Worst music critics

Terrible Lizard · 08-01-2009, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asshat

...it's fascinating...it's not any worse than bagpipes, and I like bagpipes on occasion.I'm sure lester bangs was just amazed by how atrocious it sounded.
It takes genuine talent to make something that ugly. Do you listen to any whitehouse?

Been meaning to get into some, but I've been focusing on other things.

desylina · 08-01-2009, 11:03 AM

Robert Christgau without a doubt.

boo boo · 08-01-2009, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asshat

...it's fascinating...it's not any worse than bagpipes, and I like bagpipes on occasion.I'm sure lester bangs was just amazed by how atrocious it sounded.
It takes genuine talent to make something that ugly. Do you listen to any whitehouse?

Does it now?

Because give me a guitar, bass, a keyboard and drum machine and I can make you something far far worse.

Pitchfork will love it.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 08-01-2009, 11:15 AM

No you can't.

Metal Machine Music is just a big fuck you to the music industry. And it succeeds in doing that. That's why it's remembered and that's why it's so infamous.

You couldn't make a statement like that to save your life.

boo boo · 08-01-2009, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hatemonger

No you can't.

Metal Machine Music is just a big fuck you to the music industry. And it succeeds in doing that. That's why it's remembered and that's why it's so infamous.

You couldn't make a statement like that to save your life.

No I could make something worse and more inaccessible, please don't underestimate my total lack of talent.

~~The Unfan~~ · 08-01-2009, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo

No I could make something worse and more inaccessible, please don't underestimate my total lack of talent.

The thing is MMM isn't all that inaccessible. I'd even go as far as to say the weird textures are soothing.

asshat · 08-01-2009, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Unfan

The thing is MMM isn't all that inaccessible. I'd even go as far as to say the weird textures are soothing.

.......yeah,almost. There are these things--I think they're called buddah boxes or something--they're these little plastic boxes that look like a kids toy, and it'll just make a one or two note drone that you can meditate with...metal machine music kind of reminds me of that, but just a tad too harsh.

....as far as critics go, I think lester bangs was one of the only ones that didn't hate it.

Dr.Tchock · 08-01-2009, 08:47 PM

George Starostin is just terrible. I mean, I sorta respect the unmeasurable amount of work he puts in his reviews but his opinions are just crap.

I mean:

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ZENYATTA MONDATTA (...) the best record ever recorded by a 'fresh' artist after rock's 'golden era', i.e. the best album recorded over the last twenty five years at least.

Ridiculous statement.

Oh, he is a big Police fan alright:

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Duh. If the Police aren't original, nobody else from the Seventies and later is.

Yeah man, one of the most unimpressive new wave acts IS also the most original one. Screw you Joy Divison.

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My favourite period in rock music is the 60's. It is my deep belief that much more than half of all absolute rock classics were either written in this Golden Age of rock

Classic Rock Elitism at it's best. But he follows it with:

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or else were written by artists whose roots lie deeply in the 60's (like the ex-Beatles).

Hahahaha.

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Originality in modern rock is something practically unheard of.

Tell me about it George.

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The greatest stupidity in the world is when people prefer listening to modern music instead of listening to good music

Sarcasm... I hope so.

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The big problem, on the other hand, would be with setting one's priorities straight: are the Clash more enjoyable than the Who? Are Styx more enjoyable than Genesis? Are the Fall more enjoyable than the Kinks? Are Radiohead more enjoyable than Pink Floyd? The list goes ad infinitum...

Let me give it a try: Yes, No, Yes, and Yes.

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Rock music is dead

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Rolling Stones...One of the most diverse bands ever

No.

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(is it even possible to say 'I wish I were so ****in' special'?)

I'm pretty sure that's not how it goes.

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Punk rock is what I hate

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the whole dreadful Krautrock

I hate this guy.

Not to mention the absolute god-awful ranking system. Nick Drake is a class D artist apparently. His essays are also cringeworthy. I'm sure he's a great linguistic but man is he a bumbling idiot.

Astronomer · 08-01-2009, 09:03 PM

^ What a knob! I really can't stand that kind of elitism. I count myself lucky for not having read any of his essays before.

Seltzer · 08-01-2009, 11:43 PM

Eh, I don't mind music critics that much. Some of them are right tossers but as long as you don't take them too seriously, there's no harm done. After all, Christgau is a completely biased elitist douche, but that doesn't mean I don't get amusement from reading anything of his.

If I want to read reviews to get an idea of what album in a discography I should first check out, I usually head for allmusic or RYM... allmusic is really inconsistent at times but can be sufficient for this purpose.

08-01-2009, 11:15 AM	#54 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	No you can't. Metal Machine Music is just a big fuck you to the music industry. And it succeeds in doing that. That's why it's remembered and that's why it's so infamous. You couldn't make a statement like that to save your life. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

08-01-2009, 09:03 PM	#59 (permalink)
Astronomer we are stardust Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 2,894	^ What a knob! I really can't stand that kind of elitism. I count myself lucky for not having read any of his essays before. __________________

08-01-2009, 11:43 PM	#60 (permalink)
Seltzer Fish in the percolator! Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Hobbit Land NZ Posts: 2,870	Eh, I don't mind music critics that much. Some of them are right tossers but as long as you don't take them too seriously, there's no harm done. After all, Christgau is a completely biased elitist douche, but that doesn't mean I don't get amusement from reading anything of his. If I want to read reviews to get an idea of what album in a discography I should first check out, I usually head for allmusic or RYM... allmusic is really inconsistent at times but can be sufficient for this purpose. __________________ In the Court of King Crimson \| Last.fm \| RYM

08-01-2009, 11:03 AM	#52 (permalink)
desylina Music Addict Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Indonesia Posts: 69	Robert Christgau without a doubt.