Various Artists slaughter "Everybody Hurts" for Haiti
 

I heard on NPR today that internationally known D-bag Simon Cowell of American Idol and X Factor fame had orchestrated a cover of the 1992 R.E.M. classic "Everybody Hurts" by some "famous" artists to raise money for Haiti, a la We Are the World. Of course I had to check it out and by god is it the worst thing I have ever heard? Pretty damn close. As I listened to Mariah Carey slaughter some of the most endearingly beautiful lyrics ever with her "talent", the heartbreaking memories I once associated with the song dissappeared, only to be replaced with even worse memories of Bon Jovi fucking up a great song. Well done Mr. Cowell! You have succeeded in commercializing one of my favorite childhood songs and you did it with conviction! Gone is the naive innocence of Stipe's technically imperfect but emotionally flawless vocal. Gone are Mike Mill's song-making harmonies. Gone is everything about this song that once made it great. I do hope the Athens, G.A. boys are having a good laugh about this one, because I certainly am not.


Thoughts on this travesty?

wasn't this a song about breaking up?

I always thought it was a song against suicide.


Either way, WTF?

Maybe I'm jaded but it's been so many years since I've given a shit about the song that I'm not very devastated. And despite all the good things you mentioned about the song (which I kinda agree with) I'm hardly surprised by this as the original song is so sappy that it really lends itself to this sort of thing.

Anyone else find it ironic that multimillionaire musicians cover a song emphasizing their empathy for the despondent conditions in a third-world country?

It's like a serial rapist leading Take Back the Night.

I love that montage, because it totally shows me that all of these artists truly care and are totally 100% A+ into it.

Yeah.

yeah that's probably more accurate, but either way i don't see how it makes for an appropriate charity song, especially for this situation, since either breaking up or suicide, the song is still about getting over it and pushing on.

so is the message to Haiti really hey yeah, it sucks for everyone sometimes, so just hold on, it'll get better?

seems to me it didn't take that long for a songwriter to whip up a unique pile of cheesy drek in the 80s for causes like this one, why choose an inappropriate cover now? it's not like there aren't career songwriters making bank out there at the moment...

The still image of the video is enough to make me not want to watch it or hear it.

actually the video is kind of funny / disturbing to watch on mute. it's just still photos and poorly synced names at the bottom. then you get a minute and a half of smug insanity as they end the video on a shot of robbie williams looking like a cross between 10 years ago george clooney and current bat poop insane mel gibson.

They're all having orgasms! :laughing: Except Mariah carey because she can't move her face.