A little help

METALbass · 10-08-2009, 09:38 PM

ok...so I really want to get in a band with this one kid at my school who plays lead guitar and i play bass. We're into the same metal bands, but not much other things. Now since i don't have very good social skills infront of people, and i'm not sure how i should ask him. i've been playing for half a year, and he's been playing for 7 years. I'm afraid he'll say i'm not good enough or something. so my question is, How do i ask him to be in a band with me and some oof his friends? Please help

stopher723 · 10-08-2009, 09:56 PM

Just be straight up with them. Tell them you haven't played for that long, and see what they think. Explain the situation and they should be understanding.

M.C. D · 10-08-2009, 10:05 PM

Maybe you should try to make friends with him first and then ask him to jam with you. Don't go too fast with it all. He's not going to just say yeah you can be in my band. It may take time.

Arya Stark · 10-08-2009, 11:45 PM

Social skills are probably the most important thing to be in a band. Gain the courage to say something and practice.

If you can handle being in a band, you'll have no problem saying something to him.

METALbass · 10-09-2009, 01:26 AM

I've been slowly trying to be friends with him for about a month by talking about music, but music is pretty much all i have to talk about without feeling a little out of place. Right now i'm wondering if i'm friends enough with him to ask.

Arya Stark · 10-09-2009, 08:56 AM

If you're still wondering, you should probably wait a little bit longer until you're comfortable.

M.C. D · 10-09-2009, 03:18 PM

If you have very little in common with him and can't maintain a reasonably long conversation with him, then it sounds like your forcing it and it is not the right match. Maybe you should back off for a bit and see if he shows interest. It would at least take the pressure off of you and avoid an uncomfortable or embarrassing situation.

Arya Stark · 10-09-2009, 04:37 PM

He's also shy, though, so I don't think it's something worth giving up until you ask about it.

mr dave · 10-09-2009, 05:08 PM

do they actually need a bass player and does he know you play? if so, there's your angle. it's as simple as saying 'oh! you guys need a bass player? well, i started a few months ago, we should jam or something and see if anything clicks'. then find out what tunes they play and learn them prior to showing up to their jam spot or pick out a half dozen tunes you both like and would enjoy trying out.

then again if you're this wishy washy about just asking a guy to play music with him what are you going to do when you need to face a crowd from a stage?

seems to me too many young people take the idea of 'being in a band' to be akin to being in a long term relationship. it's not. at all. it's what you do with your buddies on the weekend instead of sitting on the couch playing video games.

M.C. D · 10-09-2009, 06:05 PM

No, it does not necessarily have to be a "relationship" but still, something has to click or theres no connection. Any kind of friendship rests on some kind of commonality. If he is not going to have fun with the people he is hanging out then its just going to be weird and uncomfortable.

10-08-2009, 09:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
METALbass Groupie Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Kenmore, Washington state Posts: 9	A little help ok...so I really want to get in a band with this one kid at my school who plays lead guitar and i play bass. We're into the same metal bands, but not much other things. Now since i don't have very good social skills infront of people, and i'm not sure how i should ask him. i've been playing for half a year, and he's been playing for 7 years. I'm afraid he'll say i'm not good enough or something. so my question is, How do i ask him to be in a band with me and some oof his friends? Please help

10-08-2009, 09:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
stopher723 Groupie Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Cambridge, MA Posts: 30	Just be straight up with them. Tell them you haven't played for that long, and see what they think. Explain the situation and they should be understanding.

10-08-2009, 10:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
M.C. D Groupie Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 23	Maybe you should try to make friends with him first and then ask him to jam with you. Don't go too fast with it all. He's not going to just say yeah you can be in my band. It may take time.

10-09-2009, 01:26 AM	#5 (permalink)
METALbass Groupie Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Kenmore, Washington state Posts: 9	I've been slowly trying to be friends with him for about a month by talking about music, but music is pretty much all i have to talk about without feeling a little out of place. Right now i'm wondering if i'm friends enough with him to ask.

10-09-2009, 03:18 PM	#7 (permalink)
M.C. D Groupie Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 23	If you have very little in common with him and can't maintain a reasonably long conversation with him, then it sounds like your forcing it and it is not the right match. Maybe you should back off for a bit and see if he shows interest. It would at least take the pressure off of you and avoid an uncomfortable or embarrassing situation.

10-09-2009, 06:05 PM	#10 (permalink)
M.C. D Groupie Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 23	No, it does not necessarily have to be a "relationship" but still, something has to click or theres no connection. Any kind of friendship rests on some kind of commonality. If he is not going to have fun with the people he is hanging out then its just going to be weird and uncomfortable.