The Top Ten Most Infuriating Music Fans Ever
 

Alright, so it's been a while since i pissed a bunch of people off, i figured that it's high time i take a swing at someone else.

Instead of going the conventional route and listing some bands i could do without and having people yell at me for offending their taste and being an idiot and not knowing what i was talking about, why not go right to the source: the fans themselves.

I'm sure you all know the odd fucker that bugs you about music for some reason--there may be a few from this site that probably do it to you (myself included). Well, i'm going to do my best to rip on the idiots that really piss me off (not just the ones here) maybe a story to explain why these guys irk me so.

i hope you enjoy.

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10. Beatles fans

Consider this a sign of peace for how low these shitholes are on this list.

I’m sure we’re all accustomed to the occasional Beatles fanatic, the guy that mumbles on incoherently about how they were at the vanguard of every movement from prog rock to proto punk. He’ll explain that Lennon and McCartney weren’t just two songwriters, they were two GENIUSES, while Harrison was an amazing guitarist and Ringo – well, you know it, he’s a really underrated drummer. He won’t understand why you haven’t listened to Revolver thirty times yet or bought a box set of their works in the last three weeks. And regardless of how obviously disinterested you might be he’ll push every one of their farts into your face, no matter how dull or incendiary those escaping whiffs of idiocy are. Want to know how deep the shitheads dive?

I’ll tell you. I was over my friend’s place one lazy weekend just hanging out with a few girls, listening to some music and trying to stave off sobriety for another day. At the time we just had some laid back stuff playing, probably Morcheeba or something of the like. A dude I recently met came into the apartment to bum alcohol and just hang out with us. About five minutes in he turns to me to explain that my music ‘wasn’t party music.’ Okay, so what? Everyone’s allowed their own preferences, and it wasn’t my place so I took it off like a gentlemen. The guy leaves and comes back in, making a playlist consisting solely of the Beatles. Solid party music indeed.

He then proceeded to spend no less than four hours lecturing me on why the Beatles were the greatest band in the world.

Excuse me if I don’t fucking care.

Elitist prog fans better be up there.

I mean seriously, if you guys think I'm an annoying pretentious prog fan, you need to go to ProgArchives, because you ain't seen NOTHING yet.

Read some of the reviews by Ivan Melgary Morey and Sean Trane. I dare you.

you should make this a top 20 at least, there's some real ****head fans out there

nah, it's mostly people i encounter in real life.

and considering maybe 0.01% of my friends actually like prog to begin with...

I hope you'll be including an entry on how fucking annoying Phish/Widespread Panic/String Cheese Incident/etc. fans are. People, I know you like to imagine that these bands are are crazy and edgy and unique but I'm here to tell you they aren't. They're bland as hell and are the kind of thing boring people listen to in an effort to seem interesting. Oh wow, you smoke pot? Whoopdie fucking doo. So does everybody else. It's like defining your taste in music by the fact that you eat french fries.

oh trust me, there's an entry that Phish will fit kindly well into. :)

I hate prog fans who can't shut up about how inferior every other genre of music is. The kind that always rants about pop music but doesn't really know what the f*ck pop is, they need to realise that having a poppy melody or a hook doesn't completely strip a song of artistic merit. I'm talking about the kinda people who give one star to Talking Heads albums and King Crimson's Discipline, calling it "generic pop". What a bunch of idiots.

Progarchives is full of people like this. So for me, they're the worst. Mainly because I have the misfortune of being associated with them.

i like Phish, and i guess you can call me a fan, but i don't go around saying or doing stuff like that you mentioned. honestly, i enjoy their albums more than their live shows at times, cause while i do like a good jam session, they really overdo it.

and i can say that they're very proficient musically. Trey Anastsio is a damn good and underrated guitarist

This being Sam, I probably won't agree with a lot of it, but it's a great thread idea.

I might rip it off, and ripping off other peoples thread ideas is something I do on a regular basis.

Not sure if I agree with the part about him being underrated because I feel like he gets a lot of praise but otherwise I'm with you. I'm not trying to say all Phish fans are like what I described at all but rather that there's this demographic of people out there who basically only listen to bands like Phish, Widespread Panic and String Cheese Incident and those people are annoying as hell.

nah, i see where you're coming from. like i said before, there's alot of ****head fans out there, even for your favporite bands

I went to a Cake show. The fans were OK, I guess.

David Bowie fangirls had better be on this list. I don't think I've ever come across a more boring and irrational group of people in my entire life.

I'm expecting fans of "everything but country/rap" to be on this list. So common, yet so infuriating.

And of course, Dream Theater fans.

I don't think I've ever met a female Bowie fan.

Actually, it's very rare to meet a girl who has decent taste in music where I live.

Heh, I use that phrase sometimes. Only instead of "country/rap" I say "Death metal/Screamo".

I used to moderate a Bowie fan forum, so I've had my fair share of encounters :D

...don't forget the Vai/Satriani gearheads who will listen to a zeppelin live tape and complain about jimmy page being too sloppy, or who think stevie ray vaughn was better than hendrix because his solos were longer.

....mark knopfler and eddie van halen fans are the same breed of anal-retentive dip****s who favour technicality over soul.

..I hope the whole g3 posse and their lemming fans walk off a cliff.

Whoa...
I hope you got paid for that.

...talking heads albums aren't "generic pop" so much as "pretentious pap", regardless they're genuinely crap.

...I don't know so much about king crimson.

After reading this, I think I'll revise my previous statement and replace Dream Theater fans with shredheads in general.

we just call them hippies (the modern version).

This should be fun.

I have a feeling about number one though haha

I hate trying to show someone new music and they go and change it half way through the first or second song. Nice rant dude.

I bet you don't even give people who appreciate Vai or others a chance.
Also, Mark Knopfler is not the same breed of guitarist as Eddie Van Halen, please.

I agree with this entirely.

I think they think of themselves that way too but the funny thing is that generally the only thing they have in common with hippies is that they smoke pot.

Oh no you dinnit.

That makes you just as closed minded as the people you are talking about. You should respect their position. There is no such thing as "liking music for all the wrong reasons". You like what you like, period. I personally don't like Radiohead but I would never tell you and them to walk off of a cliff. That's just ridiculous, it's the definition of being an elitist and close minded. You think your methods are the only way and you don't take anyone else's likes and preferences into consideration before you let something ridiculous babble off your tounge.

I have to say most indie kids I know pretty much worship the Talking Heads, they don't dismiss them at all.

Who said they did? I was talking about prog fans.

Ha ha, whoops. My bad. :o:

Not true at all. I just think that the people who treat music as an athletic competition are idiots and DO in fact listen to music for the wrong reasons.

There's nothing wrong with a little competition in music, it motivates musicians do innovate and do better.

But yeah, in the world of shred guitar, it's very much a sport. More about the showmanship than the music, kinda like modern day vaudville.

"Step right up, step right up, to see and hear the fastest guitar player IN THE WORLD."

I'm just saying people love their music just as much as you do yours. How does that make you any better? Why does it matter why they like it?

I do understand where you're coming from. You just don't like technical skill with your morning coffee and soe people do. I, on the other hand, prefer just a bit of sugar and cream.

In all seriousness, why you make not like they genres or the bands, I still stand by the fact that there is no wrong way to enjoy music. So long as you enjoy it who cares?

^ Agreed.

It's still fun to poke fun at people who are different though.

Don't get me wrong, I can enjoy complex solos and great guitar work, but not when the songwriting is based around building complicated riffs and solos for the sake of being complicated.

Well on the other side, some people have ADD and get bored with three chords indie ballads with some annoying british dude wailing out sappy lyrics for 5 minutes at a time. Some people need that constant attention grabbing action in their music. I can certainly relate to both, I'm like a roller coaster when it comes to musical moods. Sometimes I want emo and sometimes I want speed metal, it just depends.

Listening to the G3 bunch is like watching someone try to paint a picture as fast as they can, and not worrying about how the painting actually looks when it's done.

Ok G3 is overkill, why point that out. I mean they are like the radiohead of technical music. ;)

No seriously, there are good and bad just like any other genre. So pointing out G3 is like scrounging to the bottom of the barrel. I mean it's just a bunch of has been all trying to prove they've all still got it... at the same time.