In this thread, we discuss the finest, most elegantly crafted...song titles?
 

So it occured to me today that some song titles, irrespective of the quality of the music to which they pertain, are just ****ing fantastic. Post-rock seems to be a particular goldmine, as does progrock and Death Metal.

So in this thread, we point out the finest, most absurd, most clever, most silly, most classy, most glorious song titles that may come into our delicate little heads.

Right now, I'm listening to:

"Laboratories of the Invisible World (Rollerskating the Cosmic Palmistric Postborder)" - maudlinofthewell

"I love you, I'm going to blow up your school" - Mogwai

Carcass to thread, Carcass to thread....

I just love Meat Loaf's "Objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are", although via Steinman he's had some great other ones too, like
"Good girls go to Heaven (Bad girls go everywhere)"
"Love and death and an American guitar"
"I'll kill you if you don't come back"
"I'd do anything for love (But I won't do that)"
"Life is a lemon and I want my money back"
"I'd lie for you and that's the truth"
"In the land of the pig the butcher is king"
and many more.

Then of course there's Waits:

"God's away on business"
"A sweet little bullet from a pretty blue gun"
"Pasties and a G-String"
"I can't wait to get off work"
"The piano has been drinking (not me)"
"Christmas card from a hooker in Minneapolis"
"The ocean doesn't want me"
"What's he building in there?"
"Misery is the river of the world"
"Starving in the belly of a whale"
"Little drop of poison"

and finally The The

"I've been waiting for tomorrow (all of my life)"
"Armageddon days are here (again)"
"The Beat(en) Generation"
"Song without an ending"

I haven't listened to the entire album yet, but the song titles from Mr.Bungle's
Disco Volante are pretty awesome/srange.
-Everyone I Went to Highschool With is Dead
-Desert Search for Techno Allah

I present to you the entire tracklisting for Of Montreal's Early Four Track Recordings.

1. "Dirty Dustin Hoffman Needs a Bath"
2. "Dustin Hoffman Gets a Bath"
3. "Dustin Hoffman Thinks About Eating the Soap"
4. "Dustin Hoffman Scrubs Too Hard and Loses Soap"
5. "Dustin Hoffman Does Not Resist Temptation to Eat the Bathtub"
6. "Dustin Hoffman's Wife Comes Home"
7. "Dustin Hoffman's Wife Seems Suspicious About the Absent Tub"
8. "Dustin Hoffman Feigns Ignorance of Missing Bathtub"
9. "Dustin Hoffman's Wife Calls in Detective to Dust for Porcelain Particles on Dustin Hoffman's Tongue"
10. "Dustin Hoffman's Tongue Taken to Police Lab Where It Is Used as Toilet Paper and Reading Material While on the Toilet"
11. "Dustin Hoffman Offers Lame Possible Explanation for Missing Bathtub"
12. "Dustin Hoffman's Wife Makes a Sarcastic Remark, Cuts the Head Off a Duck, Places It Where the Tub Was and Begins to Groan (Growl)"
13. "Dustin Hoffman Becomes Indignant and Wets Himself"
14. "Dustin Hoffman Quits Bathroom and Climbs a Tree"
15. "Dustin Hoffman's Children Enter the Bathroom"
16. "Dustin Hoffman's Children Don't Enter the Bathroom"

Though none of these really show off Kevin Barnes' flair for language and referential material, which can be better observed in titles like "Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse", "An Eluardian Instance", or "We Were Born The Mutants Again With Leafling".

Sufjan Stevens is a master of this (in my opinion)

"Detroit, Lift Up Your Weary Head! (Rebuild! Restore! Reconsider!)"
"For The Widows In Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti"
"All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands"
"They Are Night Zombies!! They Are Neighbors!! They Have Come Back From The Dead!! Ahhhh!"
"A Conjunction Of Drones Simulating The Way In Which Sufjan Stevens Has An Existential Crisis In The Great Godfrey Maze"
"The Man Of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts"

Death Metal Time: (All these songs are by Nile)


Libation Unto The Shades Who Lurk In The Shadows Of The Temple Of Anhur
Dusk Falls Upon The Temple Of The Serpent On The Mount Of Sunrise
Chapter Of Obeisance Before Giving Breath To The Inert One In The Presence Of The Cresent Shaped Horns
Papyrus Containing The Spell To Preserve Its Possessor Against Attacks From He Who Is In The Water
Permitting The Noble Dead To Descend To The Underworld
Yezd Desert Ghul Ritual In The Abandoned Towers Of Silence
Natural Liberation Of Fear Through The Ritual Deception Of Death

Pearl Jam:
Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town
Hey Foxymophandlemama, That's Me

Soundgarden - Never the Machine Forever

Butthole Surfers - I Saw an X-Ray of a Girl Passing Gas

Charles Mingus - The Shoes of the Fisherman's Wife are Some Jive Ass Slippers


Though my personal favourite song title...

Faith No More - The Gentle Art of Making Enemies

A couple that come to mind:

Blue Oyster Cult - The Seige and Investiture of Baron von Frankenstiens Castle at Weisseria.

Good tune:

Blue Oyster Cult - The Siege and Investiture of Baron von Frankenstein's Castle at Weisseria - YouTube

...and...

Pink Floyd - Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving With a Pict


Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In a Cave and Grooving with a Pict - YouTube

No Flaming Lips yet?

Psychiatric Explorations of the Fetus With Needles
Guy Who Got a Headache and Accidentally Saved the World
Thank You, Jack White (for the Fiber Optic Jesus That You Gave Me)
Pilot Can At the Queer of God
She Don't Use Jelly

And my personal favorite...
Talkin' Bout the Smiling Deathporn Immortality Blues
... Probably the best title ever given to a song