In this thread, we discuss the finest, most elegantly crafted...song titles?

[Charlemagne]

How could I possibly forget about Empire Empire (I Was A Lonely Estate)? Amazing stuff

"I Am A Snail, And You Are A Pace I Cannot Match"
"Rally The Troops! Poke Holes In Their Defenses! Line Our Coffers With Their Coffins!"
"If We Had Found You Any Later, You Would Have Drowned"
"You Have to Believe That Life is More Than the Sum of its Parts, Kiddo"
"With Your Greatest Fears Realized, You Will Not Be Comforted"

[Dayvan Cowboy]

Don Caballero have some pretty mazing ones, like Let's Face It Pal. You Didn't Need That Eye Surgery and My Ten YEar Old LAdy is Giving It Away. a lot of post rock/math rock bands in general have amazing titles to compensate for a lack of lyrics.

[Mrd00d]

I wrote these last night after drinking Sake... I'm rather pleased with some of them, and a bit surprised how many I got down in less than 5-10 minutes:


One Week From the Day After Tomorrow Things Should be Better...
If I am You and You are Me, then Why are We Fighting?
The Full Moon Shines Through the Clouds As I Cross Into Unmarked Territory
Hobo Taxi, Tramp Limosine [song by my friend James P Hardin]
Jiminy Christmas, It's You Again!
The Bro Says "Herp Derp, Do You Derp?"
Nom-saine G?
Om Nommin' 'Em
Om Namah Shivayah, Von
Tony Balogne, His White Van, and His White Dope
Rapist Alert Near Autzen and Cuthbert on 4th of July Weekend
Anti-Pop, Pro-Momma
Glancing Across the Ocean From the Top of a Mast in the Moonlit Night
Fog Shrouded Valley; Town Enveloped
8 Minutes Until the Last of the Suns' Rays Reach Us Before We Freeze
There Is No Spoon, Nor Branch, Nor Arm
Changes Aren't Permanent, But Change Is [Rush - Tom Sawyer lyric]
Nothing Is Something Well Worth Doing As Often as Possible [variation on a Shpongle song title]
Steampunk '91 Station Wagon Driven By a Bearded Samurai with a Pirate's Hat
Male Lab Chimp Addicted to Cigarettes, Hard Liquor, Crack, Meth, and Easy Female Chimps
Caught My Shirt in the Door As The Car Drove Away
Got Stuck in the Door Trying to Catch the BART Train
Driving to Ukiah For Clones and a Good Deal
Fell Asleep At the Wheel, Woke Up In a Ditch, Car Smashed to ****, I'm All ****ed Up (I Think I Got Attacked by a Samsquanch)
Either Samsquanch Abduction or Portal to Another World
Negative Balances Out Positive
Born of a Supernova

[Euronomus]

This album has mostly great song titles and a great band name/album title to go with them


Suffocate For **** Sake - Blazing Fires And Helicopters On The Frontpage Of The Newspaper. There`s A War Going On And I`m Marching In Heavy Boots.

1. Blue Lights And Sunshine
2. I Got Worried... I was so Freaking Scared Of That Window, You know
3. We Are Driving Through Darkness
4. Twentysix and Full Of Plans
5. Japanese Flag
6. I Keep My Eyes On The Ground, Afraid Of Meeting Someone I know
7. Empty
8. They Try To Cheer Me Up By Saying I Did Once Live a Functioning Life

[Mrd00d]

Cloudkicker has some great ones; this album has the most cool ones.
Tracklist:

1. We are going to invert... 00:41
2. Here, wait a minute! Damn it! 01:47
3. We're goin' in. We're going down. 05:15
4. Oh, god. 05:40
5. I admit it now. I was scared. 02:04
6. We were all scared. 02:29
7. Push it way up! 07:16
8. ...it's just wide-open field. 02:21
9. It's bad. We're hit, man, we are hit. 06:01
10. Amy, I love you. 07:56

Other notables are:

%
Ever Thus to Deadbeats

[hip hop bunny hop]

No Anal ****?

It Just Gets Worse
"I Became a Counselor So I Could Tell Rape Victims They Asked for It" – 0:43
"Easy E Got AIDS from Freddie Mercury" – 0:42
"I Like Drugs and Child Abuse" – 0:22
"Laughing While Leonard Peltier Gets Raped in Prison" – 0:41
"I Convinced You to Beat Your Wife on a Daily Basis" – 0:51
"I Sent Concentration Camp Footage to America's Funniest Home Videos" – 0:34
"Rancid Sucks (And The Clash Sucked Too)" – 0:40
"You Rollerblading ***got" – 0:31
"I Sent a Thank You Card to the Guy Who Raped You" – 0:29
"I Lit Your Baby on Fire" – 1:56
"Body by Auschwitz" – 1:02
"I Intentionally Ran Over Your Dog" – 0:30
"Women: Nature's Punching Bag" – 0:57
"I Snuck a Retard into a Sperm Bank" – 0:30
"Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck" – 1:02 (this is about Eric Clapton, lulz)
"Hitler Was a Sensitive Man" – 0:49
"I Gave NAMBLA Pictures of Your Kid" – 0:52
"The Only Reason Men Talk to You is Because They Want to Get Laid, You Stupid ****ing ****" – 1:02
"I Made Fun of You Because Your Kid Just Died" – 0:28
"Domestic Violence Is Really, Really, Really Funny" – 0:42
"Being Ignorant Is Awesome" – 1:03
"You're Pregnant, So I Kicked You in the Stomach" – 0:28
"Chris Barnes Is a Pussy" – 1:04
"Tim Is Gay" – 1:30
"I Sold Your Dog to a Chinese Restaurant" – 0:49
"I Got an Office Job for the Sole Purpose of Sexually Harassing Women" – 0:58

40 More Reasons to Hate Us
"You Looked Divorced"
"I Hope You Get Deported"
"Everyone in the Underground Music Scene Is Stupid"

I Like It When You Die
"You're Old (**** You)" – 0:13
"You Go to Art School" – 0:55
"Locking Dropdead in McDonald's" – 0:21
"Kyle From Incantation Has a Moustache" – 4:10

Top 40 Hits
"Living Colour Is My Favorite Black Metal Band" – 0:49
"Stealing Seth's Ideas: the New Book by Jon Chang" – 1:06
"Don't Call Japanese Hardcore Jap Core" – 0:35


Everyone Should Be Killed
"Abomination of Unnecessarily Augmented Composition Monickers"
"When I Think of True Punk Rock Bands, I Think of Nirvana and the Melvins"
"You Must Be Wicked Underground If You Own This"

[Janszoon]

Originally Posted by hip hop bunny hop

No Anal ****?

^Heh. This is exactly what I thought I was going to see when I saw your name in this thread.

[hip hop bunny hop]

^^^ I am a creature of habits.

How about: "Locking Seth Putnam in Hot Topic" by Rob Crow?

EDIT:

Here's some good ones by Prosthetic ****:

Vomit Stuffed Rectum
Concrete Block ****icide

[Trollheart]

I rather like this one from the Porcs:

"Last chance to evacuate planet Earth before it is recycled"...

[hip hop bunny hop]

Rapist's Thrusts by ash pool.