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08-05-2006, 02:00 AM
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#261 (permalink) | |
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Full-Time Hellion
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 1,531
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I dunno. it adds an air of mystery to the members if you ask me. and perhaps a certain degree of immaturity depending on the name
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A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche |
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08-05-2006, 02:02 AM
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#262 (permalink) | |
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Ad Astra
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 730
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It could be used well. But something with shadows, just sounds like one of those gangster kids, threatening to shoot me with a cap gun.
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08-05-2006, 02:03 AM
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#263 (permalink) | |
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Full-Time Hellion
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 1,531
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Quote:
what self respecting adult least of all man wants to be known as lil anything?
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A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche |
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08-05-2006, 02:05 AM
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#264 (permalink) | |
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Ad Astra
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 730
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Yeah that's true. Care to critique something for me, before I finish? I need opinions on certain things, before I decide to call it finished. And once I complete something, I like to have a sense of finality to it.
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08-05-2006, 02:06 AM
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#265 (permalink) | |
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Full-Time Hellion
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 1,531
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Quote:
__________________
A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche |
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08-05-2006, 02:10 AM
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#266 (permalink) | |
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The Sexual Intellectual
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Somewhere cooler than you
Posts: 18,605
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During the 90s my hatred of Vedder was almost at Bono like proportions. However since nobody gives a flying f*ck about Pearl Jam these days it`s subsided a little
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 Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave. |
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08-05-2006, 02:13 AM
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#267 (permalink) | |
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Ad Astra
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 730
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Down
Normally I wouldn't write something that cannot be possible...since alot of bands just stick in random crap now adays. You'll notice the first line, by what I mean.
-----Verse----- I'd hate to be inside the mind, Of a deadman To know the things, and feel the way That only he can I see the colors in the trees, But they're fading The seasons change inside of me (Thinking about adding another part here. Maybe not, but nothing I write is usualy this short) -----Chorus----- The sun goes down, it's getting colder 40 degrees, and it's dropping further Down, by me a river runs Into the bend, it never turns The lights go out, it's getting darker <---may be changed to sun also 30 degrees, and it's dropping further Down, with me you watch the world As it changes I will definately continue the chorus two more times, untill I reach a part I can add '10 degrees, it can't get much colder' The song changed ways, after the first line. I spent like 20 minutes getting this far last night.
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08-05-2006, 02:18 AM
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#268 (permalink) | |
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Full-Time Hellion
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: PA
Posts: 1,531
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Quote:
The line you're thinking of changing don't unless you come up with something really really better. The most serious flaw in this si the line about a river running beside you. It doesn't quite fit. It needs to be tweaked. And now that I think about it, if length is something you seem to bea little big on then make the song longer and get ride of the line about the river and how it bends. You have nice imagery at the beginning and so you're also not too vague. And if appears that way then the beginning is ambiguous (in my opinion) and it shouldn't be touched anyways. Let the reader/listener interpret it the way they want to. Saves you some hassle. That's about it oh and PS: this should've probably wnet in the song writing forum . . .
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A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche |
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08-05-2006, 02:22 AM
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#269 (permalink) | |
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Ad Astra
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 730
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Yeah the whole river thing was thrown in, because I was thinking about making a "down with me, we're sinking". But I don't think I can use that in the second part. So I may change that, or find some way to make it fit.
I posted it here, cause I'm nowhere near done working on it, and you were one of the 2 people who commented on my last one. I like to keep everything a secret untill I'm finished, I guess =)).
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