hell is he building in there? We have a right to know. Or do we? Do we even want to know? Onto track four and it looks like he may have acquired a sitar. Or maybe a Black and Decker, I don't know. Sure is weird. What's really ridiculous to me is that when he coughs, Frownland doesn't edit this out. Maybe it's meant to be a musical statement that's beyond me, I don't know. But to me it just sounds lazy. I tell you, if I get through this it'll be a minor miracle. I've already decided to cut out the closer, which is the opener done in what he calls “stripped” format. I do not need to hear that again, and it's as long as the original, so no thanks. That leaves us with still five more after this ends, but luckily only two are of the ten-minute variety, so that's some mercy anyway.

Bit of acoustic guitar breaking out here on “In the wrong name”; sort of gospelly/folk touches. Maybe. Someone just laughed evilly. Think it was at me for agreeing to do this. Detecting a sort of sitar-y edge to this too. Somewhere. See, “Hdge wars” now seems just like he's going up and down the scale on his guitar, occasionally hitting something (table maybe?) and this goes on for thirteen torturous minutes! Why, I ask, in the name of sanity? Why? Oh god! Three more minutes to go and then I'm seventeen minutes closer to the end of this ordeal. “Ward No. 7”? Feel like I've been committed to one! Thank god that's over anyway and the next one is only a minute and a bit long; ironically has the most musical composition of all the other tracks. Well, sort of. “Underestimated kaleidoscope”? Indeed. And the closer has some sort of melody I can follow, which is something of a surprise.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

Distant relative of nihilism
Thus spake
Resurrectus's alterations and repairs service
Squeaky sheets
In the wrong name
Hedge wars
Ward No. 7
Understimated kaleidoscope
A mind is a terrible thing to taste

Only one thing left I can say, my friend, other than sorry and that is


Rating:
You can get the whole, unedited experience here: https://notjesusthecarpenter.bandcamp.com/releases

[Trollheart]

First, thanks for sorting the picture on your album review. Second, sorry but I also lost the little graphics you gave me, so I just saved your avatar and worked with that. Think it came out ok in the end.

Originally Posted by Plankton

Great write-up on Cheap Guitars!

Some notes:

Eschaton was done by EPOCH6 (a member here) and he graciously offered the track for me to play over. I thought it came out rather splendidly, so I included it in the album. It also fit the flow really well.

Bad Guitar Blues was a BT used to have a bit of fun with a singer friend of mine, and yes that's me singing in the intro, then after the solo my good friend Tina Marie takes the mic.

Well then you can certainly sing too. What's a BT? I am unfamiliar with these terms you musicians use...

Purdie Plank Shuffle was made from an instructional drum track that Freebase had posted and used in one of his works. I decided to give it a little love too.

This is interesting. What is the voice shouting?

Left Alone was a BT I came across and liked the sad quality of it. One day after my best friend died, I took my pain out on it.

Without question, one of your most beautiful and heartbreaking tracks. I realise now what you were going for. My god man: your soul, heart and your pain are etched in those notes!

A thousand thank you's to you Trollheart for the listen, the review, and the great rating. I would only suggest that you possibly include a link to the albums you reviewed, so anyone who's interest has been piqued can have access right here, instead of fruitlessly searching for it.

You're more than welcome, though I should mention it's impossible to find the link: it's not on your website. For any others I could find, I've taken your advice.

Happy New Year man!

[Trollheart]

Final note: as it says in the preface to the review of Frownland's album, I don't wish to be harsh but I will always be honest. If I love your music I'll say so, regardless of what I think of you personally, and if I hate it you'll get the same honesty from me, even if you're my best friend (if I had a best friend...)

So please, please, if anyone is taking offence here at a bad review, don't. If you can't handle negative criticism please do not submit your work to me for the future. Frown knows how I try not to be cruel but sometimes I can't help it; if the music says nothing to me I'll address that in the review. I don't set out to intentionally hurt or insult anyone, or denigrate their music, but I won't lie and say I like it if I don't. I'll always try though to be as constructively critical as I can.

Hope you all enjoyed the reviews and nobody's too butthurt.
TH

[Tristan_Geoff]

As for the vocals, only 234 and REM have them, but we forgot to turn up the amp so they aren't entirely legible, as you've experienced. We're in the middle of recording a new demo, in a room that actually has good acoustics, and amped up songwriting, so I'll let you know when we have it done to review it.

Thanks for the review anyways, you didn't have to butter it up any either, I know it has good elements and bad. There isn't any place in the near future where I can see us having better production, so I guess we're stuck with recording more creatively to get the right sound.