thirtiesgirl

Urban Hate, please tell me you're not that disingenuous. If Zaq's reason for finding Beth unattractive is not about her weight, why then post a pic of her next to a slender woman? Why not post a pic of Beth and, say, Mama Cass, or the women from Gravy Train? Why continue to post 'comparison' pics of Beth next to slender women? Zaq can play the game all he wants and pretend that his reasons for finding Beth unattractive are not related to her weight, but I've been around for too long and have seen sizeism take on many guises. This is just one of them. As I've said before, I don't expect Zaq to find Beth attractive. Attraction is subjective and my point is not to make others find fat people attractive. My point is that Zaq's comparison pics are unnecessary, since his point in posting them is to underscore exactly how unattractive he finds Beth Ditto. Believe me, we fat people know how you feel about us. We know you find us unattractive, socially unacceptable, lazy, slovenly, unambitious, etc. We don't need to see those viewpoints repeated ad infinitum everywhere we go.

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Even in my darkest recollection, there was someone singing my life back to me. ~Neko Case

thirtiesgirl

Um... slutty?? You know nothing about Beth's sexual history and have no cause to judge. Quit slut shaming women.

__________________
Even in my darkest recollection, there was someone singing my life back to me. ~Neko Case

The Fascinating Turnip

Learn how to read properly, stop searching for excuses to defend yourself.

Goblin Tears

Well he WAS compartmentalising women...she has every right to get defensive when people are basically telling her to take her idea of beauty elsewhere in a thread that is entirely subjective.

thirtiesgirl

Thanks for your support. When I first posted in this thread, my point in posting a variety of women with a variety of body shapes was to indicate that there's no need to compartmentalize beauty or what one finds attractive. I also made that point in writing to Zaq. You guys do it to the extreme and it has caused nothing but harm and damage to women who try to maintain that ideal. I think it's very important to try to create a social environment where people of every body size, shape, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation and age can feel accepted, loved, understood and safe. Where they don't need to try and maintain impossible standards of beauty and cause harm to their bodies simply because that's the dominant standard. Please explain to me how that's "arrogant, defensive and unnecessary" and why I'm deserving of bad treatment.

__________________
Even in my darkest recollection, there was someone singing my life back to me. ~Neko Case

thirtiesgirl

Huh? s_k wrote that Beth is slutty in his post. Why the judgment? He knows nothing of her sexual history.

__________________
Even in my darkest recollection, there was someone singing my life back to me. ~Neko Case

thirtiesgirl

Thanks for the support. I didn't know I was linked to other threads. It saddens me, but if kids want to play those kinds of games, it just highlights their own immaturity.

__________________
Even in my darkest recollection, there was someone singing my life back to me. ~Neko Case

The Fascinating Turnip

I found your attitude arrogant, defensive and unnecessary. I'm not sure who you mean with "You Guys", but that aside I beleive Zaqarbal merely clarified your initial question about the thread being about the beauty of a woman's voice or their physique. After that you merely started picking a fight, even if the argument was fairly civil in the beginning.
The tone you took just now was perfectly adequate, nothing against that, you just explained your cause.

s_k was clearly referring to a member of Vengaboys, he has no idea who Beth Ditto is, as you would notice if you'd read his post properly.

thirtiesgirl

Ooh, I've been deemed "perfectly adequate" by a guy. I've done my job and obtained a modicum of acceptance. Goody. My question was why do you find my 'attitude' "arrogant, defensive and unnecessary." You haven't answered that question, merely repeated what you said before. And the answer Zaq gave me as to the point of this thread was what I suspected: it's a thread where most guys post pics of women they find physically attractive, and it has very little to do with admiration of their musical talent, creativity, personality or world view. I'm sure there are some guys who have posted pics of women in this thread that they admire for more than their looks, but the majority is all about the physical.

While I know I'm not going to change the male gaze or guys' looks-based assessment of women, what I can do is present an alternative to the many posts in this thread that are all about looks by posting pics of women with a variety of body shapes, women who I admire not just for their looks, but for their accomplishments, their creativity and talent. Which is what I did, and was then questioned by Zaq on my choice to include Beth Ditto because he doesn't find her physically attractive. Zaq further bolstered his assessment that Beth is unattractive because she's fat by posting several 'comparison pics' of Beth and thinner women. As I wrote above, if Zaq's intentions were not to offer pictorial commentary on Beth's weight as the reason he finds her unattractive, why not then post 'comparison pics' of Beth and Mama Cass, or Beth and the women from Gravy Train, Beth and Adele? Why choose slender women as his point of comparison? I've played this game for too long and seen too much sizeism disguised as other things, so I can see it when it's there. If Zaq doesn't find Beth attractive, that's his prerogative. But there's no need to continuously maintain what we already know to be true, that the general public thinks all fat people are unattractive, lazy, slovenly, unambitious, etc. Fat people receive that message every day of their lives. It might be nice to be able to have some places where we can go where that message is not reinforced, for a change.

Perhaps it's a language issue, since s_k is not a native English speaker. Regardless, I don't care who he's calling a slut, whether it's Beth or anyone else. Calling anyone a slut is unnecessary. We don't need more slut shaming going on.

__________________
Even in my darkest recollection, there was someone singing my life back to me. ~Neko Case

The Fascinating Turnip

You must have some sort of inferiority complex.
You were throwing around accusations of sexism and sizeism while you stood in your little pedestal.
This thread IS for people to post pictures of women (who happen to be musicians) they find physically attractive, it's not supposed to have anything to do with their talent. There are other threads for that, and it doesn't make much sense for me to go and completely derail a thread just because I don't agree with it. I'm sure there's already a thread in which this particular subject is being or was discussed.

I didn't deem you perfectly adequate, i meant that that tone was polite and I appreciated it. I don't like thinly veiled insults and you've been doing that in this thread for quite a while, being condescending and belittling everyone else.

Edit: And no, it was certainly not a language issue, don't blame your faults on someone else, you're being extremely obnoxious.