boo boo

What a serious motherload of wrongness. Suck my f*cking d*ck Blender.

What a total joke of a magazine, this is even worse than that awful worst things to happen to music list where they added Sgt Peppers for (gasp) influencing progressive rock.

What makes Blender WAAAAAAAAAY more annoying than other magazines that try to play the hipster card is how Blender fails so miserably at it, they can hate on talented musicians like The Doors, Primus, ELP and Wakeman (who IS the greatest rock keyboardist of all time) all they f*cking want. Why should anyone take a music magazine that puts tween singers like Ashlee SImpson and Taylor Swift on their cover on a regular basis even remotely seriously?

And why the f*ck is Whitesnake on there? Of all the horrible hair metal bands, why pick one of the few that's actually pretty decent?

Yngwie Malmsteen has some good stuff, at least his work tends to have structure and melody, when it comes to shred guitarists there is MUCH MUCH worse, like Michael Angelo Batio and Rusty Cooley, truth is the writers were just lazy, didn't want to try very hard so they picked a genre they don't like and decided to represent it with the most popular musician in that genre and call it a day.

Bob Geldof's solo work is pretty lame but it's not THAT bad and Boom Town Rats are pretty groovy. I think he's only on the list for being a notorious egomaniac, but that's... well, the stupidest f*cking reason to put someone on a worst artists list ever.

All of those artists I highlighted have some great stuff, sure they may have some crap but they are nonetheless talented musicians who are worthy of some degree of respect even if you don't like their music. Blender is a joke, their lists are always poor attempts at trolling. The fact that they cited the best albums from Kansas, Blind Melon and Primus as their worst just comes to show that they didn't even invest any real research in these lists, they really don't know anything about music.

And the unbearably smug little summaries of each artist confirms this, is "pretentious" the only word they know how to use? And how ironic that they use that word so much in an article that is itself just a weak attempt to provoke readers that the writers consider inferior to them.

And Yes are inexcusably pompous? Yeah, that means a lot from people who can never get Bono's c*ck out of their mouths.

Thank holy god this magazine has finally folded. Though now Joe Levy wants to take over Maxim, as if that magazine wasn't obnoxious enough.

What a total sh*tstain on pop culture that guy is.

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Monk

How about Charles Manson? He was pretty terrible.

chroma IF

they forgot Bush.

boo boo

I don't like Bush at all but I wouldn't say they're that bad. There's MANY worse offenders as far as post-grunge is concerned.

And by "many" I mean practically everyone else that isn't Stone Temple Pilots, Foo Fighters, Live or Silverchair.

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It's only knock n' knowall, but I like it

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boo boo

These bits from the article are especually awful.

Suck my balls.

First off, completely writing off Nietzsche and Native American folklore is pretty damn ignorant. Second, how in the **** did The Doors lead to the invention of goth? They had influence on it obviously but I wouldn't say they are primarly responsable. But why is that even a bad thing even if they were? No goth, no Cure.

And they cite two of the best Doors songs as their worst, nice.

Errr. Just read the first bit. First off Live are nothing like U2 and second they mispelled pretentious and third Nirvana influenced Creed too so should you guys stop sucking Cobain's rotting **** now?


And fourth what's f*cking wrong with the hindu quote? Are you guys bigoted assh*les or do you seriously think having interest in other cultures makes you automatically pretentious?



So, my favorite genre of music is being constantly shat on by people who think the most interesting musicians to do interviews with are people like Fall Out Boy and Fergie. I don't know weither to be humored or disgusted.

Oh here we go again with the prog, did a prog fan rape you as a child or something?

Oh, and dissing Roger Dean. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

The more I read this the more I get this mental image.



And you gotta f*cking love how their primary criticism of the music is that it lacks... sex. And how does the music lack emotion exactly? These writers don't really bother to explain their opinions, at all.

Yeah, how DARE a band break from convention and do something different.

Blender Magazine: If it's not dumbed down three chord rock and pop with lyrics about f*cking and is too complex for our 5 year old mentality to handle, it's baaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

Again, THIS is the magazine in question.



So I guess there's really no need to go on.

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It's only knock n' knowall, but I like it

http://www.last.fm/user/kingboobs

stormjh

you forgot this guy

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IHuman

alan parson's project shouldn't be in there and i doubt very much anyone on that mag will ever do anything remotely as special as Wakeman's piano work on Bowie's Life on mars!!!

boo boo

This is an even more awful list they made.

The 40 Worst Lyricists In Rock — #40 to #31 - Blender

If that is not a blatant troll than it makes me really depressed that people like this are not being murdered right now.

First off. Ian Anderson, Paul McCartney and Peter Gabriel are awesome lyricists, so f*ck off.

Jon Anderon's lyrics I don't really have an opinion on, they are ridiculously cryptic and hard to understand but they're not even all that noticable. Corgan's lyrics can be a little annoying but I think he's still a pretty good lyricist for the most part. David Crosby? What? Anthony Kiedis isn't as bad as people say he is IMO, he can be a pretty decent lyricist when it's not stuff like "slippity diggity doggy doo".

Robert Plant and Jim Morrison aren't great lyricists but they're not as bad as people make out either, Morrison has some cringeworthy lyrics but also some really great ones. And Plant has some decent stuff as well but whatever, that's like the least important aspect of Zeppelin anyway, and hard rock in general for that matter.

Bernie Taupin is pretty hit and miss, not at all worthy of this list. KRS One? What the f*ck? And Greg Graffin is one of few not so bad punk lyricists, what is he doing there? Neil Peart has some cringeworthy ones but has some great ones as well, he's a decent lyricist, second worst? Really?

And Sting is number one? I wont deny that his solo work has produced some rather rancid stuff but I actually consider him a great lyricist, mainly for his work with The Police.

There's very few I agree with, Tom Marshal definitely deserves to be in there but even Phish knows their lyrics are stupid. Paul Stanley is a good call. And Fred Durst and Scott Stapp are the most obvious choices.

Some of the exclusions are inexcusable. Where is Greg Lake and Dennis DeYoung? If you guys are gonna diss on prog rock as much as possible (which is like beating up an old man for something he did 30 years ago and probably doesn't even remember) then you could at least add guys who actually are pretty sh*tty lyricists.

In general they just seemed to pick as many acclaimed songwriters as possible just to be controversial. Again, no real thought process at all, it's sad that these people probably shat this out in like 5 minutes and all the while insulting people who actually put effort into their work. Fred Durst is more of a good lyricist than these guys are good writers.

What REALLY pisses me off about this list is how they constantly give off reasons like "songs about fantasy/science fiction/hinduism". So the f*ck what? Are songwriters restricted from writing songs about certain subjects that they are interested in? What is so terrible about these things in particular? Or do you bother not to explain anything because you expect your most loyal of pseudo-hipster c*nt readers to know it all?

THANK GOD this magazine isn't around anymore. It's disgusting just to think about how many trees were cut down to put this sh*t on paper.

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It's only knock n' knowall, but I like it

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Burning Down

I've never picked up an issue of Blender in my life, but any magazine that puts a crappy emo band on their cover is probably not very credible.

southerndrummerboy

I am pretty sure there are more deserving artists