pete83

Hey guys, sorry for the long post but I need a bit of advice.

I’d quite like to hear other frontmen’s opinions/strategies here but I’m really interested in everyone’s point of view, since people are so different, it’ll help me understand better I think.

So here’s lowdown:

I’m the singer/ guitarist in a power trio (who else than the frontman would be complaining, eh? ), been playing w/ my bassist and drummer for a few months. I’ll start with the positives: they are both really good musicians, we work quite well together, and while we might not be “best of friends”, we get on well. So far, so good.

Before i started this band, first time I met each one of them and drawing from past experiences, I was REALLY honest that I only wanted to be with people that were going to contribute to the band as much as I did. By that, I mostly mean: promotion/ looking for gigs and generally actively looking for opportunities, the whole administrative part of the process. Somehow I have always been the one in bands taking care of this, and whilst I’ve grown to embrace it and even enjoy it, I’d so much prefer dedicating more time to music (if I were properly supported)..you know the story. It was the typical “me too” answer from them. 5 months in, guess what? I have to do everything.

My bassist is mega busy with his job at the moment, I accept that. He did start designing a logo for us, and actually is the kind of guy that would get things done, just he hasn’t enough time, that’s fine, he was honest with me. My drummer is a different story, I KNOW he has a lot of time, he’s just lazy, and I’m guessing, mostly not interested in that kind fo stuff..I’ve tried many times to speak to him, and still nothing..we even had a band meeting where I addressed all those issues (a month ago), and just as I expected..nothing changed. There’s no point in asking for the same thing endlessly, is there? Clearly, it this was ever gonna happen, it would already have?

It’s hard not to resent people for not caring as much as you do, and while I can accept it, I just want a situation that’s a little fairer for me.

It seems that this happened to me in the last 3 bands that I have been to (over the span ). Maybe I AM the problem? Somehow I’m always the only one with the drive to push on..

In a band where nobody gets paid to do what there is to be done, then how do you get things done?

I do as much as possible for the band cause I cannot NOT care when I decide to get involved in something, it’s just the way I am = I have a goal, so I pursue that goal. But can I blame others for not being as committed/ passionate as I am, or do I just have unrealistic expectations?

Just like everything in life, with the right mindset and effort, I really believe you can achieve a lot. I believe that so much more could be happening and yet I am being denied that, because there’s so much I can do… I already gave up lots to be here (not complaining). It’s just so frustrating when you know how much COULD be achieved but it isn’t..

I feel this is a bit like being in a relationship, if you’re not really ready to do what the your partner does for you an give back/ love equally (or at least contribute to the relationship in some meaningful way), then sooner or later you’ll break up.

Should I just be grateful that at least have good musicians and people to play with? I just find it difficult not to CARE. I care about things cause I love what I do, should I really settle for less?

Which strategy should i adopt now?

What do you guys think?

grtwhtgrvty

Play with them but constantly search for someone better until you find someone ideal.

CoNtrivedNiHilism

I look at it as sort of an self sabotage when you put up with it as often as you do. There's going to be kinks to work out in any band, and sometimes you have to switch people out until you find the fit that works as a unit. Do you fear that if you kick them out of the band, you won't be able to find people to replace them? And if you do get new people, then do you fear that you'll run in to the same problem where the other band members aren't as driven as you and not taking it as seriously? Either of those things can happen. But there's that sacrifice that has to be there if you want it to work.

If it were me in your shoes. I wouldn't want people around me that don't have the bands best interest in mind or seem to lack the drive or commitment to succeed with it. You're keeping yourself in the same cycle when you allow them to remain in the band. If they haven't gotten serious yet or listened to you asking them to put in the effort that you do, then they probably won't at all. Bands have dissolved or disbanded over things like this all throughout music history. That's why I mentioned that in my own opinion, you're sabotaging your bands potential to make it anywhere by keeping seemingly uncommitted musicians in the mix, you're just staying in one spot.

I wouldn't just kick them out right now either though. Look for some people that will show they're committed, serious, as passionate as you are for the band to make it anywhere. When you find these people. Let your current band members go. You can't make progress when you have people not willing to commit hanging around and filling up space.

To settle for less is selling yourself short. Get people that are with you in every aspect of the word. You should see progress towards where you want things to go.

Best of luck.

__________________

Nameless

Learn to play the drums with your feet. It can be your hook.